ALL MY CHILDREN

AUGUST 18, 1999



[Knock on door]

Mateo: Hi.
Raquel: Hi.
Mateo: I didn't think you were going to let me in.
Raquel: I was busy packing.
Mateo: Well, I won't be long. I have a gift for Max.
Raquel: You can just put it there on the table.
Mateo: Yeah. It's a cowboy hat. I burnt it myself. Sized it, shaped it --
Raquel: Oh.
Mateo: Perfectly. Every real Texan doesn't leave the house without it, especially when he rides.
Raquel: He'll love it. Thanks.
Mateo: I was thinking maybe you could take a picture of it, you know, while he's wearing it and he's riding. You could send it to me.
Raquel: Sure.
Mateo: Be sure to give him a big kiss for me, ok?
Raquel: Yeah, I will. I have a lot to do and not a lot of time, so if you don't mind --
Mateo: Why are you taking your dishes to your parents?
Raquel: Because I'm not coming back.

Dixie: I'm so sorry, Tad. I'm so sorry about the baby.
Tad: Shh. Honey, honey. Honey, baby, listen to me. You did everything you could, everything in your power, to save the baby.
Dixie: I didn't, I didn't, or else why would this have happened?
Tad: Honey, you are not to blame for this. Do you understand? This is not your fault.
Dixie: I should have stayed home. I should have put the baby first instead of running around town acting in documenties --
Tad: You did put the baby first. You put the baby first from the very beginning.

[Knock on door]

David: I'm very sorry, Dixie.
Dixie: Why did this happen?
David: Can you give us a few minutes?
Tad: Now?
David: I would like to run an exam.
Tad: Baby, if you need anything, ok? If you want anything, anything at all, I'll be right outside this door.

Joe: Son, how is she?
Tad: Oh, uh -- Hayward's giving her an exam. She's --
Tad: It's hard, Dad.
Edmund: Joe told me. I'm -- I am so sorry.
Tad: Thank you.

Gillian: Thanks, Stella. I'll take care of this. Thanks.
Stella: Very well.

Gillian: Alex, what's wrong?
Alex: What kind of a man is your cousin Edmund?
Gillian: He's a good man who misses his brother. Look, why don't you sit down and tell me what he's done to upset you.
Alex: Oh, it was so cruel. I've never been treated like this in my life.
Gillian: Edmund's not cruel.
Alex: I got a call from this Dr. Martin to come and meet him at his office, and Edmund was there. It was an ambush. The doctor starts questioning me as if I was a criminal, and Edmund just sits there, savoring every moment of it.
Gillian: That must have been horrible, but I'm sure that
Edmund didn't mean to hurt you.
Alex: Why would he subject me to an interrogation like that? I'm hurting too and he's still harassing me. It's like he's investigating me.
Gillian: And he won't stop until he has all the answers. He's just trying to make sense out of Dimitri's death.

Dixie: What did I do wrong?
David: Nothing.
Dixie: I must have done something wrong this wouldn't have happened.
David: There was an abnormality in the fetus that you had no control over.
Dixie: Oh, I've let Tad down so much.
David: That's not true.
Dixie: It is. I bullied him about this baby from the beginning.
David: You couldn't bully anyone, Dixie.
Dixie but I did. I -- all I could do was just do what I thought was right.
David: Even when you thought your life was in jeopardy, you always thought of everyone else but yourself. Your husband, your boys, this baby.
Dixie: It wasn't enough.
David: You can't think like that. You need to get strong again. I want you to keep up with the regimen that I outlined for you, to build up your strength. You still need to take care of yourself, Dixie.
Dixie: Why? I couldn't take care of the baby.
David: All right. Ok, shh. Let me listen to your heart, ok?
David: It's strong and steady.
Dixie: How can you say that? My heart is broken.

[Pager beeps]

Joe: You'll have to excuse me. I'll be back soon.
Tad: Go ahead.
Edmund: Dixie had some medical problems?
Tad: Mm-hmm. But we thought everything was great, you know? She was being monitored. Hayward had given her the go-ahead. And then -- I was at the studio yesterday. I got a message saying she was here and that she was in trouble.
Edmund: Joe told me how much she wanted the baby.
Tad: More than anything. I feel like such a jerk, you know. All this time I've been -- I've been worrying about Dixie, you know, concerned about her health, sweating over the next seven months, and the entire time e was -- all I can say is this baby was every bit as much a reality to her as either Jamie or Junior. She's devastated.
Edmund: You know, when Maria had a hard time getting pregnant -- when she finally got pregnant with Maddie, it was like I'd walk in on her and she was just holding her belly and a little smile on her face. I felt like I was interrupting private conversation.
Tad: I know what you mean. I don't know how you survived Maria's death, Edmund. If I lost Dixie, I have no idea what I would do.
Edmund: Don't let the walking and talking fool you. You know, just getting by is not the same thing as living.
Tad: I mean it. I'm almost ashamed to tell you how terrified I was because of this pregnancy. And then -- I guess because of Dixie's faith, I -- I began to think that, you know, it was possible. You know? That I would be able to hold a little piece of both of us in my arms. Dixie thought we were going to have a girl, too.
Edmund: I'd like to see Dixie.
Tad: Oh, yeah, sure. After Hayward's finished with her, I'm sure it'd be all right. As a matter a fact, I think it would do her some good to see you.
Edmund: Yeah, it'd be good for me, too.
Tad: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Edmund. I'm so sorry. I apologize. I was so tied up in all my problems I forgot about Dimitri.
Edmund: No, no, forget it. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Forget it. I still can't believe that he's gone, you know. There's so much left undone, so much unsaid. You always think you have tomorrow.
Tad: Yeah. Keeps it fresh, doesn't it? Reminds you you got to hold the people you love close every day while you can.

Gillian: Alex, why don't you come and sit down? Would you like some coffee, or do you prefer tea?
Alex: Well, I prefer tea, but I'll have coffee.
Gillian: Cream and sugar?
Alex: No, thanks.
Gillian: You know, I -- I just believe that a strong cup of coffee helps you clear your mind.
Alex: Is that a Hungarian practice?
Gillian: What?
Alex: Well, having a little coffee with your sugar.
Gillian: No, no, it's just me. I like it that way.
Alex: All right.
Gillian: Here.
Alex: Thanks. Oh, gosh.
Gillian: Oh, you poor baby. You're shaking. You're still upset, aren't you?
Alex: I know. I am. It was like they were trying to trick me into giving them the answer they wanted. It was humiliating. I'm afraid I lost it and just fled.
Gillian: You know, maybe you can try and forgive Edmund. I mean, it was just two years ago that he lost his wife, Maria, and now Dimitri. It's -- it's so sudden, and it's just too much. He's really just trying make sense out of something that makes no sense at all.
Alex: I know. I know. Losing people like that, so close together, it must be heartbreaking. He and his wife, they really loved each other?
Gillian: Yeah. I only met Maria a few times at Vadsel But Edmund just worshipped her. They almost seemed to be able to communicate without even speaking. You know, when they weren't even together, like at a dinner or a party, when their eyes met, you could just tell they were together, like a couple. You know, complete in themselves.
Alex: What was she like?
Gillian: I didn't know her that well, but she was kind of like an old soul. She was -- she was wise and kind, but she could make Edmund laugh by just lifting her eyebrow. She was -- what do you call it? A neurotic?
Alex: A neurosurgeon.
Gillian: Yes, yes. People said that she had a gift. She worked on people's brains. I mean, can you imagine it? Being able to help people and save their lives and give them hope?
Alex: Hmm.
Gillian: Edmund still hasn't gotten rid of any of her stuff.
Alex: Sometimes being surround by your loved ones' things just makes you feel closer to them.
Gillian: I used to sleep in my ex-husband's shirt after we separated. It just made me feel close to him. I guess that's what Edmund's trying to do.
Alex: What do you mean?
Gillian: Well, I came down last night to get one of Peggy's deviled eggs, and Edmund was sitting right here on the floor surrounded by Maria's books, hunched over, reading.
Alex: Why?
Gillian: I don't know. I didn't ask him, and he was so consumed by all the books that he didn't even notice me. But I think he was trying to look for answers on Dimitri's death.

Mateo: You're not coming back? You're going to live with your parents?
Raquel: No. Max is having a great visit, but once it's over, we're going move in with my cousin Angie.
Mateo: I thought you were happy here. I thought Max was happy here.
Raquel: Oh, yeah, we have been. Max is in heaven now that you're in his life. But it's just gotten --
Mateo: But -- but what? Do you need something else? You need some money maybe? Do you want to live in a different place? Some place with a yard?
Raquel: It's time to move on.
Mateo: Just like that? You're out of here, like that, huh? Can we talk about it?
Raquel: Mateo, it's too hard for me -- seeing you every day, right across that courtyard. You know how I feel about you, living so close and not being able to --
Mateo: Stop. Stop, stop packing. Stop. Listen, I don't want to be the reason you leave. All right? Why don't you just take a few days. Think about it.
Raquel: No. It's for the best.
Mateo: I know we've had a rocky start, ok? And we're building a real family for Max. It's what you wanted. It's what I wanted. For you to leave now --
Raquel: I know. You'd miss Max --
Mateo: I'd miss you, too, and -- I don't know, the family we've created.
Raquel: Well, do you want me to stay?
Mateo: you know I just want you to be happy -- Ok, I thought you were happy with the arrangement.
Raquel: It helped Max, but you have to admit it was hard for everyone.
Mateo: Yeah, I know.
Raquel: I thought we might have a chance after the way we danced last night but for you, it was just a way to get back at Hayley.
Mateo: I didn't mean to hurt you.
Raquel: No, but you did, and you do over and over again, and you don't even realize it. Do you understand that every time you go to get your mail or take your trash out I am reminded of what I want most and I can't have?
Mateo: Well, I'm sorry about that.
Raquel: Sorry? Sorry for what? For living your life? I realized last night that I need to get on with my life, too. And that's why I'm leaving.
Mateo: Believe it or not, I just want you happy. And if moving in with your cousin does that for you, I'm not going to stop you. Williamsport's pretty close anyway. I'll be able to see Max all the time.
Raquel: Yeah. He'll like that.
Mateo: Well, since I'm here, why don't I help you pack?

Tad: I guess the baby touched me more than I ever thought was possible. Lord knows, I'm not the most optimistic guy in the world, but after I finally came around, the world seemed like a brighter place because of all the hope she gave us. I'd kind of like to hang on to that.
Edmund: Tad, you know, you've come through this a lot stronger and wiser than most.
Tad: I'm not through it yet, pal. What about Dixie?
Edmund: She'll be fine. She has you.
Joe: Is David still in there with Dixie?
Tad: Yeah. I'm beginning to wonder what's taking so long.
Joe: Well, it's standard procedure, I'm sure. You think we may have upset Alex too much this morning?
Tad: Alex? Who's Alex?
Edmund: It's Dimitri's widow. Yeah. Listen, Joe, I've been giving a lot of thought to what you said, and maybe I was a bit hard on her.
Tad: Wait, wait, wait. Just -- I'm a page behind. "Widow" -- "widow"? He was married? What did she do?
Edmund: Everything. Nothing. I don't know. I --
Tad: Well, it must have thrown you for a loop when she showed up. What's she like?
Edmund: Yeah. I'm trying to figure that out, Tad. You know, she's beautiful and she's very smart. And she's got a will of iron. Alex is a woman to be reckoned with. That's for sure.

Tad: How is she?
David: Well, physically, she's stable. Emotionally, it's going to take some time.
Edmund: Would you mind if I had just a couple of moments with her?
David: Well, she was falling asleep as I left the room, so --
Edmund: Ok, forget it. Listen, I'm going to go back to the office. I'll see you all later. Joe, thanks.
Joe: Yeah.
Tad: Thanks.
David: As I joined you, I thought I overheard someone mention the name Alex?
Joe: Yes, yes. That would be Alex Marick, Dimitri's widow. You know her?
David: No, um -- no, earlier I thought I saw someone that I used to know, another Alex, but I must have been mistaken.

Alex: Lots of books there. I hope Edmund found what he was looking for.
Gillian: He won't stop until he does. Although I don't think he will ever find the real answer -- why his wife and Dimitri was taken away from him. Anyway, I have to go. My one friend called me. I have a few things to pick up, so -- are you going to be ok?
Alex: Yes, of course.
Gillian: Are you sure?
Alex: Yes. Look --
Gillian: No more shaking.
Alex: No. Thank you.
Gillian: Take care.
Alex: Yes. You, too.
Gillian: Bye.
Alex: Bye.

Stella: Those are Mrs. Grey's books.
Alex: Yes, I know.
Stella: May I help you, ma'am?
Alex: They were just lying there, and my curiosity got the better of me, so I -- I wanted to take a look. I don't need anything, thank you.
Stella: I came to pick up the coffee service.
Alex: Well, I might want another cup, so just leave it. There's a bag of mine that still hasn't arrived. Do you think you could check and see if it was left on the plane?
Stella: Certainly, Mrs. Marick.
Alex: Thank you.

Brooke: Oh, gee, I thought you weren't coming.
Edmund: Oh, Brooke, I'm sorry. Brooke, I completely spaced out. I just got caught up in the hospital.
Brooke: The hospital? Everything's ok, isn't it?
Edmund: Yeah,, I was with -- I had Dr. Joe talk to Alex, and I wanted to be there when he questioned her about, you know, Dimitri's death.
Brooke: How'd it go?
Edmund: Not easy. She left the office in tears.
Brooke: Edmund, I know you want answers, you know, but maybe --
Edmund: I know, I know, I should go easy. You don't know, do you? Dixie had a miscarriage.
Brooke: No. When did that happen?
Edmund: Yesterday, apparently.
Brooke: Oh. Did you see her?
Edmund: No. Dr. Hayward was with her, and then she was too out of it to see anybody.
Brooke: How's Tad?
Edmund: He's -- he's trying to be strong for both of them. But it's hard. Dixie blames herself, and he doesn't know how to comfort her.
Brooke: Well, she just wanted this baby very much, you know. There isn't really any comfort for that kind of pain.

Tad: How long is she going to sleep?
Joe: Hard to say. You look as though you could use some food.
Tad: Are you speaking as my doctor or my father?
Joe: As both. Something like this takes its toll.
Tad: Forget it, Pop. I told her I was going to be right here if she needed anything, and I'm not going anywhere.
Joe: No, of course you're not. Of course you're not.
Tad: Can you help me with something?
Joe: Yeah.
Tad: Dixie thinks this is her fault. And I've told her that it isn't, that that's ridiculous, but I know my wife, and this is going to be gnawing at the back of her mind, you know, thinking that she did something wrong. And I just -- I can't come up with a way that I can convince her that she wasn't to blame for the miscarriage. I can't think of anything to say --
Joe: You -- you'll just be supportive, and she will come to accept there was nothing she could do about it.
Tad: There's something else. She's told everybody that we know that she's pregnant. What are we going to do? I mean, how's she possibly going to heal when people who don't know about the miscarriage keep coming up to her and congratulating her, you know, and asking about the due date and what name she's chosen? I can't stand it, Dad. I don't want her knocked down by good intention every time she tries to get back up.
Joe: No, she doesn't need a constant reminder of what she's lost.
Tad: I'm just going to have to get on the phone, start punching numbers, call everybody who we told, everybody they might have told, everybody who's heard a rumor. I just don't want her to hurt any more than she already is.
Joe: She'd very lucky to have you.
Tad: I'm going to have to track down Opal. She's still out of town, right?
Joe: I'm sure you will.
Tad: What?
Joe: "What?" I just want to tell you something. With you by her side, Dixie is going to come out of this stronger she's going to be fine.
Tad: Hope you're right.

Mateo: See? You needed my help after all.
Raquel: Look, I don't need your help. I'm used to being by myself.
Mateo: I want to help.
Raquel: Look, I said I can do it, ok? Look, it's better this way anyway. I'll know where everything is when I unpack at Angie's.
Gillian: Hello, guys.
Mateo: Hi.
Gillian: Are you taking your things to Angie?
Mateo: Raquel's moving. To Angela's.
Gillian: But you just moved in here. Where does Angie live?
Raquel: She --
Mateo: Williamsport.
Raquel: I can speak for myself. Max and I are moving
in with my cousin Angie. Gillian: So you are leaving Pine Valley?
Raquel: Yeah, and there's nothing you can do to change my mind. It's what I need to do.
Gillian: Hey, I think it's a great idea.
Gillian: Well, I guess we better get you packed. So is there anything I can do?
Raquel: No, not really.
Mateo: If you need anything I'm across the way
Raquel: I know.
Gillian: So you've decided to leave Pine Valley?
Raquel: It's best. There isn't any point to staying.
Gillian: I understand when you realize that the man you love is a lost cause. I mean, I couldn't do that. When Ryan lived across from me at Myrtle's, it just killed me to see him every day and not being able to touch him or anything. And now that he's moved out and living in Liza's loft, it's -- it's a lot easier, you know, so, I -- I couldn't move. You're definitely a lot braver than I am.
Raquel: So, you think I'm doing the right thing?
Gillian: Absolutely. Absolutely. You can start over. You can forget about Mateo. And you know what they say -- out of sight, out of mind. Ah, Raquel, why are you so mad?
Raquel: I'm not mad, all right. Just please leave me -- just leave me alone, ok, Gillian?
Gillian: Oh, Raquel. I know when you told Mateo you were -- you were leaving town, you were really hoping that he would say that you shouldn't go, right?

Brooke: You know, Dimitri's death and now Dixie, I -- boy, it's a lot of sadness, you know. I don't know. I don't feel like I can concentrate right now. So --
Edmund: Brooke, why don't you just get out of here, ok? Go -- you want to see Dixie?
Brooke: You read my mind. Do you want to go?
Edmund: Later. I've got to answer a bunch of -- I got to write some thank-you notes for the people who shared their memories of Dimitri.
Brooke: Oh.
Edmund: You know, Brooke, maybe people die sometimes just -- they just die, and no matter how much you love them and how much you -- you try to save them. Maybe that's what happened with Dimitri. You know, maybe I should just accept it and quit pushing Alex and just believe her.
Brooke: I really think it would be a good thing to do, Edmund. I mean, really, for both of you.
Edmund: You know, it struck me on the way over here that I -- I had an easier time consoling tad over his loss than I did Alex over somebody in my own family.
Brooke: Look what happened. I mean, you were hit with so much. I mean, Dimitri dying and, you know, Alex showing up. You just did what made you feel comfortable, what you're best at -- investigating and analyzing -- and it's just that, you know, your target was Alex. And she seems to be suffering as much as you.
Edmund: Maybe I've been an investigative journalist a little too long. I'm starting to see conspiracies where there aren't any, you know? Oh. The only thing I've discovered is that I'm hurting the woman that my brother loved.

Tad: I'm worried, Dad. I've never seen her like this before.
Joe: During the pregnancy, she was your support. Now you're going to be hers.
Tad: And that's really ironic, considering how much I resisted this pregnancy, I mean, especially, you know, at the beginning. You'd think that I would be relieved not to have to go through the next seven months of my life worrying about Dixie's heart, her kidney. Instead, I feel like -- I feel like a part of me is gone, you know, like that baby was our future.
Joe: Look, Tad, I promise you, it's just a matter of time, and not all that long, when the both of you will be able to look into the future again and be hopeful.
Tad: Thanks, Dad.
Joe: For what?
Tad: The day you came over for lunch, you know, and I was lobbing baby catalogs around like they were Frisbees. I was angry. I mean, I was just furious with Dixie of her devotion for this baby. You reeled me in.
Joe: No.
Tad: You told me that I should try to live in her faith instead of my fear. Because of that, we had some very sweet moments. Only now -- I'm never going to get to hold that baby, my daughter, who looks at me with Dixie's eyes.

[Dixie dreams about the baby]

[Baby cries]
[Baby cries]

Dixie: Tad?
Tad: I guess I was hoping for a miracle -- healthy wife with a beautiful baby girl in her arms. Now that's never going to happen.
Joe: When something is wrong with a baby, sometimes God takes matters into his own hands and spares the parents the heartbreak of a painful decision.
Dixie: Tad?
[Dixie stands outside her hospital room door and hears Tad say…..]

Tad: I don't see that happening anytime soon, but maybe I'll accept it. This miscarriage really was for the best.

Raquel: Fine! I admit it. I was hoping that Mateo would get down on his knees and beg me to stay. I'm such a fool.
Gillian: No, no, you weren't. But just tell me, I mean, last night you told me you were going to fight for Mateo, and now all of a sudden, you're leaving town.
Raquel: You saw us at S.O.S. The way we danced.
Gillian: Yeah. Yeah, it was kind of hard not to notice all the bumping and grinning --
Raquel: Look, I was so sure after everything that Hayley did and with Mateo going away with max and me, I was certain that there was a chance. And then we came back here and it was --
Gillian: It was what?
Raquel: Mateo made it clear that he doesn't want me here I didn't know my heart could break into any more pieces.
Gillian: I know what you mean. You know, when I told Ryan that I wanted the divorce, my whole body, my whole soul just wished that he would hold me and tell me it's ok, he doesn't want the divorce, but -- he didn't.
Raquel: Thanks for understanding.
Gillian: I'm going to miss you, you know? Maybe you can give me your cousin's address and phone number. We can stay in touch.
Raquel: I'd like that. Hold on.
Raquel: Maybe you'll visit.
Gillian: I will. Good luck.
Raquel: Thanks. Bye. Oh, oh, wait. Here. Thanks for lending me your dress.
Gillian: You're welcome. Bye.
Raquel: Bye.

Gillian: Hi, Mateo. You have a second?
Mateo: Ok.
Gillian: You want to sit down?
Mateo: Sure. What's up?
Gillian: So what's going on?
Mateo: Nothing.
Gillian: Yeah. Oh, it's kind of interesting, Raquel moving out and everything, you know.
Mateo: Yeah.
Gillian: But I think it's a good idea.
Mateo: I guess things were harder for her than I thought.
Gillian: Well, it's hard for you, too, but, I mean, now you can get back together with Hayley, right?
Mateo: Wait, wait. Wait, wait. Just because -- just because Raquel's leaving doesn't mean that that's going to make things right for us.
Gillian: Why not? I mean, you love Hayley, she loves you. I mean, what more --
Mateo: It's more than just love. It's -- it's about trust. She broke that trust. 'S not like you can glue it back tether. There's no such thing as almost as good as new.
Gillian: You know, you men, you always have to make everything so complicated. See, it's really simple. You love Hayley, she loves you. I mean, what more do you want?
Mateo: Trust.
Gillian: Come on, Mateo. She was hurt. She acted out. Why can't you just forgive her?
Mateo: Maybe you're over the whole thing between Hayley and Ryan, but I'm not.

[Raquel hears Gillian talking to Mateo]

Gillian: Mateo, man, come on, this is your chance.
Mateo: Chance for what?
Gillian: Well, now that you're free of Raquel, you can -- you can follow your heart and you can -- you can be with the woman you love, Hayley. And you can just live happily for ever after.

Brooke: All right. I'm going to get out of here, all right? I'm going to go visit Dixie.
Edmund: All right. Give her a kiss for me. I'll see her soon, ok?
Brooke: Yeah, I will. You know, I think you're doing the right thing. I do -- about trusting Alex.

Jack:: Hey, I just wanted to stop by And tell you there might be a snag with Dimitri's will.
Edmund: Why? I thought everything was in order.
Jack: Actually, it seems -- it seems Dimitri drew up a new will.
Edmund: He didn't tell me anything about that.
Jack: Wait, wait, wait, no, before you fly off the handle, you and I both know that a lot of people change their wills when they get married.
Edmund: Ordinarily I'd agree with you, jack.
What is Alex up to?
[Alex has one of Maria's books and is starting to rip out a page}

[Noise]

[Alex takes the books and runs out of the room]





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