David: Alex, are you trying to psyche me out?
Alex: No. Mind games are your style, not mine.
David: Running the Andrassy foundation has never been high on your wish list.
Alex: I couldn't resist the opportunity of working side by side with such a renowned cardiologist.
David: And whose inspiration was this?
Alex: Mine. I ran it by Joe, and he's presenting my decision to the hospital board now.
David: I thought you couldn't wait to leave Pine Valley.
Alex: Oh, it isn't home, but it has its charms.
David: For weeks you've refused to administer your late husband's research foundation. You've made it very clear that you have no desire to live here in Pine Valley. Now suddenly you have, what, change of heart? Decide to make this your home? To work side by side with a man that you obviously loathe? Why not run the research foundation yourself as per Dimitri's wish?
Alex: It's none of
your business. David: Come on, Alex. To what do we owe this honor? A sudden change of heart? A sacrifice in the name of medical research? Uh-uh. Sorry, doc. This boy ain't buying.
Alex: You don't stop, do you?
David: Your pupils are dilated, doctor. Respiration shallow, pulse racing. Diagnosis -- you hate my guts. Treatment -- go right ahead. Give me your best shot. But, remember, I'm dangerous when provoked.

Trevor: Boy, the joint is rockin'. Business is really good, huh?
Adrian: Yes, it is. It's the holiday season.
Janet: Well, Santa's been good to S.O.S.
Adrian: Well, you should know. Trev, have you told your wife lately that she works entirely too hard?
Trevor: I try, but her ears are plugged.
Janet: I think that crunching numbers helps me keep my brain sharp.
Trevor: All work and no play means no zip-a-dee-doo-dah day --
Janet: Oh, you'll get --
Trevor: Or night.
Janet: I'll give you some zip-a-dee-doo-dah.
Trevor: Oh, promises, promises.
Adrian: Ooh, well, I must say, it's good to see you out partying instead of hunched over some spreadsheet.
Trevor: Yeah, while we're talking party, how about two Top Shelf margaritas, salt, on the rocks.
Janet: Sounds good.
Adrian: Coming right up.
Trevor: Great.

Janet: What?
Trevor: Whoa, black ink. Business must be good.
Janet: Enough shop talk. I've had money on my mind too much lately -- you know with that get-rich-quick scheme.
Trevor: Yeah, just out of curiosity, what would you've done with all that money if you had made a big killing on the stock market, huh?
Janet: Well, I guess I would've considered it freedom. You know, freedom to -- to see you and Amanda more, not work so hard. But -- but you're right. We are the richest people I know.
Trevor: Hey, if you want to opt for early retirement, go ahead and do it. We can make it on my paycheck, plus some.
Janet: It's nice to know that's an option.
Trevor: Hey, we got lots of options. And one of them is not you trying to pull money out of thin air.
Janet: You're right. I wasn't thinking straight. But you were. You ripped up Erica's check.
Trevor: Yeah, one K of certified bank confetti. Who says we're not living large, huh?
Janet: Not me. I want to put all that craziness behind me. I wouldn't change my life with you for a million bucks.
Trevor: Prove it.

[Adam watching TV]

Man: This is where the dish comes together. First we carve the succulent roast tenderloin of pork. Look at those juices flowing. Now, you folks at home, lean in real close and get a whiff of this baby. Man, is that good. Now --

[Adam grunts]

Man: Garlic mashed potatoes and just lay them on there. Is that enough? You want more?

[Laughter]

[Adam growls]

Adam: It's torture. It's just pure torture. That's what it is. It's pure, unadulterated torture. In direct defiance of the Geneva convention.

[Adam giggles]

Adam: My god, I'm beginning to unravel. I'm going crazy. I'm going to go crazy if they don't let me out of here. Oh. And while I'm in here going crazy, my brother is out there pretending to be me and -- and decimating my entire fortune.

[Adam laughs]

Adam: And the worst part of it is I haven't -- I haven't seen my Colby. I haven't held her in my arms. Oh. Who knows how long? Oh. Oh, baby, sweet-- oh, Colby, Colby. Baby, your daddy misses you so much. Get a grip, Adam. You've got to keep your sanity. For Colby's sake. How? I know. I know. I'll do what they -- what the prisoners of war do. I'll -- I'll keep my mind razor-sharp and my body fit so that when the time comes, I can successfully engage the enemy.

Liza: Answer me, Tad. You know.
Tad: Well, technically, "you know" isn't a question.
Liza: Right. Let me -- let me rephrase. What do you know, and how long have you known it?
Tad: What do you mean? Like a tomato's a fruit, not a vegetable?
Liza: About my -- my husband, that he's not the same person?
Tad: Oh, I get it. Ok, finally. You want me to apologize, is that right? No, no, you know, absolutely. You deserve it. You were right. I was wrong. I'm sorry. The man that just walked out of this studio is a prince, and that's for the record.
Liza: No, enough with the double talk.
Tad: No, no, no. No double talk. I mean it. I mean, thanks to him, now I've got to go out there someplace and find 100 people who want to be instant millionaires. Ah. I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to get on the phone to Regis and find out where he gets those really big checks.
Liza: Freeze, buster. Another step and I'm going to pull the plug on this show and I'm going to strangle you with it. I don't care how much money that you're getting out of Mr. Chandler. We are going to set the record straight.

Leo: Veronique, aren't you a bit far off the beaten catwalk?
Woman: I am Varta.
Leo: Oh.
Woman: Je m'appelle Veronique.
Leo: Pardonnez moi. I haven't seen such beautiful women this side of Rue Cloche.
Veronique: Vous etes tres beau, Leo.
Varta: We would like to make fun with you.
Leo: Oh, here's the keys to my suite. Have fun without me. I'll catch up.

[Whispering in French]

Leo: C'est la guerre.
Dixie: Old friends of yours?
Leo: I got bored waiting.
Dixie: Oh, I'm sorry.
Leo: It's a game I play when I'm fighting terminal boredom. You see that woman over there?
Dixie: Yeah.
Leo: She looks like she's waiting for somebody, but there's something a bit desperate about her, like maybe she knows she's going to finish her drink and go home alone. Now, the challenge is getting her to make eye contact. Here we go. She's looking. And now she's smiling.
Dixie: You are something else. And the point of that was?
Leo: I connect with strangers. I think it's maybe because I've lived in so many places.
Dixie: Oh. Well, I hope some day Pine Valley feels like home.
Leo: It has possibilities. Listen, feel free to cut and run. It's ok. Dixie: Why would I do that? Leo: Well, I know that the only reason you asked me here was as a favor to your Uncle Palmer. It's --
Dixie: Well, that's true. Sorry. But -- I don't know. Maybe I like you, you know? Like to know more about you. How do you like working at Cortlandt Electronics?
Leo: It's not my dream job.
Dixie: What would your dream job be?
Leo: 24-Seven doing nothing. With great perks and with time and a half for downtime. Total slacker nirvana.
Dixie: Excellent. And what if nirvana cannot be achieved?
Leo: I don't know. How about a gig where the average age is south of 40?
Dixie: Hmm.
Leo: You think there is such a place, Toto?
Dixie: I don't know, Marmaduke. Let me think about it. Yes! I know just the place. What do you say? Come with me?
Leo: Why not?
Dixie: Come on. It's just over the rainbow.

Tad: Look, Liza, I'd love to hang around and discuss your husband's finer points with you --
Liza: Look -- Tad: But I don't have time. I've got to launch a show.
Liza: You are not going anywhere until you give me some answers.
Tad: What answers? I don't know what you're talking about.
Liza: You are playing dumb right now.

Hayley: I need a savvy consultant f my new show. I need someone who defines style.
Erica: And naturally you thought of me.
Hayley: Well, naturally. But I know how busy you already are.
Erica: Hayley, you and I just really work very, very well together. I'm excited to be part of your new show.
Hayley: Really?
Erica: Yes.
Hayley: I could really use the input.
Erica: Well, fine. Well, do you have a name for your show?
Hayley: Actually, I'm working on that. Well, it's strictly working titles.
Erica: Ok.
Hayley: "Reb Trendspotting." "Stylin' with Hayley." "Star Styles." "TV Unmasked."
Erica: You know what? Naming a show is like naming a pet. When you know it, you will know it for sure. The shoe will fit. Liza?
Liza: What? Yes?
Erica: Where is Ryan Lavery?
Liza: Gone for the day.
Tad: He better not be. I expect all hands on deck in five minutes to prep for tomorrow's taping.
Liza: What? What do you need Ryan for?
Erica: Well, I need him to quote me the current airtime rates because I would like to be the major sponsor of Hayley's new show. It's a perfect tie-in for Enchantment's spring line.
Tad: What a great idea. Hey, listen, it's none of my business, but give Mama a call. I mean, you could always tie the Glamorama into your media pitch.
Liza: I want to talk to you.
Hayley: Really?
Scott: Tad?
Tad: Yeah.
Scott: What time do you want to run the dry rehearsal?
Tad: As soon as possible, if it's ok with Liza.
Liza: Rehearsal? Who's paying for the rehearsal? Who's paying for the crew? Who's paying for the overtime?
Tad: Adam.

Rae: Hi, everybody.
Liza: What?
Tad: Hey, Rae.
Rae: Erica. How nice.
Erica: Hello.
Rae: Liza, you look a little -- you know what? Vitamin B. It'll pick you right up. Well, Tad, are we still on for the great Adam Chandler giveaway?
Tad: You betcha. The silver fox is primed and ready to slap down the big dinero.
Erica: Excuse me? Adam Chandler is giving away money for free?
Rae: Uh-huh.
Erica: That's impossible.
Scott: Oh, believe it. Believe it. He's agreed to bankroll Tad's new show and he's going to cough up a cool $100 million in prize money.
Erica: 100 -- Liza, has Adam had another stroke?
Liza: Oh, I'm not going to stand here and debate
my husband's generosity. Erica: Or his mental state.
Tad: Ladies, please. We got a promo to brainstorm. Especially if we're going to be ready for prime time tonight. Now, listen --
Liza: No, we have a discussion that we haven't finished.
Tad: I was picturing --

Greenlee: Gotcha.

Alex: The first tenet of the Hippocratic oath is to do no harm, so I'm going to stay here with the foundation to make sure that you honor that.
David: This is ludicrous. I haven't had a babysitter since I was 8.
Alex: Think of me as a watch dog. An ugly one.
David: I won't touch that. Joe Martin has given me carte blanche to run my cardio unit as I see fit.
Alex: Joe is enamored with your professional expertise, period. I don't think he likes you any better than I do. Why don't you look on the whole thing as one big compromise? I'm honoring Joe's choice and Dimitri's wishes. You and I will have equal say in how the Andrassy foundation is run.
David: Hmm. And when we disagree?
Alex: What do you think the likelihood of that is?
David: In the spirit of compromise.
Alex: Exactly. You can walk away any time you like. I won't think any less of you. That's not possible.
David: I don't walk away, Alex.
Alex: Yes, you do. You're good at it.
David: If it's your game plan to make my life miserable, force me to quit, you better rethink your strategy.
Alex: I'm only interested in finding a cure for the disease that killed my husband. I thought I had a choice about that, but I don't.

Singer: I see it I can't believe it oh but I feel it

Trevor: No cutting in.
Adrian: I wouldn't dare. Listen, you have a phone call.
Trevor: Oh.
Janet: Babysitter?
Adrian: No, actually, it's business. Your answering service patched through one of your clients. You can grab it over here at the bar.
Trevor: I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill them. Yeah?

Janet: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't --
Sophie: You can't be too careful.
Sophie: Better watch your step, hon. Take a tumble when you least expect it, suffer the consequences.
Janet: Sophie.
Sophie: One false move gets you endless grief. Chipped tooth, broken nose, serious brain bleed. Janet: You got your $50,000 payoff. I want you out of my life forever.
Sophie: Forever is a long time. I got lonesome.
Janet: We can't talk here. I'll meet you in the ladies' room in five minutes.

Ryan: Greenlee --
Greenlee: Hmm?
Ryan: If you really would like a job on Hayley's show, being seen kissing the guy who's practically dating her does not look very good on your resume, ok?
Greenlee: Duh, I knew that. Which is why I grabbed you back here.
Ryan: I see. All right. Well, this place is a zoo. Anybody can walk by and see us --
Eli: Ryan, Tad's screaming for your head.
Ryan: You see?
Greenlee: Ok. I'll behave. For now.

Tad: Looks like Marcia Brady to me.
Rae: Oh, stop.
Tad: Ryan, where have you been?
Liza: I really need to talk to you --
Tad: I called you an hour ago.
Liza: Tad --

Rae: Listen, I am dying to show you something, and my job is not to mind my own business.
Erica: Oh, and you do that so well.
Rae: Thank you, Erica. So, Hayley, I was sitting in the makeup chair, and I had this idea for your new show that I hope you might like. I went to graphics, and they did a little mock-up, so --
Hayley: Oh!
Rae: Here it is. What do you think?
Liza: I like it.
Hayley: I love it.
Rae: Do you?
Hayley: I get to have my own cartoon.
Tad: Can action figures be far behind.
Rae: Erica, what do you think?
Erica: I think since Hayley loves it, it's perfect.
Hayley: Oh, Erica's agreed to be my consultant/style coordinator.
Rae: Oh, really.
Erica: Well, if it's about style, Enchantment wants to be there. Got to fly. Bye-bye.
Hayley: Thanks. Bye.
Rae: Bye.
Erica: Bye.

Rae: You know, if Erica had never been born, they really should have invented her, don't you think? Liza we have some unfinished business --
Dixie: There he is -- Tad!
Liza: We need to take --
Tad: Honey, what are you still doing here?
Dixie: Well, I found you a guy Friday.
Tad: Where?
Dixie: Right here. It's Leo.
Tad: Are you insane? Aside from being Hayward's stepbrother and Vanessa's son, he's Palmer's latest Bullwinkle.
Dixie: Tad.
Tad: That's three big sho
ts against him right there. Leo: Now, now, don't judge me by the company that I keep.
Tad: Why shouldn't I? Have you ever worked in a TV studio before?
Leo: I used to hang around the Cinecitta Studios in Rome.
Tad: The Conichiwa what? Doing what?
Leo: Hanging around.
Tad: Ciao, pal.
Leo: Oh, come on. Give me a trial run. Keep me off the streets and make your wife happy.
Dixie: Yeah, Tad. Make your wife happy.
Tad: Am I going to regret this. Ok, fine. You want a trial run? How's about you go out and scrounge up 100 people who want to be instant millionaires? Think you could do that?
Leo: Sign me up.
Tad: You're fired. Just kidding. Get to work.
Leo: Thanks, Dixie.
Dixie: No, don't thank me. I have a feeling you're going to be a natural at this.
Leo: Oh, let's hope so. Hey, there. How are the polar bears doing?

Rae: Hey, can we have a production meeting first thing in the morning? I've got a zillion ideas for the new giveaway show.
Tad: Only a zillion?
Rae: Well, you know, large sums of money are so inspirational, don't you think?
Liza: Excuse me --
Tad: Especially when they're coming out of Adam's bank account.

Liza: I really need to have a special little conversation with Mr. T.V.Q. I want you to stop playing innocent. I know that you know that Stuart is impersonating Adam.
Tad: No way!
Liza: Would you stop doing that? Be honest with me. I know what you're doing. You want my husband to give away all his money before Stuart gets caught
Tad: Let me get this straight. You think that Stuart is pretending to be Adam?
Liza: You know he is.
Tad: Well, I got to hand it to you, Liza. That's quite a fantasy there. Although, I mean, it would explain a lot of things, such as Adam handing out checks like they were candy canes.
Liza: When did you catch on?
Tad: When? Whoa, sister. I'm not sure you aren't in need of some serious medication here. I mean, even if Stuart were willing to do such a thing, who could put him up to it?
Liza: My mother.
Tad: Marian? Marian? That's rich. Ok, ok. I'll go with it. So -- so what would Marian stand to gain from all this?
Liza: It's complicated.
Tad: Yeah, well, I should say so because -- stand back -- here comes the best part -- what is Adam doing while his brother is out there robbing from the rich and giving to the poor?
Liza: Adam is on retreat.
Tad: You mean like "retired"? Yeah, ok. No, ok. This is good. So just -- just to clarify, somehow Marian was able to convince Adam to just hang up the old silk suit and let Stuart take the limo out for a spin, huh? Ok, ok. Where exactly has Adam, or your soon-to-be ex, been hanging out all this time?
Liza: It doesn't matter.
Tad: Oh, I see. Ok. You know, you're right. You're right because the less you say, the better because, hey, I wouldn't want to be part of a kidnapping conspiracy because -- let's face it -- the only way Stuart could get away with something like this is if Adam were dead somewhere or locked in a trunk.
Liza: Would you stop it. Don't worry about Adam. He got what he deserved.
Tad: I'm impressed. And I thought you were ticked off when he stole the station.
Liza: Well, that's not all he did.
Tad: Hey, you don't have to justify yourself to me. As far as I'm concerned, you did the world a major favor.
Liza: But it doesn't give you an excuse to loot his bank account, Tad.
Tad: Oh, yes, it does, sister, because I got "Adam's" permission.
Liza: Stuart does not have the authority to sign away his brother's fortune.
Tad: Well, don't look now, but it looks like he's doing a really, really good job of it.
Liza: Oh!
Tad: Besides, you got your own money. What do you care if Damien gets fleeced?
Liza: Let me tell you something. It's Colby's inheritance, and I will not --
Tad: Colby's -- what are you talking about?
Liza: Let Colby's estate be sold down the river by a talk show host.
Tad: Colby is Jake's daughter, not Adam's. Adam's already got three children out there who have t to contend with the karma of his ill-gotten gains. And not for nothing. Speaking as her uncle, the less that Colby inherits from your soon-to-be ex-husband, the better it is.
Liza: You're right. Adam should not be making any investments in my daughter's future.
Tad: Come on, Liza. Look at the bright side, ok? You and I both know that money does not buy happiness. But I, for one, am really going to have a good time watching this entire town lining up to give it a shot. If you want my advice -- get yourself a really good settlement. Take the alimony and run like hell before I bleed that old gasbag dry.
All right, everybody, heads up! I want that promo ready to go in an hour!

Ryan: I -- I faxed over the ad rates to Erica's office.
Hayley: Great, great. She's a major capital infusion.
Greenlee: Hayley, anything I can do to help?
Hayley: No, actually, we got it under control.
Greenlee: Ok, well, if you need anything, anything at all, just whistle.
Hayley: Will do.
Greenlee: Mr. Lavery, nice to see you again.

Dixie: Why don't you tell me some of your concepts and ideas for this new show.
Rae: Really?
Dixie: You must have a lot of people that you want to investigate, right?
Rae: You sure it won't bore you?
Dixie: No. I'll just pretend you're Tad. I'll squint my eyes.

[Dixie imitates snoring]

Rae: Yeah. Ok. There is one topic that sort of jumped out at me. It's attorneys who traffic in black market adoptions.

Erica: I have the perfect solution to our problem.
David: And what problem is that?
Erica: I have just come from WRCW, and it seems that Adam chandler is going through some sort of a major life change.
David: What, has he morphed into another human?
Erica: Something like that. At least scrooge after the third ghost. Adam is doling out money by the truckloads. So I am planning to request that he fund a grant so that you can have your own foundation.
David: You don't have to do that.
Erica: David, I know that I don't have to do that. But this is just no time for you to let your fabulous male pride stand in the way of success. With Adam's millions, you can have your very own foundation.
David: Erica, you don't understand. Alex stopped by here earlier.
Erica: You're kidding.
David: She offered me a spot as co-director of the Andrassy foundation.
Erica: Co-director?
David: Mm-hmm.
Erica: That's ridiculous. And just who does she think you're going to co-direct with?
David: Alex.
Erica: Well, I hope you told her she could burn in hell first.

Edmund: So, what did Hayward say when you dropped your bombshell?
Alex: Well, he was pretty cool, as always. I don't think he likes being out of control or surprises or anything.
Edmund: Do you think he'll go for the team approach?
Alex: He didn't officially accept it.
Edmund: He didn't reject it, either.
Alex: You know, I'm not even sure it's workable.
Edmund: You want my honest opinion?
Alex: That's rhetorical, right?
Edmund: I think you honor Dimitri by taking an active part in his foundation. I think you scored a coup by getting Hayward onboard. He's a gifted doctor if nothing else.
Alex: Uh -- Edmund: And I think you get a chance to practice medicine.
Alex: This isn't where I was headed, you know.
Edmund: Who knows where you were headed. I think you should have a little faith in yourself, Doc. I do.
Alex: Thanks. I needed that.
Edmund: You're welcome.
Alex: It's so weird -- after all these years, I'm still bloody dealing with Hayward.
Edmund: Why don't you let me change the subject?
Alex: You didn't want to change the subject. You stopped the conversation dead.
What is it? Edmund: It's a box.
Alex: Yes. I see that.
Edmund: Why don't you open it.
Alex: Ok.

Janet: Mirror, mirror on the wall. Let it just be me, that's all.

Sophie: Hello, Janet.
Janet: I just have one question -- no, make it two. Where'd you get the uniform?
Sophie: The gal who owned it -- she didn't need it anymore. Next question.
Janet: When are you leaving town?
Sophie: You know, you seem like you're in such a rush to get rid of me, Janet. I'm hurt.
Janet: What, are you nuts? You can't go public. You know that lt. Frye I've been telling you about? He comes in here all the time.
Sophie: Not into the ladies' room, I hope. But just in case --
Janet: Yeah, well, I can't stay in the ladies' room. My husband's waiting for me outside.
Sophie: Well, let him wait. I saw you two drooling over each other, but it's swell to know you're so concerned about me, especially after everything I did for you.
Janet: Did for me? What have you done but terrorize my daughter and stalk me?
Sophie: Oh, please. Your little girl is not scared of me. I get along great with kids. See, the secret is knowing just how to bond with them. We start talking dogs or trading cards or bottle caps.
Janet: Bottle caps?
Sophie: Yeah. Well, they're a novelty. Well, they're cheap nostalgia. I saved up bags of them to use as shrapnel in my homemade explosives. I take pride in turning ordinary objects into lethal weapons. Remember?
Janet: Did you give Amanda bottle caps?
Sophie: No. But they sure came in handy when her little pal was wandering around the woods, sniveling.
Janet: Halloween. You're the one that placed the trail of bottle caps that led Junior out of the woods.
Sophie: What do you know? You're paying attention. Yeah. I made sure that kid found his way back to his parents. Now, of course, it could have gone another way -- I mean, to a mine shaft, to an open well. Maybe next time, huh? You know, I know those kids are still looking for the bottle cap guy -- which is real sexist, by the way. Why not the bottle cap gal, huh?
Janet: You stay away from Amanda. I told you not to go near her! I gave you the money. I did what you asked. You are supposed to be gone.
Sophie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the plan.
Janet: "Was"?
Sophie: This place is growing on me. Pine valley is my kind of town. Maybe I'll never leave.
Janet: You better think again.
Janet: I got you your lousy 50 grand. You should be in Rio by now.
Sophie: See, now, I was thinking -- I got nothing in common with the natives. Flunked high school Spanish. Couldn't write a ransom note to save my life. And a total redo is pricey.
Janet: What do you want from me?
Sophie: I want what you got.
Janet: I earned my happiness.
Sophie: Well, don't be so greedy! Spread it around!
Janet: You don't scare me. You know that? I'll tell you what. If you're not out of town by midnight, I'm going to sic the cops on you.
Sophie: Is that any way to talk to an old cellmate? I do for you, and you do me dirt. Huh. Oh. Your little girl might be missing this.
Janet: That's Amanda's.
Sophie: It's funny how kids get so quickly attached to things like mommies and daddies. Don't ever cross me, girlfriend, ever.

Image: See, Janet? I warned you.
Janet: No. I'm not listening to you. You shut up. You are not going to ruin my life.
Image: Me? Try Sophie. She's the one ruining your life. But the question is, what are you going to do about it?

Erica: I don't know how you can even consider working with her.
David: I'm a professional. I can handle Alex.
Erica: Have you already accepted?
David: I can live with the terms.
Erica: Even though she has done nothing than crusade against you?
David: I feel it's in my best interest to look the other way.
Erica: Well, I can't look the other way. David, I am sure that she had a hand in Dimitri's death. And I'm also very, very sure that he was not her only victim.
David: You're not serious.
Erica: Deadly.

Alex: "Crystal Ball."
Edmund: Well, we're sending these out as party favors.
Alex: So this is my invitation? Do we have to be that formal?
Edmund: I'm just glad you're -- you're sticking around.
Alex: It wasn't so long ago you couldn't wait to see my backside -- I mean because I was going back to England.
Edmund: I know what you mean.
Alex: So, you never told me -- when is this thing?
Edmund: New Year's Eve.
Alex: Uh --

Dixie: So, what got you interested in black market babies?
Rae: Well, you know, there are so many families seeking children through legal channels. But to sell a baby to the highest bidder? It's -- it's like putting a price tag on a human life.
Dixie: I understand you lost a child once, a daughter? Is that connected in some way?
Rae: You know what? Why don't we talk about this another time, ok?
Dixie: Ok.

Eli: We're going to do camera blocking at 10:00, And we break for lunch, and dress rehearsal at 1:15.
Greenlee: Um -- how many breaks do I get?
Eli: Um -- none. Interns are code for slave labor.

Leo: You are a chameleon.
Greenlee: What does that mean?
Leo: Well, the scene changes, you adapt.
Greenlee: Do I know you?
Leo: Yeah. Leo -- like the lion. We crossed paths at your gram's? You seemed quite intimate with Ryan. But here at the studio, it's -- it's all business.
Greenlee: Some lame rule about not mixing business with pleasure.
Leo: Yeah, it must get confusing.
Greenlee: Life's confusing if you don't know the program. I wrote the program.
Leo: I translated it into seven languages.

Tad: Honey, where's my boy Friday?
Dixie: Oh, he's over there doing research for Saturday night.

[Dixie laughs]

Tad: Look at him. I knew that kid was trouble the minute I laid eyes on him -- just like I was when I was that age.
Dixie: Just like you were? Excuse me. Come on. He's not that bad.
Tad: Yeah, but one thing's for sure -- Boychick is doing just fine for himself. Excuse me. All right, everybody, stand by. Nobody panic. We are going live to America's living room in one minute.

Image: Look at me, Janet. Look at me! I told you to eliminate Sophie. I warned you she would never be satisfied. And now she's back. Not only that, she creeped into your kid's room and stole that Mongo Congo toy right off her pillow?
Janet: I know. I know!
Image: And if you don't act fast, Sophie's going to snatch Amanda away and you're never going to see her again. Is that what you want? Is that what you want, Janet? Trevor: Where were you, babe? I was about to send in the bloodhounds.

Janet: I need you to take me home.
Trevor: What, what, what, what? You ok?
Janet: I just have a killer migraine coming on. I just want to go home and lay down.
Trevor: Ok. Ok, we'll take off.
Adrian: All right. Listen, I'm sorry about your night out.
Janet: It won't happen again.
Trevor: Good night.

Erica: Everything Alex Devane touches dies.
David: I know it may seem that way, but Alex is not a murderer. And besides that, she's not going to stay here forever.
Erica: How do you know?
David: Because I know Alex. She's going to stay long enough to get this foundation up and running, and then she'll move on. She even said as much.
Erica: Well, I wish I could be sure of that.
David: Trust me. There's nothing in Pine Valley to keep her here. You can count on me for that.

Alex: I broke it. I'm sorry.
Edmund: It's all right. It's no problem. Are you ok?
Alex: I got it, I got it. Yeah, I'm fine.
Edmund: Are you sure?
Alex: Yeah. Really.
Edmund: Listen, Alex, I didn't mean to pressure you --
Alex: No, no, no. No, it's not you. I -- I don't do New Year's Eve, ever. It's just a thing. I -- I won't be able to go with you. I'm sorry.
Edmund: I know what's wrong. We've spent too much time talking about people that we've lost and people we just don't like. How about a change of scenery?
Alex: What do you have in mind?
Edmund: What are you doing tomorrow? Are you free?
Alex: Yeah, I think so.
Edmund: Good. Wear your mittens. And wear something on your feet because, lady, we're going to kick your troubles right to the curb.

Tad: Excuse me, folks, but now is definitely not the time to go to the kitchen and get that sandwich because it just might cost you $1 million. Hi, ladies and gentlemen. I am Tad Martin, and I am the host of a hot new show called "Nothing but the Truth." And we are kicking things off live tomorrow night with none other than Adam Chandler, who will be digging deep and passing out millions of dollars to people in need. So if you think you deserve a shot at being an instant millionaire, studio operators are standing by to take your call. The number is --

Adam: No, no, no!

Tad: 555-1717. That's 555-1717. You call us now, tell us why you think you deserve a million bucks, and this time tomorrow night you could be standing next to philanthropist Adam Chandler --

Adam: Sorry to disappoint you, buddy --

Tad: And his wallet.

Adam: But my bucks stop right here.