PREVIOUSLY ON - - - ALL MY CHILDREN


Adam: How much longer is this going to take? My son has school tomorrow.
Miguel: We found drugs in his room. He's going to have to go in front of the judge for violation of his probation.

Leo: I'm just going to finish packing up my things and I'm going to get out.
Laura: Before you have to admit what you did to me? You made my life a living hell.

Greenlee: You said you don't want me, and I totally respect that. There's one little problem -- I know you don't mean it.

TODAY'S - - - ALL MY CHILDREN


Val: Ahem.
Greenlee: Don't give me attitude, Val. I'm on a mission.
Val: You -- you --
Greenlee: Me, what?
Val: You can't be here.
Greenlee: Like hell. Where's my computer. You people waste no time tidying up here, huh?
Val: You so can't do this.
Greenlee: Yeah, I so can. Where's my computer?
Val: Reallocated -- to a real employee of the company.
Greenlee: Look, Mr. Happy, you called me.
Val: Yes, about one question on one account. No one said you could come back here and do whatever it is you're doing.
Greenlee: The Lacey meeting is today, no?
Val: And?
Greenlee: I worked my tail off on that campaign. We both know I'm the only person in this building who can run that meeting while La Kane is behind bars.
Val: Erica is not behind bars, Greenlee.
Greenlee: Well, she ain't here, Bucko. Who's going to take that meeting with the Lacey group, you?
Val: I would never assume --
Greenlee: Well, someone has to or it's tanking before it wakes up.
Val: Greenlee, I have spent all morning on the phones trying to postpone that meeting.
Greenlee: I have an idea -- let me run the meeting and you go polish the queen bee's atomizers.
Val: You little --
Greenlee: Savior. That's what you were going to call me, right, Val? Savior? You know and I know that we'll lose that account if we don't act on it. You need me. Enchantment needs me. Erica needs me.
Val: You need a tranquilizer.
Greenlee: No, what I need is my computer and I know just the man to help me out. Oh -- call off that meeting, Honey Bun, and I'll scalp you.

Brooke: So, anyway, I -- I found myself staying on point, you know, when I was talking to editorial about the gun control article, but believe me, Edmund, the way I felt was --
Edmund: Brooke?
Brooke: What? I was talking.
Edmund: I know.
Brooke: Ahem.
Edmund: About work.
Brooke: Yeah. So what's wrong with that?
Edmund: Nothing -- unless it's a deflection about what you're really thinking about.
Brooke: Which is what?
Edmund: Come on. How's Laura?
Brooke: Laura's fine. You know, it was an isolated episode with her heart and then they sent her home yesterday.
Edmund: That's good news.
Brooke: Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, Mike in processing then gets on me about the scheduling, so I --
Edmund: How is Laura otherwise?
Brooke: "How is Laura otherwise?" You mean you'd like a psychological profile on her, Edmund?
Edmund: Brooke, why are you being like this?
Brooke: Because I haven't decided what to do yet. And I am in no mood to hear your theories about my daughter's mental health over coffee, ok?
Leo: Maybe you should get in the mood.
Brooke: Leo, don't even start with me on anything.
Leo: Somebody has to. And if it's not going to be Edmund, it's going to be me. Laura is a wreck and she has to get some help.

Laura: Well, the price really isn't a problem. That's right. Oh, today would be great. Yeah, my husband isn't really expecting any surprises today. I will. Thank you.

[Knock on door]

Laura: Leo isn't here.
Vanessa: I'm well aware of that, Dear. It's one of the reasons I'm here.
Laura: I don't know what you want.
Vanessa: I want to talk to you about my son.
Laura: Why?
Vanessa: Well, you owe him a substantial debt that you have to make right by him.
Laura: Debt?
Vanessa: Oh, indeed. You have to repay him for everything you've put him through. And I do mean pay.

Jake: Just like the good doctors that we are -- a cholesterol-free breakfast.
Patricia: Uh-huh.
Jake: What? What's with the skepticism? Is it me? Or is it my egg white omelet?
Patricia: Honey, you could've flown to Tahiti this morning and picked me papayas, and I'd still be thinking about our little interruption last night.
Jake: Hmm, hmm, interruption. Well, the only thing that I recall is you and me and --
Patricia: Jake --
Jake: All right, well, that was the only thing worth remembering. Let's put it that way.
Patricia: She is pretty memorable, despite the diminutive stature.
Jake: Pat, some people who are memorable fall into the category of ancient history.
Patricia: That would be nice. I don't buy it, but that would be nice.
Jake: Well, that sounds like a challenge. Looks like I'm going to have to convince you.
[Pounding on door]
Jake: I didn't hear anything.
Patricia: The building next door heard that, Jake.
[Pounding]
Patricia: Please, just go get it.
Jake: Don't move an inch.

Greenlee: I need you.
[Pounding]

Dixie: Have you heard anything from the police?
Adam: No, nothing.
Dixie: I don't think I slept five minutes last night.
Adam: That would make two of us.
J.R.: If you guys would just chill out, ok? I mean, come on, a girl was murdered. They're not going to come down on me about one little bag of pot.
Adam: Son, you're in deep trouble. I suggest you lose the attitude.
J.R.: I'm just saying I told the cops everything. You know, I mean, they're a little bugged with me, but the two of you guys losing sleep over this? That's dumb.
Dixie: We're dumb? You violated your probation and we're dumb?
J.R.: I'm saying it's so not a big deal.
Adam: You -- young man, you're going to have to go back to court no matter what happens with this murder investigation. And I am hard-pressed to understand how you could do anything so utterly stupid!
J.R.: Here's a thought -- maybe I didn't sweat it because I knew Daddy could just sleep with another judge to get me off if it got ugly. How about that?
Adam: You ungrateful brat. I made that decision. I sabotaged my marriage to save your irresponsible behind. I did what I did to salvage your future. And now it seems to me that you want nothing more than to squander that future. Am I right?
J.R.: No, it's just --
Dixie: Ok, ok, ok. Let's all just calm down, ok? Let's just calm down, Adam, all right? He didn't mean it. He knows he's out of line. He doesn't want to go to jail any more than we want him to go to jail, right? And what about Barry? Where's Barry? Aren't we supposed to meet him here?
Adam: Barry is not going to be here today.
Dixie: What? You don't want your attorney here because you've got something illegal planned, is that it?
Adam: No, Dixie, I'm not --
Dixie: Because if it is, I want you to know that I'm 100% behind it, whatever it is, if it'll keep him safe. I'll go along with anything if it'll work.
J.R.: Mom, are you for real? I mean, come on --
Dixie: I'm for real about keeping you out of jail! So what's the plan?
Adam: I'm sorry to disappoint both of you, but I don't plan to pay anybody off or pull any strings. If you want to dig yourself out of this hole, then do it yourself.

Brooke: This is ridiculous. I have no intention of discussing anything with you, Leo.
Leo: Just, please, hear me out. You know that I don't want to see Laura hurting. I saw her last night at the condo. I went back to pick up some of my things and she came in. And even though she said that she was at peace with everything that happened, she totally lashed out on me and Greenlee again.
Brooke: Stop right there.
Leo: What?
Brooke: You went to the condo with Greenlee?
Leo: Yeah.
Brooke: Oh. I get it. My daughter is supposed to be perfect. Is that it? If she has any feelings, she certainly shouldn't show them. Meanwhile, you're there in her apartment getting your things together with your new girlfriend? And my daughter is supposed to be happy about it? Is that what you're saying?
Leo: I know what you're thinking, Brooke.
Brooke: Oh, Leo, you don't. Really, you don't.
Edmund: Just let him finish, Brooke.
Leo: Ok, look, look. Maybe it wasn't such a great idea to bring Greenlee there last night.
Brooke: Oh, well, isn't that sensitive of you to realize that.
Leo: But she totally overreacted again, Brooke. And then she tried to make me feel guilty, but I didn't because I'm onto her little game now.
Brooke: Her game?
Leo: Yes, she played me all through that marriage. Now she's playing you.
Brooke: You stop right there.
Leo: No, no, just listen -- I'm telling you this because I want you to help your daughter. She really needs help, and I can't give it to her anymore.
Brooke: Well, leaving her at the altar didn't help her.
Leo: Well -- I found this last night, when I was packing up my stuff. Look at this.
Brooke: It's the letter that you wrote to Laura when you were trying to leave her the first time.
Leo: Yeah. Yeah, look at it. It's all taped together. That's not what I wrote. I tore that up and I threw it in the trash hoping she'd never see it. She obviously dug it out of the trash and -- I don't know, she --
Brooke: Wait, wait, wait --
Leo: And she put it together and then she lied about it. She believed that I was leaving her for Greenlee. And she never said anything about it. Now, if she can't be honest with herself about something like that, Brooke, how far do you think she'd go to jeopardize her own health?
Brooke: What do you mean?
Leo: Well, what about all the times she lost her meds or forgot and skipped a dose and then I came running?
Brooke: Is that all?
Leo: Yeah, I just wanted you to know why I came here -- that I'm worried about her health. And I'm going to pay you back everything that I owe you. That wasn't just me blowing smoke. All right. Look, I need to move on. Laura needs to move on. So do you, Brooke.

Brooke: Not a word. I mean it.

Laura: Are you actually here to negotiate? Do you remember what your son did to me?
Vanessa: Well, after the weeks of torture you put him through, who could blame him?
Laura: Look, didn't your niece just get murdered last night? Don't you have something better to do, like maybe bilk your sister in her time of grief?
Vanessa: Oh, my, my. Where did that viciousness come from? Did you learn that while living like a dog on the streets of New York?
Laura: You don't know anything about me or what I had to live through to get here.
Vanessa: Get where, exactly?
Laura: Look, I know you think because my mother is rich that you and your stinking son are entitled to my money.
Vanessa: Oh, you know something? Any divorce attorney would agree that Leo sacrificed hugely in order to put up with someone as neurotic and controlling as you have been. No, I -- you know, I think that you and mommy will probably find it very cost-effective in the end. You know, no attorneys' fees, no larger settlement. Just one nice, big, fat check made out to "cash" and all will be right with the world.
Laura: Do you know what Leo would think if he knew you were here?
Vanessa: Yes. Well, my son has become somewhat blinded since moving to Pine Valley. He's kind of lost that killer instinct. But I'm the mother who raised him, so I don't mind filling in in a pinch.
Laura: I can ruin you and your reputation, what's left of it.
Vanessa: Oh, you can? How?
Laura: My mother is a publisher of a national magazine.
Vanessa: Oh, yes, indeed. I'm sure she's just dying to get more bad press.
Laura: Look --
Vanessa: No, no, no. I know that you hate bad press every bit as much as your mother, and, well, you know, I'm sure you both saw "America's Most Humiliating Videos" the other night. I mean, you did look like a drowned rat, didn't you? You gave new meaning to the whole thing.
Laura: No, you know, it makes sense to me that you would be a fan of something so ludicrous and low.
Vanessa: Fan? Oh, no, no, dear. Contributor. They're actually talking about making me a roving humiliation reporter at-large.
Laura: What? Vanessa: Well, w
ho do you think sent in that video? Oh, you thought it was Greenlee. Oh, no, no, no, Dear. I'm much more vindictive than she is.

Greenlee: Jake!
Patricia: You have got to be kidding me with this.
Jake, Greenlee is not going away.
Jake: Yep.
[Pounding on door]
Greenlee: Jake, did you hear me? I need you.
Patricia: You heard the girl.
Greenlee: This is business. I swear!
Jake: So are you on duty today?
[Pounding]
Patricia: Jake, if this is for my benefit, you can just let her in because I really don't care --
Greenlee: Jake Martin, the future of cosmetics is at stake here!
Patricia: Do you want to be responsible for that?
Greenlee: Ugh!
[Pounding]
Patricia: Just let Greenlee in. You know you want to.
Jake: Pat, she's done it already and I'm not going to let her do it twice in 24 hours. That's it.
Patricia: Fine. Have your pride.
[Pounding]
[Pat opens the door]
Patricia: Yes? I am still here.
Greenlee: Sorry to barge in.
Patricia: Not much.
Greenlee: Whatever. Jake --
Patricia: Ok. Well, I am going to go and take a shower.
Jake: Pat, you know, um -- Patricia: No, no, no. You just try to save the cosmetics industry before I get back, ok?

Greenlee: Your shirt looks better on me, you know.
Jake: You got six seconds.
Greenlee: Why six?
Jake: Greenlee --
Greenlee: Ok, ok, ok. When you were packing up my stuff and deciding you wanted Florence Nightingale back there to pick up where I left off --
Jake: Florence Nightingale is a nurse. Pat is a physician.
Greenlee: And I'm Mary Queen of Scots. Jake, did you notice any of my backup disks while you were cleaning up, or what?
Jake: That's what this is about? Your disk? It's up in a box in your apartment.
Greenlee: No, I already looked through those and I can't find the one I want. I used to work on my laptop on this couch a lot and maybe I dropped it while I was here.
Jake: Well, you know, I would've found it, Greenlee. It's not here.
Greenlee: It had my best ideas on it.
Jake: You know what? You are so backed up on your stuff --
Greenlee: Are you really going to lecture me right now in a time of crisis? Are you?
Jake: I don't even believe this. You know, you are absolutely the most unorganized, irresponsible --
Greenlee: Oh, what, are you going to type that in your database so you don't forget?
Jake: No, no. I put your stuff in here.
Greenlee: What are you talking about? That's your laptop.
Jake: I know it's my laptop, Greenlee. All right, I just -- I put all your stuff in here. Don't worry about it.
Greenlee: You did what? Why?
Jake: Because I was trying to save the world from -- from you, the cosmetics industry.
Greenlee: You --
Jake: Hey, what -- hang on. What is this?
Greenlee: Are absolutely the most perfect man in the world.
Jake: I'm not perfect. No one is. Here's your stuff. Greenlee --
Greenlee: I don't want to go, Jake. I really want you to understand --
Jake: Understand what? What is it that you want me to understand? That you think I'm great? That I do everything that you need? That good old Jake is always there for you? Yet you say yes to Leo when he proposes to you.
Greenlee: Like you gave me an option?
Jake: Note to Greenlee -- don't get married and marry someone just because there's nothing better on the horizon.
Greenlee: I came to see you.
Jake: Yeah. Good. And I gave you what you wanted.
Greenlee: And you wasted no time in hooking up with Dr. Drawbridge again.
Jake: Her name is Trowbridge, all right? And she is real. She is there for me. And she's not weighing out her options about me.
Greenlee: I didn't go right to bed with Leo, you know, when he came back to me. But you, Mr. Hot Pants all of a sudden. What, did I do that to you? Did I train you to get all hot and bothered so you go get it any way you could?
Jake: First off, you didn't train me. And you say another word, I'm going to take you out of here on my shoulder and leave you in the lobby, I swear to God.
Greenlee: You're impossible.
Jake: Yeah? Well, perfectly impossible, apparently. Of course that never seemed to do me any good around here.
Greenlee: You're not exactly fighting over me.
Jake: Yeah? Well, you're not exactly giving me any reason to fight. You come in here with your lamest excuse ever about your files. What was it, Greenlee? Did you just want to see if Pat actually spent the night?
Greenlee: You know what, Mr. Hotshot? You suck.
Jake: Yeah? Thanks.
Greenlee: And this perfection thing in men is way overrated. I mean, who could stand all that for very long? Look at you. You even made her one of those cardboard like egg white omelet things. Blech! Never trust a woman who doesn't want pancakes or sausage after a night of lovemaking. Unless that didn't happen and she's not so hungry after --
Jake: Yeah, just keep right on fooling yourself, Greenlee. Listen, why don't you run along. It's time for you to go out and save the world from blotchy lipstick. I'm going to take Pat and go to the hospital.
Greenlee: Oh, so now you're better than me?
Jake: Jeez. You know what? Just go.
Greenlee: You go to hell.
Jake: Greenlee, take your disk.
Greenlee: Ugh!

J.R.: Ok, look. I know I gave you attitude. I'm sorry about that. But I really need you to help me out with this.
Adam: No. No, not this time. Liza, you're part of this family. Please, come on in. My son thinks that he can do whatever he wants and I'll still give him a free ride.
Dixie: Ahem. Adam, I admire the tough-love approach. I do. And I agree that J.R. needs a whole new approach to discipline from me and you. But what if he gets charged as accessory to murder or something?
J.R.: What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Adam: That means you're going to be in a very difficult situation without me able to bail you out. That's what it means. Now, maybe this will help.
Dixie: What's this? "Dr. Ezekial McMillan, psychiatrist"?
Adam: Yes. We should've put him in therapy after the original incident. Hmm? But I -- it was my mistake. I forbade it. I was wrong.
J.R.: I went to see my probation officer, like, every week, Dad.
Adam: Yeah, I know, I know, but that's not the same thing. If you would had been in therapy then, we wouldn't be in this mess now. David Hayward would be in prison where he belongs, and Liza and I wouldn't have had to go through -- things would've played out quite differently, wouldn't they?
Dixie: Adam, can I -- could I chat with Liza alone for a minute?
Adam: Of course. J.R.?
J.R.: This whole thing sucks.
Adam: You can say that again.

Dixie: Liza, I -- I'm really, really sorry to hear about the loss of your baby.
Liza: Thank you.
Dixie: Yeah. And I know my timing sucks, as J.R. would say, but I have no choice.
Liza: About what?
Dixie: I need to call in my marker with you. Do you remember when I helped you when you wanted to keep your pregnancy a secret from Adam? You said you owed me one.
Liza: Yes, I did. But I don't know what you're getting at.
Dixie: Well, Adam is suddenly acting like Mike Brady teaching Greg a lesson. And he's doing it for you.
Liza: Dixie --
Dixie: You have to let Adam do what he does best. If he doesn't pull the strings he has to keep J.R. out of jail, I could lose my son. And let me tell you something, I won't have that.

Greenlee: Val, get out.
Val: Greenlee, I don't think Erica killed that girl, but I wouldn't put it past her to off you if she finds out what you're trying to do here while she's in the middle of a personal crisis!
Greenlee: She'll thank me forever if I pull this off. Don't be a weenie, ok? Just go and let me handle this.
Val: You are so impossible.
Greenlee: Yeah. So they tell me.
Greenlee: Val, please.

Greenlee: What the heck?
Leo: This is a log for a fire.
Greenlee: Ok.
Leo: In a fireplace.
Greenlee: Got it.
Leo: And this is for you to wear next to that fire and just look perfect.
Greenlee: I like this. Very clever.
Leo: We leave now.
Greenlee: Huh?
Leo: I made a reservation at a place called The Inn at Cedar Lake. Nice ring, huh?
Greenlee: Leo --
Leo: No, no, no. No worries, no worries. I called the hospital and your father's condition has been upgraded to good, which is good. All right? And Bianca is going to be there for a couple more days, so I figured that this is the perfect chance for us to just get away before we have to deal with our other problems.
Greenlee: Oh. Leo, this is more than sweet, but I am in the middle of a crisis here.
Leo: Greenlee, you've been working all night.
Greenlee: I know and I am so not done.
Leo: Erica is going to be more than happy that you saved her butt. You don't need to prove a point by working 48 hours straight.
Greenlee: I do. You don't get it.
Leo: Hmm. I get it. I get you. I want you. Come on, let's go play hooky. We'll hooky like we've never hookied before.

Liza: You're throwing me. You want me to let Adam scheme and lie to help you save your son.
Dixie: Well, if your daughter was in J.R.'S shoes, wouldn't you do the same thing?
Liza: Dixie --
Dixie: My son is being questioned about a murder. A murder of a teenage girl that he was in bed with just a few moments before she was killed.
Liza: Maybe that's why J.R. should get some help.
Dixie: He needs help to stay out of jail. I'll worry about the rest when I stop panicking about him being in a jail cell for Christmas.
Liza: I know that you're upset that Tad -- you and Tad are splitting and --
Dixie: No, Tad and I are splitting up because -- everybody else bends the rules but me. I can't be with him because of that, but I'm not going to lose my son because of it.
Liza: I don't think the two things are in the same category.
Dixie: Well, I do. I seem to sit around and wait for everybody else to do what's right. Well, guess what -- that's just not working for me anymore. Adam risked losing you to save J.R., and I need him to risk losing you again, and you have to give him permission to do it.

J.R.: You're supposed to help me.
Adam: No, son, not this time. Don't try to play the victim with me and don't try to make me the bad guy. You've been lying to us. > J.R.: I told the truth. Adam: No, you got caught. You swore you were off drugs.
J.R.: Oh, it was just a little weed, Dad.
Adam: There's no such thing as "a little weed, Dad," when you're on probation! Don't even try that with me.
J.R.: I smoked a joint with a girl, like you've never done that before.
Adam: I have never smoked a joint with a girl who turned up dead an hour later. Let me ask you something. What if you were still in bed with Frankie Stone when whoever it was that wanted her dead showed up? Hmm? Were you just a little high, son? Would you have been able to protect her? Or yourself? I don't think so.
J.R.: Ok, you're right. I'm sorry. I won't smoke any more dope, ok? I promise.
Adam: I wish your word was still enough, Son.
J.R.: Then, what do you want from me?
Adam: You know what I want.
J.R.: Oh. Right. I go see some stupid shrink and I punch a pillow and call it Daddy or Mommy, is that it?
Adam: You have all the answers, right?
J.R.: It's so hypocritical and so stupid.
Adam: For you?
J.R.: For you! You've gotten away with everything your whole life.
Adam: Yeah, you're right. I have. And I' tell you something -- I will be damned if I'll let you grow up to be anything like me. Are we clear?
J.R.: About what?
Adam: About this being your last chance.

Brooke: I'll take care of this.
Edmund: Talk to me. Excuse me.
Brooke: What am I supposed to talk to you about? The fact that you -- you were right? That you knew Laura was lying and that she probably did go to Greenlee's apartment to confront her? Fine, all right? She's human. And maybe she's spinning out a little because -- because she's hurt.
Edmund: Maybe she's spinning out because she's in trouble.
Brooke: I know that she's in trouble, damn it.
Edmund: Ok, so does Leo, ok? So does Leo. That's why he came here. Look, Laura's not going to get help because Leo says so, but maybe if you suggest it --
Brooke: Fine. Fine. You're right and I'm wrong and I waited too long.
Edmund: Don't do this --
Brooke: And I have to do this by myself.
Edmund: Let me come with you.
Brooke: No, no, no. No way. All right?

Laura: I could sue you for sending that tape in and you know it.
Vanessa: Oh, you don't want to do that. It'd just bring on more bad press.
Laura: Fine. You want to threaten me with more public humiliation? Here's the thing, Lady. Once it happens, it's lost all impact. I'm immune to it now. So knock yourself out. Alert the media.
Vanessa: Oh -- oh, Dear, you don't want to dare me because you have no idea who you're dealing with.
Laura: I know I'm dealing with a woman whose own family pretends not to know her, a woman whose two sons think of her as a laughingstock and whose husband won't even write her in his will. Really? You think I have something to be worried about? You're the town joke, Vanessa.
Vanessa: Little girl, I am not a joke. And you -- you have no idea what I am capable of. So if you have any brains left in that addled little head of yours, you never confront me again this way because I am one woman you never want as an enemy. Ever.
Vanessa: Ooh.
Vanessa: Ciao.

Greenlee: Leo -- I -- I can't go away with you to that inn, not today.
Leo: Yes. Yes, you can.
Greenlee: No, Honey --
Leo: Come on.
Greenlee: Honey, Honey, listen to me. Listen to me. Save the log, fold up that slinky thing and rain check it. Ok? I've got a major meeting to run and my whole future is riding on it. It is make or break with me career wise with Erica.
Leo: What's the difference?
Greenlee: Come again?
Leo: What do you care what Erica thinks about you?
Greenlee: Leo, I want this job.
Leo: You have money. You don't need the job. And if you want a job, you can get one for a boss who doesn't test you every three seconds. Come on.
Greenlee: This is the job I love, Leo.
Leo: Why?
Greenlee: Because it makes me feel good about myself. And I'm great at it. And I've been around some people lately who get a real charge out of doing something other than shopping or gossiping.
Leo: So you're just going to bend to Erica's rules?
Greenlee: For a while, just to get back in again. Then she'll give me my freedom again.
Leo: Greenlee. I wasted a lot of time following rules. I just want to break a few. I want to -- I want to carpe a whole lot of diems, if you know what I'm saying. So come on, please? Come on. Just let me make it all up to you, please? Starting right now? Please, come on.
Greenlee: You are --
Leo: Come on --
Greenlee: So tempting me, but I want this gig.
Leo: I need a job, too. Of course I have to pay Brooke back, but we can do this tomorrow, can't we? Come on.
Greenlee: Wait.
Leo: What?
Greenlee: That's it.
Leo: What is?
Greenlee: Baby, you're hired.

Adam: Well, J.R. has agreed to begin therapy because he has no choice.
Dixie: Well, I think that it's important. You're still using drugs.
J.R.: Ok, fine.
Dixie: What about the legal angle?
Adam: Well, I think the best thing would be for the judge to see J.R.'S willingness to accept help. I think we should get him a therapy session immediately so Zeke McMillan can start telling the judge what wonderful progress our son is making. Agreed?
Dixie: Agreed. J.R.?
J.R.: Sure. I get it, whatever. Come on, Mom. I got to go so I can have my inner child run around the room.
Dixie: I hope you never have to go through this with Colby.

Adam: Well, I'm not sure any of this is going to do any good, but that's all we could do, really.
Liza: As long as you didn't do it for me.
Adam: What?
Liza: That tough-love routine with J.R. Better have been for him and not for me. I mean it.

Leo: Greenlee, come on.
Greenlee: We'd be working side by side. Wouldn't that be awesome?
Leo: I don't know anything about cosmetics except that I like the way they look on pretty women, period.
Greenlee: So you know what looks good on me, is that it?
Leo: Greenlee, you would look good in a bag.
Greenlee: You have taste. We need a man with taste here. Val drives me nuts with his ideas about what's hot and what isn't. I mean, Val's a great guy and everything, but he's not an idea man.
Leo: Like me.
Greenlee: Exactly like you.
Leo: Ok, can I make one little point?
Greenlee: Ok.
Leo: You don't have any authority here. You can't hire me any easier than I can fire you.
Greenlee: Minutia. And Erica loves you.
Leo: Maybe, but she's not going to go for this.
Greenlee: Not until we prove to her how invaluable you are. I'll pay you.
Leo: What?
Greenlee: From my trust fund.
Leo: No. No, no, no. Never again.

Patricia: "Don't dis the kiss"? Is the free world safe from boring lipstick now? Don't do that for me.
Jake: No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I told Greenlee that it was over, but she doesn't seem to accept it.
Patricia: She's not accepting it because it isn't over. Not for you.
Jake: Look, look, she's already chose someone else, Pat, you know? And why she's hovering around me, I really don't know. Patricia: Really? Well, Honey, you need a wake-up call.
Jake: I'm wide awake.
Patricia: Not about Greenlee Smythe, but maybe this will help.
[Pat pours a glass of milk over Jake's head]
Patricia: Wake up, Jake. You want Greenlee back, and you're the only one in this room who doesn't know it.

Brooke: Laura? Laura, Honey, are you here? The -- are you all right? The door was open. My God. It's not just Leo's stuff that's gone, it's Laura's, too. Where did she go?

Patricia: I know you didn't mean this because I've known you since my residency. But unintentional or intentional, using stinks.
Jake: I'm not using you.
Patricia: You didn't plan to, no, but you are and you did and it worked for you. You push her away, and she wants you more. It's an old formula, tried and true.
Jake: I swear to you, I would never do anything to hurt you.
Patricia: I believe you, ok? But it doesn't change the facts, Jake. You want Greenlee so badly that you can't stand it. And frankly, she wants you, too. Question is, which one of you is going to give into your pride, huh? Who blinks first?

Leo: I told you I want nothing to do with your family -- I can't even believe that you're suggesting that --
Greenlee: A lot has happened since then. Besides, I believe in you now.
Leo: Greenlee, I've spent a lot of years living off other people's money, but I'm not going to do it anymore. I mean it.
Greenlee: Yeah, but if you work here, you --
Leo: Yeah, I'm not going to -- yeah, I need a job, but you're not going to pay me for it. Forget it.

[Intercom buzzes]

Greenlee: Val, please, I'm busy.
Val: Greenlee, I couldn't postpone the meeting --

[Greenlee pretends she is talking to Erica]
Greenlee: She does? Put her on.
Val: What?
Greenlee: Erica, hi.
Val: What are you doing?
Greenlee: Oh, how's everything in court? Great, great. Oh, thank you. Thank you for your trust. You have no idea what that means to me.
Val: Greenlee --
Greenlee: Well, actually, I have this wonderful idea that I want to run by you.
Leo: No, no, no, no, no!
Greenlee: Yeah, I was thinking about hiring Leo so that he could help with this Lacey's meeting? Great! Great. I knew you would go for it. Yes, yes, I will tell him that. Thanks again, Erica. Good-bye.

Greenlee: Well, I'm in, you're in, and she said she'll talk dollars to you when she gets out of jail. Voila.
Leo: Greenlee, I know almost as much about mascara as I did about publishing.
Greenlee: You'll learn from me, and I am way good. Leo, most couples couldn't be together 24/7, but we are different. We are great. And we are going to kick some cosmetic butt, I swear.
Leo: Here we go.
Greenlee: Here we go.

ON THE NEXT - - - ALL MY CHILDREN

David: Just take this and keep your whining to yourself.

Greenlee: Jake wouldn't think twice about questioning why my career is so important to me.

J.R.: I know this is going to hurt you really --
Bianca: J.R., what -- what --
J.R.: That guy you saw Frankie in bed with -- that was me, Bianca.