Adrian: Listen, Tina and I are going to finish up here at the bar. The band's going to be here in about an hour. So everything's good to go. Why don't you get out of here, man. Go have some fun.
Mateo: Ok. Yeah, I will. You guys got everything under control?
Adrian: We're cool.
Mateo: You're going to show up later? Yeah? Going to wear your tux?
Adrian: A little something something.
Mateo: Yeah.

Hayley: Hi.
Scott: Hi.
Mateo: Hi.
Tina: Can I pour you some hot apple cider?
Hayley: Oh, thanks, but I'm on the clock. I'm actually -- I hate to bust things up. I got to borrow Scott.
Scott: What's up?
Hayley: Well, my plans for a nice quiet New Year's Eve alone have changed radically, and so have yours. I hope you didn't have anything planned.
Scott: Well, if it's a date you're looking for, I'm afraid I'm kind of taken.
Hayley: It's a cameraman I'm looking for. Greenlee tipped me off. There's going to be some righteous fashions at this shindig. I think our show should cover it.
Scott: Well, Becca and I were supposed to go with Tad and Dixie, but let me give her a call, let her know it's going to be a working date.
Hayley: Are you sure? I hate to horn in on young love and all.
Scott: Yeah, that's cool. She'll understand.
Hayley: Yeah?
Scott: Yeah.

Hayley: So, you going?
Mateo: Yeah, you know, it's for Maria. I got to go.
Hayley: Then I guess I'll see you there then.
Mateo: I guess you will.

Scott: Ok. All clear. The girl's an angel.
Hayley: Oh, great.
Scott: I'm just going over to WRCW and grab the equipment, ok?
Hayley: Yeah, I want to get there early so we can get background stuff and talk about the foundation, all the organizations that it supports, everything, ok?
Scott: Ok. Will do.
Mateo: Scott --
Scott: Whoo.

[Scott blows horn]

Hayley: Ok.
Mateo: Yeah. Right, right.

Alex: Thanks.
Alex: Oh, hi.
Edmund: Hi.
Alex: How was your ride?
Edmund: I want you to ride Califa some day. You'll love him.
Alex: Well, thank you. I'd love to.
Edmund: So what's going on here? Looks too serious.
Alex: Oh, there's been some last-minute changes. There weren't enough centerpieces, and there's three waiters out with the flu. Oh, Hayley Vaughan is coming. She's doing a piece on the dresses for some show. I don't know what she does, whatever.
Edmund: I know what you're doing, and I want it to stop.

Liza: What could be so urgent that you need to see Adam tonight?
Barry: Have you ever heard of a bug called Y2K?
Liza: Oh, Barry, ad nauseam. Chandler Enterprises is more than prepared for whatever hits it.
Barry: Well, that doesn't mean that the companies we deal with are ready. I mean, banks could actually accidentally withhold funds or close accounts. Wire transfers could be delayed, lost, or routed elsewhere. Adam needs to be on site, immediately available so that we can deal quickly with any crisis.
Liza: Well, if Armageddon hits, why don't you call me.
Barry: No, it's not just business. Adam is expected to make an appearance at the Crystal Ball and show his support for the Santos-Grey and the Andrassy foundations.
Liza: Well, I'll take of it.
Barry: Oh, catch up, Mrs. Chandler. Adam has become a media darling. He did all that hoopla about his giving away millions. I mean, the public can't wait for the next chandler sighting. Now, if Adam is a no-show, there will be a lot of questions you may not want to answer.
Liza: Well, then I guess I'll just go try to find Adam. I'm not making any promises. Do you understand?

Adam: Very good, Barry. Just the right note of urgency.
Barry: Adam, you're taking a real chance using that remote.
Adam: I'm getting very tired of crawling through air ducts, thank you. That's why I wanted this damn thing fixed. Besides, it's almost over.
Barry: Oh, I got a bad feeling about this.
Adam: You lawyers are such pessimists. You'll see. By the time the sun rises on the new millennium, Liza and Colby will be with me.
Barry: You're going to take Liza out of the country against her will, and you expect a second honeymoon?
Adam: I've been held captive for quite some time. Turnabout is fair play.
Barry: Fair play has never been part of our game.
Adam: Focus, Barry. Focus. You've already laid most of the groundwork. Liza's going to insist on taking Stuart to the ball to pretend he's me, right?
Barry: Yeah.
Adam: Now, the rest is easy. All you have to do is fabricate some business problem to that'll keep Stuart here.
Barry: So while I keep Stuart busy here, you go the ball with Liza and Marian as --
Adam: As Stuart pretending to be me.
Barry: Do you have any aspirin?
Adam: When the clock strikes midnight, Liza will be in my arms. I will guarantee it.
Barry: I -- I -- I -- I really don't think this is going to work. No, no, they are too many variables.
Adam: You just do as you're told. Leave the big picture to me.
Barry: You want to know what's wrong with the big picture? I'll tell you what's wrong with the big picture. Liza will hate you for bamboozling her. She -- she -- this is no way to win back a woman as proud as Liza.
Adam: You think I don't know my own wife? Of course, she'll be upset -- because she's forgotten her heart. She has been so bedeviled by Marian and Tad's bile that she can't see our love anymore. But I get her alone, just me and Liza and Colby -- just the three of us -- I'll make her realize how much she loves me.
Barry: You spent too much time in that safe room. Sensory deprivation can cause hallucinations.
Adam: This is no hallucination. I'm going to make it happen. And you're going to help me, aren't you, Barry?
Barry: Yeah. Yeah. Anything else?
Adam: Yes. Follow me into the safe room. I have a list of things, including a new offshore account --
Barry: Uh-huh.
Adam: And a tuxedo --
Barry: Uh --
Adam: Identical to Stuart's.
Barry: Wardrobe isn't one of my fortes.
Adam: I'm beginning to wonder what is. Come on. Hurry up.

Liza: That's odd. I didn't even see Barry leave.
Marian: I'm glad he's gone. But listen, I'm not going to change my mind. Stuart cannot play Adam. Not tonight, of all nights, Liza.

Jake: Did Gillian --
Joe: Call? No, not since the last time you asked. What's going on, Jake?
Jake: She's pretty special, isn't she?
Joe: Yeah, she's lovely. It certainly must be nice having her as a neighbor.
Jake: You know, you're getting a little rusty.
Joe: Huh?
Jake: The third degree used to be a little bit more subtle around here.
Joe: All right, all right. Well, let me be a little more direct. Is it serious?
Jake: Is it serious? Well, if love is serious, then yeah.
Joe: Hmm.
Jake: Yeah, it's serious.
Joe: You're sure it's not Gillian being grateful to a doctor and confusing that gratitude with love?
Jake: I know all about patients falling for their doctors for all the wrong reasons. This isn't that. This is the real thing, Dad.
Joe: Well, you know, it's rather soon after her divorce, Jake.
Jake: I know, but it's not a rebound, either. Look, I have talked it over with her. She knows how I feel. And I'm just going to give her some space for now. Don't worry about me, all right? Just be -- be happy for me.
Joe: Oh, son, I am happy for you. I just don't want you to be hurt. You have such a big heart.
Jake: Right now my life feels very good and full. I mean, first, it was because of Colby, and now it's because of Gillian. And in a way, they're a lot alike. They both make me see the world through fresh eyes.
Joe: Well, I hope your dream comes true. But, please, both of you, try and be absolutely certain.
Jake: We will. After all, I do come from a long line of people who follow their heart. And with a pedigree like that, how can you go wrong? Right?

[Pager beeps]

Jake: I got to get to the hospital. Dad, don't worry about me. I'm going to live happily ever after, all right?
Joe: Hmm.
Jake: I'll see you later.
Joe: Yeah.

Gillian: Grandmama, this is exquisite.
Eugenia: Yes. Come along, let's have a look. I think it will fit you. You know, I wore this the first time I met your grandfather, Alexi. Oh, that Alexi was so dashing. He would make me feel like a princess even if I were a pauper dressed in rags. What is it?
Gillian: I thought I found my Alexi.
Eugenia: Ah. And now?
Gillian: You fall in love and you think this is the love of your life. And then it ends. And your heart finds someone else. And you think maybe this is the love of your life. But how can that be? Maybe the first one was a mistake, a different kind.
Eugenia: You've thought about this quite a lot, haven't you? Hmm?
Gillian: Well, in the hospital, you have lots of time. Love is such a simple word, but it's so complicated. How do you know when you're in love with a man and not just in love with love?
Eugenia: Come along, my dear. Come along with Grandmama. I wish I had some easy answers, but I don't. I mean, love isn't a puzzle that you can kind of fit together. It's -- I don't know -- it's a feeling. It's a feeling with all the pain and the joy that goes with that.
Gillian: But how do you know?
Eugenia: It's in the heart. I mean, you can know all the languages in the world, but if you don't know the language of love, you'll never find what you want. So you -- you -- you trust your feelings. Oh, how you've grown up.
Gillian: How'd you get so wise?
Eugenia: Wise? Oh, my darling. Wise. I have made every mistake in the book, many, many more than you have, my dear, many more.

Edmund: Alex, I know how you feel about New Year's Eve. And I think it's enough that you're making an appearance. But I do not want you overseeing everything.
Alex: No, it's all right.
Edmund: No, it's not all right. It's not all right. It is an order. That's it. I want you to get some rest.
Alex: Well, for goodness sake, it's not a punishment. I mean, I wanted to help. I wanted to contribute. I know that this ball is a way for you to show how much you love Maria, and no matter how I feel about this holiday, I couldn't really pass up an opportunity to keep Dimitri's spirit alive for everyone who loved him, could I?
Edmund: It's Dimitri's ring?
Alex: Yeah. I didn't get a chance to thank you. I love it.
Edmund: And he loved you.

[Door opens and closes]

Edmund: Hey.
Mateo: Hello.
Alex: Hi.
Mateo: Hi.
Edmund: Hi.
Mateo: Place looks great.
Edmund: Thank you, thank you. Wait till you see it tonight. It's going to be the best ever.
Mateo: You say that every year.
Edmund: Yes, I do. Listen, Matt, there are some papers that I need you to sign for Maria's foundation. Then I can give them to the board, ok?
Mateo: Yeah.
Edmund: Cool.

Rae: Hello. I hope I'm not interrupting any family business.
Edmund: No, not at all. Is Mr. Sykes going to be joining you this evening?
Rae: Unfortunately, John can't leave Llanview at the moment.
Edmund: Oh, I'm sorry about that. Save me a dance tonight?
Rae: Yes, love to. I only stopped by to see if you need any help, Alex.
Alex: What, with the party?
Rae: Yes, of course.
Alex: Oh, right. No, no.
Rae: Sure? How are you doing?
Alex: Everything's good.
Rae: Good.
Alex: Yeah, I have a few things to take care of, but --
David: Whoa. It's freezing out there.
David: Well, this is our big night, folks. The Andrassy foundation and the Santos-Grey foundation. Donations are already pouring in. Before we know it, we'll be making medical history.
Alex: What are you doing here?
David: Well, I just stopped by to go over some fundraising strategies.
Edmund: Can I have a word with you?
David: Sure.
Edmund: Mateo, those papers, they're in the study. It's mostly boilerplate, and I've marked where you have to sign. If you have any questions, we can go over it later, ok?
Mateo: Ok. Yep.
Edmund: Great.
Mateo: Sure. Excuse me.

Rae: Yes. Alex, when David walked in, why did you react that way?
Alex: I don't know. He startled me.
Rae: Alex --
Alex: He just -- it was like I'm having pre-party jitters.
Rae: I know you're doing your very best to stay in control, but you know what? It's starting to wear you down. You've got to confront whatever it is that's troubling you.
Alex: It's nothing.
Rae: Ignoring it will only make it worse. Trying to keep in check feelings, it could backfire on you. Come on, talk to me. What is it?
Alex: It's really nothing. Then I saw him standing there, and it was like it was --
Rae: Like what?
Alex: I don't know. It was like he was someone else and we were somewhere else, and I was afraid.
Rae: Go on.
Alex: I was really afraid. Then it passed.
Rae: Are you going to be all right for tonight?
Alex: I don't know. Yes.

David: You saw it, didn't you? The way she stared at me when I came in the door, how she was trembling, Edmund. She was covering, but she was in a state of panic, or close to it. I'm telling you that these incidents have been happening too much.
Edmund: Look, she is stressed to the max, and it's completely understandable. Look, David, the last thing she wants to do right now is go to a party, plaster a smile on her face, when really all she wants to do is mourn her dead husband. Now, can you understand that and be sympathetic?
David: Sympathetic?
Edmund: Yeah.
David: I've tried, believe me.
Edmund: Well, try harder. Just keep your distance. Don't set her off intentionally or otherwise, ok?
David: Keep my distance? Edmund: Yeah.
David: At a fundraiser that we're co-sponsoring? Yeah, that should fix everything.

Adrian: You know, Mata Hari used her brain and her body to get what she wanted -- war secrets from the Germans, the French, and the Americans.
Tina: It's amazing. Making men fall in love with you so hard they'd give up anything, even war secrets.
Adrian: Yeah, well, let's not forget she landed in front of the firing squad.
Tina: Oh. Ouch.
Adrian: No matter how clever she was, she didn't always get what she wanted.
Tina: You're not still talking about World War I, are you?
Adrian: Come on, you figure it out. You go figure it out. I just don't want to hear about any crazy women lurking behind the plants at the Crystal Ball while the poor guy's just trying to enjoy himself, that's all.
Tina: With his ex-wife?
Adrian: She is working, Tina.
Tina: On him. Now, I can just see it now. I'll be in this fabulous gown and he'll be all bonded out in his tux. The clock will strike midnight, the ball drops. Next thing you know, lip lock.
Adrian: Oh, we wouldn't want that, now, would we?
Tina: No, of course not.
Adrian: What are you going to do, huh? Pop out of the ball at the Crystal Ball? Flop into his arms? What are you going to do?
Tina: I just might. Do you want to watch?

Marian: Liza, tonight is going to only happen once. Please let me spend it with Stuart, and it'll help take my mind off my broken wrist.
Liza: You never told me how this happened.
Marian: Oh -- uh, well, uh -- Stuart and I were kind of, you know, um -- experiencing the New Year a little early, and I never should have read the "Kama Sutra."
Liza: Ok. That's a little bit too much information. Mother, really, we've got to keep going through with this. We just do. And then you'll have your Stuart back and I'll have my new life without Adam.
Marian: Darling, there must be some other way of doing this. I mean, your divorce is so close. Why don't you and Colby just, when you get to Monaco, stay there till your divorce is finalized? And then it won't matter if Adam goes to the ball tonight or not.
Liza: I'm -- I'm sorry. We have to keep doing this, Mother. Believe me, I am so tired of covering up for Adam's lies and his schemes and this whole charade. I think we've caused each other just as much pain as Adam has caused us. I kept thinking, "well, maybe some good will come out of all this." But I think I just hoped for too much.
Marian: Oh, darling, good did come out of all this because you've got Colby. Oh, Liza, I'm sorry. I've just been selfish. You know, sometimes I just lose sight. Of course, Stuart can be Adam tonight for a very good cause -- for Colby.
Liza: Thanks, Mom.
Marian: Oh, my gosh. How am I not going to kiss Stuart at the stroke of midnight?
Liza: Oh, no, Mother, you will not even sneak one. If anybody sees you kissing Adam, they're going to line up in Hell to buy snow cones.
Marian: Ok, I'll go tell Stuart, but he's going to be very disappointed, Liza, very disappointed.

Liza: Your reign of terror is almost over. In just a few hours, I will be free of you forever.
Adam: Our forever is just about to begin, my darling.

Man: Good afternoon.
Jake: Hi. How are you?
Edmund: Who's that?
Jake: Thanks.
Edmund: Jake?
Jake: Ed.
Edmund: Jake, come on in.
Jake: Good to see you. Edmund: You're early.
Jake: Yeah, a little early, I guess. Gillian asked me to meet her here, and I'm just -- I'm early. I'm sorry.
Edmund: Listen why don't you -- she may still be getting --
Jake: It's all right?
Edmund: You know, she's upstairs, third door on the left.
Jake: Getting dressed?
Edmund: Yeah. Jake: All right. Can I?
Edmund: Sure. Jake: All right. I'll catch you later, though. All right?
Edmund: Sure. Hey.

Hayley: Oh, hey. Thank you so much for letting us do this.
Edmund: I never see enough of you.
Hayley: Oh.
Edmund: Hello, Scott.
Scott: Hello.
Edmund: Listen, I'm glad you made it even though it took work to get you here.
Hayley: Well, I've missed you, too. Listen, if you don't mind, we're going to do some background shots before the party gets cranking.
Edmund: Absolutely. Do me one favor -- when the guests arrive, could you keep it as low-key as possible?
Scott: They won't even know we're here.
Hayley: Oh, no.
Edmund: Ok, super. Anything you need?
Hayley: No, we're all set.
Edmund: Ok. Um -- would you take a shot of the Tree of Humanity before the guests arrive and they've put their ornaments on them?
Hayley: That's a great idea. Let's do it.
Edmund: Thanks.
Hayley: Ok. Thanks. Got it?
Scott: I got it.
Edmund: See you. It's beautiful.

Stella: It certainly helps to have a woman as fine as Dr. Alex around. Edmund: Don't start, Stella.

[Knock on door]

Gillian: Come in.
Jake: You look gorgeous. Gorgeous.
Gillian: Am I slow?
Jake: No, no. I'm actually early. I thought, oh, what can it hurt if I show up a little ahead of schedule? I might see you looking like this.
Gillian: Well, you look -- ahem -- very pretty. And handsome.
Jake: Thank you. Thank you.
Gillian: And I'm glad you came. Jake: Thank you. So, did you find the perfect dress?
Gillian: Grandmama wore it the night she met love. It was grandfather's.
Jake: Yeah.
Gillian: I'll show it to you.
Jake: Gillian, actually -- I can't wait.

Stuart: Ow! It's --
Marian: Stuart, hold still. Wait. Hold still.
Stuart: It's too tight. Marian: It's perfect. It's perfect.
Stuart: No wonder Adam is so grouchy, wearing ties all the time.

Barry: Evening.
Marian: Oh, Liza, can't you tell Winifred to keep this man out of here?
Liza: Running away from home, Barry?
Barry: No. Oh, Adam, I'm glad to see you looking so festive. Thank God Marian and Liza found you. Marian: Go
d had nothing to do with it, Barry.
Stuart: [As Adam] what the heck do you want here?
Barry: Well, I -- I hate to put a damper on your evening, ladies, but I'm afraid I need to borrow Adam.
Stuart: It's New Year's Eve.
Barry: No, it's Y2K.
Stuart: I don't care what it is. It can wait until tomorrow. Tonight, I dance with my wife. Uh -- my wife.
Liza: Not in this century or the next.
Barry: But, no, we have no choice, Adam. Now, look, if we don't take preventative action tonight, the problems could be nuclear by tomorrow. Look -- I tell you what. Liza and Marian can go on ahead, and I will have my driver drop you off at the ball before the women even miss you.
Liza: We'll wait.
Barry: No -- yeah. Yeah, I -- well, I wouldn't hear of boring business keeping you beautiful belles from the ball.
Marian: No trouble, darling. We'll wait.
Stuart: No, no, no, no, Liza. I insist. Go to the party. Take Marian with you. And I'll be along later in time for the -- the toast. Yeah.

Stuart: Well, all right. Let's get down to business.
Barry: Right. You got a pen? You're going to need one. Ah, let's see. Here we go. Now, these affidavits need to be s-- no, these need to be read and signed, and these need to be signed and dated. Oh, and these statements -- oh, they need to be --
Stuart: Oh, wait, wait, this is ridiculous!
Barry: Well --
Stuart: There's nothing here urgent enough to warrant my missing the beginning of the Crystal Ball.
Barry: Adam --
Stuart: No, no. No, no, no.
Barry: Adam --
Stuart: I'm going to go enjoy myself.
Barry: No --
Stuart: You handle it.
Barry: But, Adam --
Stuart: I'm going to get my coat!
Barry: Adam!
Stuart: When I return, have your driver ready to take me to the -- the thing.
Barry: Adam, no. Nah. No.

Barry: You see? You see? You said it would all go as planned. Now what?
Adam: Don't worry. Plan B.

Eugenia: Gillian, are you decent?
Gillian: One second.
Jake: Do you want me to --
Gillian: Quick, go behind. Behind.
Gillian: Hey.
Eugenia: Hello, my darling. Would you help me with this? I just cannot get it together.
Gillian: Sure. Oh, Grandmama. You look exquisite.
Eugenia: Oh, thank you, my darling. And -- have you got it?
Gillian: Yes.
Eugenia: Yes. I know it's difficult. I had a great problem -- you look flushed.
Gillian: Oh. I was more tired than I thought, so I just took a quick catnip -- nap. Nap.
Eugenia: Nap, yes. Right. Well, don't you dawdle. I'm going down to Edmund.
Gillian: Oh, no. I'll only be a minute.
Eugenia: Well, we'll be waiting. And do tell Jake that you'd be infinitely more comfortable downstairs having an Amontillado with Edmund and me than hiding in the dressing area. Au revoir.
Gillian: Au revoir.

Jake: Ok. I guess that's my cue.
Gillian: Mm-hmm.
Jake: We'll have to finish this in the millennium.
Gillian: Or start.
Jake: Au revoir.

Hayley: Edmund, what is the Crystal Ball about?
Edmund: About the important things, Hayley -- love, charity, hope.
Hayley: What inspired you to host the event?
Edmund: Well, originally, it started as an honor to my late wife and her work in the medical field, giving hope to others. But the response, I got to tell you, was so enthusiastic and generous that we decided to make it a tradition. Now, this year, it is symbolized by the Tree of Humanity.
Hayley: It's lovely, truly.
Edmund: Thank you. Well, now, each of the guests have been given one of these ornaments as an invitation to the party. And later in the evening, they'll hang them on the tree in the spirit of helping others.
Hayley: I'm sure it will be a breathtaking event as it always is. Congratulations.
Edmund: Thank you. Cut. Print. Yo! Good job.
Hayley: You, good job.
Edmund: Well done.

Marian: Hello. How are you?
Man: Fine, thank you. Welcome.
Liza: Thank you.
Jake: Well, the Colby women. Dazzling.
Marian: You look very handsome yourself, Jake, I must say.
Jake: Thank you. Thank you.
Marian: Here you are. Thank you so much. Oh, I see Mayor Tutweiler. I want to go say hi. Be right back.
Liza: Oh, well, you've been practicing for midnight.
Jake: Hmm? What? Oh. Yes.

[Liza laughs]

Jake: Yes. Well, here I thought this year was going to be the best year of my life, what with Colby being born and everything. But I think 2000 is going to shape up pretty good, too.
Liza: I'm sure it will.
Jake: I got a beautiful daughter, the woman I love, and great family, great friends. Everything's perfect. And I have you to thank, very much. Oh. Don't add to it.

Barry: I've done a lot of things for you. I -- but not this. No. I won't murder your brother.
Adam: For crying out loud, Barry, I love Stuart. I'm not going to kill him. This is a tranquilizer.
Barry: Yeah. Why?
Adam: Do I have to fill in all the dots for you? He passes out. I go to the ball as him pretending to be me, as planned.
Barry: Yeah.
Adam: This is all you have to do, is give it to him.
Barry: Yeah, and I just know you're going to tell me how.
Adam: Yes. Please observe. One, two. It's just as simple as making a New Year's Eve toast. Just make sure you get the right glass, Barry.
Barry: Yeah.
Adam: Get it?
Barry: I got it. Adam: Good. Now, what do you have for me?
Barry: Oh -- here. The tux is in here, and a money belt with plenty of cash.
Adam: Good.

Stuart: [As Adam] Barry?

Adam: I'm out of here.

Barry: Yeah.
Stuart: Barry! Why wasn't your driver waiting for me?
Barry: Yeah, Adam --
Stuart: What's the holdup?
Barry: Well, have you forgotten? Our toast.
Stuart: A toast.
Barry: Yes.
Stuart: Um -- no, no, no, no. I -- I don't have time.
Barry: Well, what and miss our yearly tradition? Come on, Adam, please. It's always meant so much to me. We celebrate another productive year, and it -- it's a special moment.
Stuart: Well, ok. What are you trying to pull, Barry?
Barry: Well, what do you -- I don't know what you're talking about. It's just brandy. I -- I swear.
Stuart: [As Adam] obviously, you've forgotten with whom you are dealing. You tried to slip me the cheap stuff.
Barry: No.
Stuart: Hmm?
Barry: No. No, no, no. Stuart: This is the young stuff.
Barry: Oh --
Stuart: No, no, no, no, no
Barry: Fairly old.
Stuart: Ahem. Oh, I bought the old stuff, the hundred-year-old stuff.
Barry: Oh, whoa. I --
Stuart: Mmm. Oh, yeah. Ah. This is -- it's got possibilities. It's -- ha! Let's go. Wait a --

[Stuart laughs]

Stuart: Did you -- ahem! Oh, I feel a little -- festive? I feel -- I feel -- I --

[Stuart laughs]

Barry: Shh, shh, shh. Adam! Adam?
Adam: Good work, Barry. You may just have earned that bonus after all. Happy New Year, Stuart. He should be out till after midnight.
Barry: What -- what's that?
Adam: This is scientific proof that I'm Colby's biological father. The minute Liza and I have left the dance, present this to Jake Martin personally. It's time for Colby's life as a Chandler to begin.

Tina: This place could run itself. Come on. We're out.
Adrian: Yeah, it does look good, doesn't it?
Tina: Yeah.
Adrian: Yeah. Thanks for helping me out.
Tina: Any time. So are you going to help me now?
Adrian: Yes. So tell me, what's going to happen if your target doesn't respond as planned?
Tina: Oh, please. Watch and learn. I've got moves that Mata Hari never dreamed of.
Adrian: I bet you do.
Tina: Come on.

Scott: All right, just one more close-up.
Hayley: Scotty, try not to get too artsy on me, will you?
Scott: Hmm. Oh, rats. Battery's dead.
Hayley: Don't tell me.
Scott: Oh, have no fear. I've got extras. I'll be back.

Jake: My. You look sensational. Now I think I know how Alexi felt when he saw Eugenia in this gown. Mmm, mmm.
Gillian: Magic. Can you feel it?
Jake: Whenever I'm with you.

Edmund: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the third annual Crystal Ball.

[Applause]

Edmund: No, no, no, no, no. Thank you. Thank you for your generosity. I am very, very grateful. Now, this evening serves to honor the memory of Maria Santos-Grey and Dimitri Marick and what their lives stood for. And your contributions keeps their work and their spirit alive. Now, I would be honored if Dr. Alexandra Marick would join me for the first dance.

[Music plays]