David: What is this? A new hobby?
Erica: Give your interior designer a kiss.
David: So, what, are you redecorating the entire hospital?
Erica: Your office is going to be featured in the best design magazines. I've spent the entire morning with my decorator. Just look at these samples. They're to die for.
David: Well, not exactly a phrase I like associated with my work, but --
Erica: Oh, sorry. Look at this. David, look at this -- this mohair. Look at this. Isn't this just heaven? What do you think?
David: Well, I think it's exquisite. I hate to squelch your gorgeous fire, but I can't make this decision by myself.
Erica: Why not? I mean, certainly it's not the money.
David: It's Alex. Every aspect of this foundation involves both of us, including decor.
Erica: Not if I have anything to say about it.

Alex: It's amazing how fun it is, falling on your bum.
Edmund: Well, it beats throwing objects of art around the place, doesn't it?
Alex: Yeah, yeah. Don't knock it till you tried it. No, no, that was fun, though, being out there in the fresh air. It was lovely.
Edmund: Good. Well, don't thank me because it's not over yet. We're not finished.
Alex: Oh, no, there's more?
Edmund: Yes, there is. There's tradition. First, after skating, we need a roaring fire. Then hot chocolate.
Alex: Oh.
Edmund: Brandy is optional.
Alex: Well, good.
Edmund: Let me take this thing from you. It's a little bit on the wet side.
Alex: I know. I did fall down a lot.
Edmund: Yes, you did.
Alex: Ugh. Disgusting. I got it.
Edmund: I'll tell you what -- division of labor.
Alex: Mm-hmm.
Edmund: I'll tend to that fire, and you -- why don't you work on the hot chocolate.
Alex: No, you cheated. What did you do, call Stella and have her deliver it?
Edmund: Yeah, I guess I did. You can pour, though, can't you?
Alex: Yeah.
Edmund: Ok.
Edmund: Hey, what do you know. The clock stopped at almost 12:00. I don't know whether it was noon or midnight.
Alex: Oh, that thing hasn't worked since I got here.
Edmund: Well, leave it to me. I will fix it.
Alex: No, no, it's all right. Don't.
Edmund: No, I am a handyman, believe me.
Alex: No, I'll deal with it later, please.
Edmund: No, Alex, this clock is kind of temperamental. You have to work the minute hand and not the hour hand, or the chimes --
Alex: Please, don't. Just leave it.

Dixie: Everybody, yay!
Tad: Well, that's it for today. I want to thank everybody who made this show possible. My -- my crazy wife, Dixie, who was gracious enough to step in at the last minute. But first and foremost, I want to say a very special thank-you to our guest and our sponsor, Mr. Adam Chandler. Thanks to him, a community center's going to be rebuilt and an aids hospice will be well funded into the next millennium.
Tad: Well, unfortunately we're out of time, but we hope you catch us next time around because Adam assures me we have a lot more money to give away between now and Christmas.

[Applause]

Dixie: Yay!

Adam: Enjoy your applause, Tad, because the whole lot of you is going to jail!
Adam: Barry, get over here. Bring me a cell phone. I'll explain it when you get here.
Adam: Yeah, would you patch me through to Tad Martin? Tell him that Adam Chandler is calling. Yeah. The party's over.

Tad: Thank you for watching "Nnothing but the Truth." Thank you.
Dixie: Thank you. Oh.
Liza: I had my doubts, but, I mean, bravo. The results are undeniable. Hayley called, and she said that the phones were ringing off the hook the minute you went on air.
Tad: Great. Well, we couldn't have done it without Adam.
Stuart: It was great fun to help -- [as Adam] help my public image. And I'm sure the stock will go higher and higher.
Liza: That suit must be really hot. I'm sure you want to change.
Stuart: Yes, thank you. I will.
Liza: Oh -- children crawling all over the equipment. Excuse me.

Jake: What's with that guy? What did you say to convince him to give away that much money? You blackmailing him?
Tad: No. Look, I told you, 'tis the season, all right? He obviously is not immune. Speaking of which, aren't you supposed to buy the latest tickle-me toy for Colby?
Jake: It's a cuddle-me toy.
Tad: Whatever. Get there before they sell out.
Jake: All right, all right. Merry Christmas.
Dixie: Merry Christmas.
Tad: Phew. Listen, in case I haven't told you, you're fantastic.
Dixie: It was absolutely so much fun to help. I'm sorry Rae missed all the fun.
Tad: Yeah.
Dixie: I hope she's finding that Daniel guy in New York.
Junior: That was so cool, tad. And Charlie got a million bucks r the community center. It's all because of you and my dad.
Tad: I'm glad we could help.
Junior: By the way, where is Dad, anyway? He was really awesome. I just want to tell him how good he was.
Tad: Uh -- I tell you what -- your dad's got to get out of his Santa Claus outfit. Why don't you give him a little time.
Dixie: Yeah, yeah. Look, look, there's Zack and his mom. Why don't you go over there, go to the video arcade, and when I'm done here, I'll come pick you up and we'll go find him.
Junior: Ok, sure.
Dixie: Ok?
Junior: Wait till I tell him what Dad did.

Singer: But that fire is so delightful

Liza: You can try it.
Jake: Hi.
Liza: Hi.
Jake: Are you going to let me in on the little secret here?
Liza: What would that be?
Jake: Santa Adam. I see it, but I don't believe it. I mean, I don't get why he's doing this. Blackmail? Has he got some kind of psychological imbalance? I don't get it.
Liza: Well, there's nothing to get. It's an act.
Jake: Why?
Liza: What do you mean, why? It's not my job.
Jake: Well, I'm glad to hear that. Kind of afraid you were going to fall for this Santa act and run back to him.
Liza: Don't worry, Jake. Adam Chandler won't get to me ever again.

Adam: No, this is not a crank call. This is Adam Chandler. Don't you dare put me on hold. Idiot!
Barry: Stuart, where's Adam?
Adam: I'm Adam.
Barry: Nice try, Stuart. But Adam -- Adam was just on live television looking nothing like that. He must have called me from the mall. There's no way he could beat me here. I was just up the street.
Adam: It's me. Stop jabbering. Give me that cell phone.
Barry: You're -- Adam?
Adam: Would I give away millions of dollars for no reason, Barry? Would I let somebody hit me in the face with a pie? No, I don't think so. And would I let you negotiate that Latin American deal? No.
Barry: I'm sorry, but I don't understand.
Adam: Stuart has been masquerading as me, with Liza's blessing.
Barry: Come on. How -- how is that possible?
Adam: It's a conspiracy! That's how it's possible.
Marian, Stuart, Tad, Liza -- they're all in it. All of them. Keeping me locked up.
Barry: Locked up? What are you talking about?
Adam: I just escaped from the safe room. Don't look at me as if you think I'm daft. Marian trapped me in there.
Barry: Marian got the better of you? I don't think so.
Adam: She had help.

[Colby cries]

Adam: Oh, Colby. She's crying. I can't let my -- my little girl cry. Don't move.

Erica: This partnership with Alex Devane -- this is an insult. It'll cripple your work, David. And let me ask you something. Why is it that she insists on invading our lives at every turn?
David: Well, this is more Dimitri's doing than Alex's.
Erica: Oh, please. Not long ago, Alex Devane couldn't wait to leave Pine Valley, and now you have to consult with her about window treatments?
David: I'm not worried about it. I can make it work.
Erica: David, the only reason that Alex Devane decided to stay here at all was to make your life miserable. It's going to be a disaster.
David: Are we still talking about decorating?
Erica: Among other things, yes. And you know he's going to want one of those ghastly floral wallpapers. And I know she's also going to choose those ugly old oil paintings with the hounds chasing the foxes. And the furniture -- she's going to want that English --
Joe: Don't let me interrupt. Just getting some coffee.
Erica: Oh, Joe. Joe, thank God you're here.
Joe: What is it?
Erica: Joe, I just learned that the Andrassy foundation doesn't yet have office space. I mean, David clearly needs an office and as soon as possible. Can't you do something about that?
Joe: Well, could I get some coffee first?
David: Well, actually, Joe, Erica's absolutely right. I would like to be up and running by the first of the year, and I can't do that without adequate space.
Joe: Uh-huh.
David: Any delay could severely compromise my work.
Joe: Yes, I noticed. I see that. Well, two things, doctor. First of all, you do have a co-director, so I suggest you work out some kind of time frame with Alex, as well as with the board. This is a team effort, not a one-man show.
David: I understand that.
Joe: And the second thing -- while I do support you, you must not cause problems, and not cooperating with Alex will cause problems. I hope the two of you will work together to make this foundation everything it's supposed to be. Am I clear?

Edmund: What's wrong?
Alex: Oh I'm a light sleeper. And it seems like every time I'm about to close my eyes, that thing chimes. So I just let it wind down.
Edmund: Ok. Well, unfortunately I already wound it a couple times, so, listen, why don't I just stick it in my pocket so the maids don't come in --
Alex: It's fine. Don't worry about it, really. I got to pour this, or else it'll get cold.
Alex: What do you want, cream or marshmallows?
Edmund: Both.
Alex: That's a true Marick.
Alex: There.
Edmund: Thank you.
Alex: This is very nice, really.
Edmund: Listen, now that you've had a chance to unwind -- so to speak, yes -- have you given any thought to going to the Crystal Ball?
Alex: I don't celebrate New Year's Eve. That's my thing. It's my tradition. And this year won't be any different, no matter how nice the invitation is.
Edmund: What happened? Did you get hit in the head with a champagne cork? Is that it?
Alex: Yeah, that was it.
Edmund: No, come on. Seriously. I mean, what is it about New Year's Eve that's, you know, got you?
Alex: New Year's Eve. I find it -- I find it really depressing. There's a desperation to it, a sadness.
Edmund: Ok. Ok, don't think of the Crystal Ball as a New Year's Eve party. Think of it as a party in its own right. Now, we raised a lot of money in the past for Maria's foundation. We'll do the same now for Dimitri's.
Alex: I don't feel like celebrating.
Edmund: Ok. Don't think of it as a party. Think of it as work. Think of it as you and a bunch of rich, old people you have to talk to until you're bored to death.
Alex: Well, that is very shrewd. But the answer's the same. I don't like New Year's Eve.
Edmund: I don't understand. It's new beginnings. It's a time to celebrate, isn't it?
Alex: This is the beginning of the rest of my life without Dimitri.
Edmund: I'm sorry. I -- Alex, I didn't think.
Alex: It's all right. Do you understand?
Edmund: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Joe: I wish I could provide office facilities immediately, but I can't make that promise. I will say, however, that I regard Dimitri's endowment as a Godsend and I will do my very best to honor it.

David: Great. Sounds like he's going to put us in a pup tent.
Erica: No, no, no, no. I know Joe. I know he's going to come through. He's going to get that space as soon as he can. Tell me something. Has Joe issued a press release yet about the Andrassy foundation?
David: No, he hasn't. I've been writing something myself.
Erica: Oh. Ok. Can I look at it? I'm pretty good with public relations.
David: And private.
Palmer: Just perfectly -- uh-oh.
Vanessa: Oh, my, my, my. We're interrupting. David, really. You should be more discreet, dear.
David: Let it rest, Vanessa.
Erica: Palmer, I'm so glad to see you up and around like this. You look wonderful. How are you feeling?
Palmer: Well, another day here, I'll be on my way to the morgue.
Erica: Oh, no.
Vanessa: Feisty as ever, you can tell. Oh, I can't wait to get him home. Oh, and, David, congratulations on your appointment.
David: Thank you.
Vanessa: I understand it's all due to Palmer. Without him, you'd be just another overpaid cardiologist. But instead you're the director of the prestigious Andrassy foundation.
David: Co-director.
Erica: Palmer, I must say, I'm a little bit disappointed. I mean, I do appreciate all your help, your support. You've been fabulous. But I would have preferred that Alex Devane not be part of this package.
Palmer: Well, it was, you know, unavoidable. Alex insisted. And it is her right, according to Dimitri's will.
David: Well, regardless, Palmer, I want to thank you for rising above the attempts at character assassination and championing my cause. You won't regret it.
Palmer: I hope I won't.
Vanessa: Well, I am so proud of both of you. Oh, Erica -- Palmer and I were just on our way to the cafeteria to see if there's anything at all edible there. Would you mind escorting him? I would like a word with my son.
Palmer: Would you mind, Erica?
Erica: Of course not, Palmer. Of course not.
Palmer, what do you think about hiring a P.R. Firm --

Vanessa: Leo tells me you've been checking up on him. Did you find what you were looking for?
David: Nothing surprising.
Vanessa: Hmm.
David: Neglect, emotional abuse, yanked from chateau to villa, boarding school. I know the drill. Seems my dear old brother's childhood was no better than my own.
Vanessa: Oh, David. You only see what you want to see, don't you? I love that boy, and he is devoted to his mother.
David: And you love nothing more than blind devotion.
Vanessa: Oh, why don't you just ask him. But he does love his mother.
David: Why bother? I know how you operate. I'd have to deprogram him before I can get a straight answer from him.
Vanessa: Well, I'm sorry, David, that Leo is the son you never were. Whoa. I had better go rescue Palmer before Erica wears him out.

Dixie: I sort of feel like we're taking advantage of him, you know? I mean, how many times can he play Adam?
Tad: I don't know about that. He seems to enjoy giving the money away. It's just that every time he signs his name to Adam's check, he's committing forgery. I mean, he could go to jail.
Dixie: Does he know that? Because if he doesn't, we should tell him. And then he --
Tad: Might want to back out. I would. That's a good idea, honey. I think I'll tell him that we know, tell him it's ok if he wants to change his mind.

Stuart: [As Adam] well, haven't I done everything you asked me to do, Tad? What more do you want from me?
Tad: I want to tell you how terrific you were today.
Stuart: Well, you're wasting my time.
Tad: It's ok, Stuart. Dixie and I know. And I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, but the fact is now that you're giving the money away, we are a little worried because we're all committing a crime here. I mean, this is fraud and forgery.
Stuart: [Normal voice] it's ok. I know you know.
Tad: You do?
Stuart: Yeah. And I know exactly what I'm doing -- and why.

Adam: Oh, I missed you, Colby. I missed you. Look at her. Isn't she beautiful?
Barry: Ah, a real cutie.
Adam: I've missed holding you, my darling. I missed you so much. I'm going to fire your nanny. She left you alone and crying in there. I could have been a kidnapper. I want Marian arrested for kidnapping and false imprisonment.
Barry: Adam.
Adam: I want Tad Martin arrested for grand theft and whatever other cocktail of charges you can come up with. I want Stuart, my brother, arrested. I want him arrested for conspiracy and fraud. I want them all in jail by tomorrow morning. All of them. No bail, no mercy. Try to find a judge who will be favorably disposed toward us. There you are, my darling. Yes.
Barry: Adam, think about what you're doing, huh?
Adam: I thought about it a great deal. I'm just getting started.
Barry: You're the one who could end up behind bars.
Adam: I'm the one that's been wronged.
Barry: We've been through this. If Liza presses charges for the sperm switch, you're facing jail time. I suggest caution.
Adam: Caution? I can't afford caution. Don't you understand? Tad Martin and my brother are giving away millions of dollars of my money. My stockholders think I've lost my mind. I'll lose my company. I'll be ruined.
Barry: They've actually helped you.
Adam: You aren't working for them now, are you, Barry?
Barry: Of course not. I'm talking dollars and cents. The stockholders have responded to the media hype. You're Adam Chandler, the mogul with the Midas touch and a heart of gold. Chandler Enterprise stock has never been higher. Just look at that. That's the latest price.
Adam: That's not accurate.
Barry: That price reflects the market upswing immediately after your appearance on Tad's show.
Adam: What's the matter with these people? They give money -- they invest money with somebody who just turns around and gives it away? Where's their business sense?
Barry: Well, all I know is, whatever Stuart's doing with whoever's helping him, it's working.
Adam: Well, it's got to stop right now.
Barry: Adam. Your first priority is Colby, correct?
Adam: Of course it is.
Barry: Stay in hiding a little while longer. Let them think they're still in control. Give me time to establish your paternity. If you jump out at them now, Liza could vanish with Colby and we'd have no legal recourse. There's a chance you'd never see your daughter again.

Marian: Winifred, I think I left the TV on in Adam's study.

Adam: Stall them. I've got to get out of here.

Marian: No, no, no. Don't trouble yourself. Barry: I -- I called for the nanny, and I -- she didn't hear me or Colby.
Marian: Good grief, Barry. What are you doing? Haven't you ever held a baby before? She's not a legal brief, you know. Come here, baby. Oh.
Barry: Well, I heard her cry, and I checked on her. I think she likes me.
Marian: What are you doing wandering around the house like this, anyway?
Barry: Oh, nothing. I -- well, I mean, I -- I -- I was working on some papers, but I'm done now. I'm going. It's late. Ooh, it's late. Got to go. Bye. Bye, Colby. Yeah. I think she likes me.
Marian: Well, that was very strange, precious. Wasn't it, huh? Oh, no. Adam. He didn't discover Adam, did he, Colby? Oh, no.

Adam: Oh, Colby. Colby, I haven't seen you for so long. Please. Please, Marian, let me hold her. I beg you.
Marian: As far as I'm concerned, you're never going to hold her again, Adam. Do you hear me? Oh, you saw Tad's television show. Don't you think Stuart was absolutely marvelous? Colby did.

Tad: Wait a minute. How did you know?
Stuart: Well, it wasn't hard. When you shake my hand and look at me, your eyes are kind. And when you talk to Adam, your eyes get sort of squinty and like they're made out of steel.
Tad: Squinty, huh? Ok, well, I should have known you'd be on to me before I'd be on to you. But tell me something -- just where is Adam?
Stuart: He's safe and sound.
Tad: That's all? That's all you're going to tell me, isn't it?
Stuart: Yeah.
Tad: Ok. You're a wise man, Stuart, and a good friend. I'm sure you've got a very good reason for doing whatever you're doing.
Stuart: Yeah, I do.
Tad: But it is more than just Adam stealing the station from you and Liza, isn't it?
Stuart: It's for Colby. I'm doing it for Colby.
Tad: What does Colby got to do with anything?
Liza: Hi. Hi.
Stuart: Hi.
Liza: Charlie wanted to get a picture with Adam Chandler. Do you mind?
Stuart: No, no. Adam Chandler.

Tad: Did you make that up?
Liza: Why would I do that?
Tad: Because Stuart was about to tell me something you didn't want me to know.
Liza: Have you discussed this with your brother?
Tad: No, not yet.
Liza: Really? Well, keep it that way. I think too many people know already.
Tad: Come on, Liza. Doesn't he have a right to know?
Liza: Look, just for everybody's sake, just leave it alone.
Tad: Liza, this is --
Liza: For the sake of your family, don't push it. All right? Just leave it alone. Please.

Scott: Listen, I'm just going to run these tapes over to Liza's office.
Becca: Ok.
Scott: Catch you in a bit.
Becca: Mm-hmm.
Scott: Ok.

Leo: Becca. You coming to work at WRCW?
Becca: No, I'm just helping Scott, actually.
Greenlee: I really am sorry about breaking your jars of chocolate sauce. It was really clumsy of me.
Becca: Mm-hmm.
Greenlee: I mean, you must have slaved over a hot oven for hours, and now --
Becca: Hot stove, not oven.
Scott: Hey. So, what do you say we go grab a bite to eat?
Becca: That would be great. Thanks.
Scott: Good.
Becca: Actually, I have Christmas caroling practice at church, so do you want to go?
Scott: Yeah. That would be great.
Becca: Really?
Scott: Yeah.
Becca: You interested?
Greenlee: Oh, if only. But my sock drawer is screaming to be recognized.
Becca: You?
Leo: Don't look at me. I'm tone-deaf. But thank you for asking. Good luck, pal. But watch out for the snakes.
Scott: Snakes? What snakes?
Becca: No, no, no. He's a little odd. Oh, wait. Can we go by the mall again? I totally forgot. There's a toy drive at church, and I wanted to pick up a few more toys.
Scott: Lead the way, Mrs. Claus.
Becca: Ok.

Edmund: Listen, I got to head back. The kids need me for supper, and they like to watch me eat my vegetables. And Maddie's vegetables -- you know what Maddie likes?
Alex: No, I have no idea.
Edmund: She likes cauliflower. Can you believe that?
Alex: Oh, my lord.
Edmund: She's not my daughter.
Alex: This is really nice. Thank you. The skating and the hot chocolate, the fire.
Edmund: Well, you're welcome. And I'm sorry that I pushed you about the Crystal Ball deal. I understand why you don't want to go.
Alex: I'm glad you understand.
Edmund: Yeah. But if you change your mind --
Alex: You're relentless, aren't you?
Edmund: Yes.
Alex: Wait. Your skates.
Edmund: Oh. Thank you. Relentless. Good night.
Alex: Good night.

[Knock on door]

Alex: I haven't changed my mind.
David: You haven't heard my proposition.
Alex: What do you want?
David: How about a peace offering?
Alex: "Dr. Alexandra Marick and Dr. David Hayward have been appointed co-directors of the Andrassy foundation for rare diseases, an endowment established by the late Dimitri Marick. The foundation hopes to find cures for those diseases --" la, la, la.
David: So, what do you think?
Alex: It's very good. Yeah. To the point. You're good at things like that. Got a flare for them.
David: Self-promotion?
Alex: Yeah. Surprised you put my name first.
David: I'm making an effort. I would like for this to work.
Alex: You even sound sincere.
David: As proof of that, I'd like to extend an invitation.
Alex: I already received one of these. Thank you.
David: Oh, good. Well, then, you're already going.
Alex: No, I'm not. No.
David: I don't understand. This is a perfect opportunity for us to talk up the foundation, garner support.
Alex: Yeah, well, I don't do New Year's Eve.
David: You have to. Joe has given us an ultimatum. We have to work together.
Alex: Oh, I have complete confidence that you can do this all on your own.
David: Alex, this would be a public demonstration that we're capable of being in the same room together.
Alex: Yeah.
David: What better way of instilling confidence in potential donors and colleagues?
Alex: I don't care.
David: You can't afford that attitude. Our futures and that of the foundation could rest on this.
Alex: Ooh! Could you just leave, please?
David: You're not going to make this easy, are you?

Tad: I'll tell you what. Just have a seat. I'm going to check the machine. We'll be out of here in a minute, ok?
Dixie: Hey, sweetheart, how about Stuart knowing from the get-go that we figured out he wasn't Adam?
Tad: Well, that's not what's got me concerned. I want to know about the big secret. It was weird. I mean, the minute Stuart mentioned Colby's name, Liza swoops in, grabs him away from me as fast as she possibly can.
Dixie: Well, maybe it's just what Liza said. She doesn't want too many people finding out, or else we'd all get busted.
Tad: No, no, no. It's like -- it's the way she said it. Don't get me wrong. I know Adam deserves whatever he gets. He stole the station and all. But my gut tells me that it would have to be something else to warrant this little looney-tune charade.
Dixie: And what about when Stuart posed as Adam and returned WRCW? You remember that?
Tad: Yeah.
Dixie: Where was Adam then?
Tad: That's a good question. Stay put. I'm going to make a phone call, ok?
Dixie: Ok.

Leo: Becca's totally on to you, you know? She knows you're not sorry about ruining her gifts.
Greenlee: Well, she'll get over it.
Leo: She's a sweet girl.
Greenlee: If you like a sugar rush with homemade gifties, caroling with the church, playing personal shopper to the underprivileged. Can you imagine if everyone was like that? Ugh. Boring. You know, my grandfather -- had the right idea. When someone needs money, write a check, and you get a tax write-off.
Leo: Oh. You're real hands-on, huh?
Greenlee: I can be. Depends on who's needy.
Scott: So, are you still going to go home for the holidays?
Becca: Not anymore, actually. My parents are flying out to California. My sister Lila -- she's pregnant, like 10 months. Her husband's in the Navy, and he's out in the middle of nowhere, and my parents are going to go help her out. She's had a -- she's had a really tough time. But I think they're going to stay for a while. I mean, even until the baby comes, maybe.
Scott: Would you like to go?
Becca: Well, I would, but I checked on a plane ticket, and it's really not in my budget, and my parents don't have the money.
Scott: What if I bought it for u as a gift?
Becca: Oh, no. No, no. It's way too much, Scott.
Scott: Hey, I was just following your examples, getting into the giving thing.
Becca: It's really, really very kind of you, but I just can't. Besides, Tad and Dixie invited me to stay for Christmas.
Scott: Oh, so there's a Santa Claus after all. Having you around for the holidays was on the top of my wish list. I'd like it if we could spend some time together.
Becca: I'd like that.
Scott: I missed you. A lot.

Liza: Mother.
Marian: Oh, darling. I just put Colby down for a nap. She was so sleepy. I think she missed her nap to watch her uncle Stuart on TV.
Liza: Did Adam see it?
Marian: Darling, he is so hot and bothered, you could turn off the furnace and heat this entire house on his rage alone. And Stuart is so good at being Adam now that Adam can just roast away until he's well-done as far as I'm concerned.
Liza: Yeah, I guess so.
Marian: Liza, what's wrong? Aren't you happy with the way Stuart is performing?
Liza: Oh, yes, mother. It's just that -- I don't know. I see Stuart being Adam, and he's so -- he's so kind and sweet and genuine. And I think to myself, well, why can't that be the real Adam, giving away money and spreading hope and laughter just for the joy of it, not because it's a tax write-off or some publicity stunt, but because it feels right in his heart? I mean, that kind of Adam I would fall in love with all over again.
Liza: All I've ever wanted was a loving and nurturing home. And instead I get this battlefield where there's no peace in sight.
Marian: Oh, darling, you'll have that home one day. I promise you. But not with Adam. Because Adam's incapable of changing, and you must never, ever trust him, darling, no matter how many promises he makes. Ok?
Liza: Oh, I know. I just -- I had wished so much that -- and I just can't give him another chance to let him hurt me or Colby.
Marian: No, you can't. Come on. Let's go up and kiss Colby. That always cheers you up, right?

Adam: Hold on to that dream, Liza. And I swear to you with everything that's in me, I'll make it come true.

Dixie: Hey.
Tad: Hey.
Dixie: You're not looking at your messages. You're thinking about Liza and Stuart.
Tad: I just wonder what's going on. It's driving me crazy.
Dixie: I can understand why Liza doesn't want anybody else to know.
Tad: But not anybody -- Jake. She doesn't want Jake to know something. She looked at me, and she said I should keep quiet for the good of our family.
Dixie: Well, that's either a threat or a warning. Does that make sense?
Tad: Not yet.

Leo: Oops, honey. It looks like you have a splash of homemade chocolate sauce on your hand.
Greenlee: Oh. That girl. She always comes out so squeaky clean.
Leo: What's with you and Becca? She seems harmless.
Greenlee: You don't know her like I do. Scott and I had a really good thing going until she started hanging on to him every second she got.
Leo: You and Scott? You're a busy girl, aren't you? Well, she doesn't seem like the femme fatale type to me.
Greenlee: Oh, no, she's the innocent type. Scott bought that fresh-off-the-farm milkmaid bit.
Leo: Is it the big l?
Greenlee: It's not the small S, that's for sure.
Leo: As in sex?
Greenlee: Mm-hmm.
Leo: She's a virgin?
Greenlee: Can you believe it?
Leo: I didn't know they made those anymore.
Greenlee: Oh. They import them from Pigeon Hollow.

Scott: I'm glad you want to spend time together. I was afraid that you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me after Greenlee and the tape and --
Becca: You know, when I saw that video and then when I saw you guys at the cabin, I just -- I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think of you.
Scott: I hated disappointing you.
Becca: You confused me more than anything.
Scott: All I wanted was to get you closer, and I pushed you away. You're the closest thing to an angel that I've ever met. You must have thought that I was the scum of the earth.
Becca: Let me let you in on a little secret, ok? When Greenlee dropped that jar of chocolate sauce, I wanted her on her hands and knees licking it up off the floor. Now, does that sound like any angels you know?
Scott: So there's a little devil behind that angel suit, is there?
Becca: I guess I'll have to watch that.
Scott: Let me.

David: Hey.
Erica: Hey. Where have you been?
David: I took the press release to Alex.
Erica: She doesn't have a fax machine? You couldn't read it to her over the phone?
David: I'm fresh out of homing pigeons.
Erica: Really, why did you go to her?
David: Well, Joe said he wanted a team player, and that's exactly what he's going to get. I thought it would be best if I delivered to her in person, show Alex that I'm willing to make this work.
Erica: Oh, David, it's not going to make any difference. She's the kind of person who really thrives on conflict she creates it when it doesn't exist.
David: Erica, don't worry. I've had to deal with women a lot more difficult than Alex. I even have the scars to prove it.
Erica: David, I mean it. I -- I -- I really don't like it.
Alex Devane is trouble.

[Alex dreams]

[Noisemakers]

Voices: Five, four, three, two, one!

[Cheers and applause]

Singers' voices: Should auld acquaintance be forgot ---

and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and [clock chimes]