Liza: Can I just meet you at the office in half an hour? Thanks.
Adam: Who are you meeting in half an hour? Ah. None of my business.
Liza: Adam --
Adam: No, no. No, none of my business. I won't ask again. I'm just -- I'm just concerned about you. You have a very weighty problem on your shoulders.
Liza: Well, this custody suit just isn't going to happen, that's all.
Adam: Well, you have another solution?
Liza: No. Jake's just going to drop it. It's never going to get to court. And I'll make it happen. What?
Adam: Well, if anybody can do it, you can. But you're not alone, Liza. Please let me help you.

Gillian: I'm happy. I'm getting married!
Eugenia: Yes, and just in a few days. It's scandalous. Never would have happened in my day.
Gillian: I know you would have like a longer engagement --
Eugenia: No, no, no. I like whatever makes you happy.
Gillian: It's just an amazing feeling to think that I can do something for Jake. You know, after all these weeks of keeping this secret.
Eugenia: Oh, please, please. Don't even think of that.
Gillian: You're right. If he's meant to find out, he will.
Eugenia: He will.
Gillian: It's not up to me to break his heart. And in the meantime, I'm just going to --

Stella: There is a flower delivery for Miss Gillian.

Gillian: Oh, I -- I didn't --
Stella: Should I send the man away?
Gillian: No! No. No. Oh, it's Oceania roses. They're my favorites! But --
Jake: Happy countdown to your wedding day.
Gillian: Oh, Jake. How did you know that I love them?
Jake: A certain duchess told me.
Eugenia: Oh, but one or two dozen would have been sufficient.
Jake: Uh-uh. Not for my bride.
Gillian: Oh. They're beautiful. Well, would you like a sandwich? We're --
Jake: You guys love these grass sandwiches, don't you?
Eugenia: Yes.
Jake: I' have a quick bite, sure.
Gillian: I could put some bacon --
Jake: No, no. I like these straight up. So have you -- oh, you're going to feed them to me, huh? Have you put any thought as to where we're going to live after we're married? Hmm?
Gillian: No.
Jake: Like a freshly mowed lawn. I was thinking we could build.
Gillian: Build our own house?
Jake: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Why not?
Gillian: Jake, that's very expensive.
Jake: I've been saving my pennies.
Eugenia: Darling, you are going to marry a man with a brilliant future, so cost shouldn't be a concern of yours with your first home.
Jake: She's right.
Gillian: Ok. All right.
Eugenia: All right. And in the meantime, you could live here. It's lovely to have a baby here.
Gillian: Oh, no. No. We couldn't do that.
Eugenia: Why couldn't you? Oh, Edmund wouldn't mind. He didn't mind when you and Ryan li-- oh, dear. I'll eat my sandwich.
Jake: Oh, Eugenia, that's fine. No, I don't think Myrtle will let us move out if we're building a house. What's wrong? I know that you and Ryan lived here after you were married.
Gillian: No. No, no, no. That's got nothing to do with that.
Jake: Was it the talk you had with him? You thinking about his visit here last night?
Gillian: No, Jake, that hasn't even crossed my mind. I'm just thinking about our life together.

Ryan: Hi, Opal.
Opal: Oh, hi, sugar. I'll be right with you.
Ryan: Ok, I'm early. Take your time.
Opal: Okey-dokey.

Becca: So are you going to be doing something with the Glamorama?
Ryan: Yeah. Yeah.
Becca: It's good. I wanted to ask you -- what happened after I left you last night at the park?

[Ryan remembers…..]

Gillian: You come here almost a year after we got our divorce, and you tell me that you want to try again? What am I supposed to do, just drop my whole life and fall into your arms? Do you have any idea what you're asking me to do?
Ryan: Yes. I'm asking you to give it some thought.
Gillian: You're asking me to choose.
Ryan: You don't have to decide right now, Gillian.
Gillian: What if I don't want to decide? Ryan, this isn't just about me. It's about Jake and Colby, a little baby.
Ryan: What was I supposed to do, Gillian, wait until you were married to tell you how I feel about you?
Gillian: And you telling me these things is supposed to make a difference?
Ryan: Well, doesn't it? Don't you have any easier questions?

Opal: So I have been thinking about your idea all morning long, and you've absolutely sold me.
Ryan: Well, that's because it's a brilliant idea.
Opal: I think it is, yeah. A Glamorama infomercial. I love it. Don't you love it?
Becca I love it. Here, I'll let you guys talk about it.
Ryan: All right.
Opal: Okey-dokey. So anyway, what kind of airtime did you think you'd have available for our infomercial?
Ryan: The best possible airtime -- late Saturday night, early Sunday morning.
Opal: All the dateless gals are sitting home in front of the TV eating rocky road. They are just going to be primed for a pitch on a makeover, aren't they?
Ryan: That is exactly what I was thinking, Opal. We are going to make this thing work.
Opal: I know we are. Come on, let's iron out the wrinkles over some cappuccinos.
Ryan: All right, sounds good to me.
Opal: Sit yourself down.

Leo: Hey, Becca. Just wanted to see how you were holding up after our little adventure last night at the Pine Cone Motel.
Becca: Me? You're the one that got wounded last night. How's your hand? Does it hurt much?
Leo: No, not really. But I got some very bad news.
Becca: What?
Leo: The doctors told me that I may never play violin again.
Becca: Would you stop being so flip about this? What you did last night was amazing. You and I both know what would have happened to Greenlee if you hadn't have stepped in.

David: I'm sorry, Palmer, I'm busy. You're going to have to make an appointment.
Palmer: I made an appointment. You, the Andrassy foundation.
David: Well, not completely. But I do owe you. So what's up?
Palmer: Your behavior the other evening at dinner for the Greenlee's' -- it was abominable. Your mother --
David: My mother and I already discussed this last night. You should try talking to her.
Palmer: Your mother was so distraught last night she could hardly talk about anything. I mean, she is in a state about Leo. What is this about a switchblade?
David: Mm-hmm. Well, if you want the details, you're going to have to discuss it with Leo.
Palmer: I don't care about the details. One thing is clear in my mind. It is time for Leo to leave town.
David: Well, that's a little extreme, don't you think? From what I understand, Leo showed a rare moment of selflessness last night. He came to the aid of a young lady in distress.
Palmer: Well, that's very noble of him, I'm sure. But I cannot have Cortlandt Electronics and switchblades mingled in the public's imagination. The boy works for me.
David: Hmm. Well, why don't you ship him off to some remote branch. Don't you have an office in Uruguay or something?
Palmer: If only I could.
David: Ah, yes, of course. Vanessa.
Palmer: Mm-hmm. See, I thought he might accept a grant, study somewhere else, say, the University of Hawaii. He could major in surfboarding.
David: Hmm. Sounds like a great plan. So why are you telling this to me?
Palmer: Well, I just don't think I -- he wouldn't trust my motives, but he would listen to you.
David: Well, I guess you forgot, Palmer. The last time you asked me to play role model for my brother Leo I failed miserably. Though I have to admit, I do like the idea of him going off to school somewhere.
Palmer: So you'll talk to him, all right?
David: Hmm. Not because he's a thorn in your side, Palmer, or because I believe that he would benefit greatly by being out of Vanessa's sphere of influence.
Palmer: Well, you can keep your reasons to yourself. Just -- just talk to him. And why don't you get busy. I mean, use the foundation's time.

Leo: I tried calling Greenlee, but her maid said that she was sleeping in today.
Becca: Well, I imagine she wants to lay low, considering --

[telephone rings]

Leo: Excuse me.
Becca: Oh. Ok.
Leo: Hello?
David: Hi, Leo. It's David. How's your hand?
Leo: Ok. Are you calling to find out where to send the bill or --
David: Can you drop by my office? I need to talk to you.
Leo: About what?
David: I'd like to do it in person.
Leo: I do love surprises. Yeah, be right there. Yeah, that was my brother, the doctor. He wants to see me. I say let him wait.
Becca: Look, when your brother was taking care of your hand last night, he was really concerned about you.
Leo: It was just doctor's routine. Strictly professional.
Becca: I like it when my brothers take care of me.
Leo: Yeah, I guess you're probably right. I should go down there and try to pretend like we're part of a real family.

Opal: Oh, there you a-- Oh, I see. Got company. Hey, what happened?
Leo: Cut myself shaving.
Becca: Don't listen to him. He saved a girl in trouble.
Leo: Becca's exaggerating.
Becca: Well, heroic and modest, eh? Nice combination.

Gillian: No, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Jake: What are you doing? You're scaring me.
Gillian: No, no, no, no.
Jake: Oh, my Lord. You're really scaring me.
Gillian: No, no. You like them so much after all. Maybe you should take one for the road with you.
Jake: Ok. I'll take it and I'll keep it as a memento. I won't eat it. I'll put in a special place. Mmm. Mmm.
Gillian: Mmm.
Jake: Mmm. I'll be back after I talk to the lawyer. Bye, Eugenia. Bye. Ok.
Gillian: Good luck.
Jake: Thank you. I'm fine. I'm fine.

[Eugenia laughs]

Gillian: Well, if we're going to build a house, we'd better start planning.
Eugenia: Oh, yes, you'd better. And now are you going to tell me why Ryan stopped by last night?
Gillian: Grandmama, it's absurd. It doesn't even bear discussing.
Eugenia: Hmm?
Gillian: It's just -- he just wanted to make sure that I wasn't rushing into marriage with Jake.
Eugenia: Oh, that's very considerate of him. That's not all he said, surely.
Gillian: Well, he just -- he said that maybe we broke up too soon and maybe we owed it to each other to try again. Don't you think that was totally uncalled for?
Eugenia: Well, I -- no, no, no. What's important -- what was your reaction?
Gillian: At first I was a little confused, but that only lasted for a little moment, and then I realized how ridiculous the idea was.
Eugenia: Only for a little moment?
Gillian: Until I saw Jake again, and then I realized that he was an incredible man, and then he said the most amazing thing to me.
Eugenia: Ah, yes. He swept you off your feet.
Gillian: .But in a very Jake way. He said he -- he said that, you know, if I had any doubts that he would step back, call off the wedding, and he would sacrifice anything as long as I'm happy.
Eugenia: Even Colby?
Gillian: No, I wouldn't want him to choose me over Colby. I don't want that. But you know what he said?
Eugenia: No.
Gillian: He said that if I wasn't happy, I could never make a happy home for Colby. Don't you think that is so smart and mature and intelligent?
Eugenia: Oh, yes. Very. Very.
Gillian: See, he just -- he's amazing. He know what he wants. Not like other men who are all children. And, you know, if I had any doubts, I know now for sure that Jake's the man that I want to spend my life with.
Eugenia: Ah, my dear. You really are growing up, aren't you?

Dixie: Thank you, Stella. Hi.
Gillian: Dixie.
Eugenia: Oh, what lovely, unexpected pleasure.
Dixie: Oh, no. I heard you were having an informal lunch.
Gillian: Yeah. Please join us.
Eugenia: Yes, please do.
Dixie: Why, thank you. You know, I've already had lunch, so --
Eugenia: Well, would you like some tea?
Dixie: That would be lovely, thank you. You know, Jake called to tell us that you had moved the date of your wedding up. So I'm here to volunteer.
Gillian: Oh. Well, you know, actually it's going to be all very quick and fast and easy, so there's really no need to -- to help.
Dixie: Oh. All right. Well, how about at least let me warn you what you're getting into by marrying a Martin man.

Liza: Your help scares me, Adam.
Adam: Well, I guess I have no one to blame for that but myself. I'm going to do everything I can to regain that trust, Liza.
Liza: As if that could happen.
Mother.
Marian: Good morning, darling. Hello, Adam. Am I interrupting a private conversation?
Adam: You can wipe that grin off your face, Marian.
Marian: Am I grinning? Oh, dear. I would hate to be an ungracious winner.
Liza: Hello, Mother. Thank you for coming so quickly.
Marian: Not at all, darling. I love spending time with my precious granddaughter. It's one of my --
Adam: You don't need her to baby-sit. I'm not gone yet.
Liza: The nanny is gone for the afternoon. You can't be alone with Colby.
Adam: Liza, you don't really think I would hurt Colby.
Liza: No. Jake has concerns, though, about your influence --
Adam: Why does Jake have the right?
Liza: You know, if you want to help me with this custody suit -- did you mean it?
Adam: Yes, yes, of course. If it will help you, I will keep my distance from Colby at least until this Jake business is cleared up.
Liza: Well, thank you.
Adam: Actually, there was something else I wanted to suggest. What if Barry came over and -- I think the three of us could come to some sort of a speedy, painless result ere this is concerned, don't you think?
Liza: Jackson Montgomery is my lawyer.
Adam: Are you going to be with him? I'm hopeless. I also told you I wouldn't ask again.
Liza: Mother, I won't be gone too long. Thanks again.
Marian: Not at all, darling. Don't worry. I'll be right here.
Adam: So will I. I hope something good comes out of your meeting, whoever it's with.
Liza: Thank you.

Adam: She still loves me. What happened to your triumphant smile, Marian?
Marian: Here it is, Adam. I'm still smiling, because you are a laugh riot if you think that Liza can't see right through you.

Leo: I like it. Leo goes to college. That's very good.
David: You did a good thing last night, Leo. Even heroic. Made me believe that perhaps you might be able to make something of your life. A college education would be a very good start.
Leo: Maybe, but, you know, I have to warn you. The price of these shoes -- higher than my S.A.T. scores.
David: We can get around that. I know a few small, independent colleges that would make an exception.
Leo: What, if you pay them enough? Such generosity takes my breath away, David, really. But where could this be coming from? Because mother seems very happy having me in the next room, and, what, you couldn't care if I live or die, so unless I'm very much mistaken, this is all Palmer's idea.
David: Forget Palmer, all right? Why not consider it? I'll take care of everything.
Leo: So you want me out your life too, is that it?
David: It's time for you to make a few changes in your life, Leo.
Leo: Why? I love my suite at the hotel. There are more than enough attractive women in this town, and, well, I have two jobs, neither one demanding.
David: Mm-hmm, and how long can you go on living like that?
Leo: WRCW can fire me, but Palmer never will. He wouldn't risk sleeping on the sofa.
David: And what happens, Leo, when Palmer finally wises up and dumps Vanessa? What happens when you both find yourselves with your rear ends on the curb?

Marian: Perhaps Liza doesn't hate you as much as I think she should, but she's never going to swallow this transparent act of yours, Adam.
Adam: It's not an act, Marian. The fact is Liza, Colby, and I are a family and we belong together. Liza's feelings are hurt, but that also will pass. And if Jake causes trouble, it'll pass even faster.
Marian: You know, you can believe what you want to believe, but it'll only make your fall that much harder because you have no future with Liza and you have absolutely no future with Colby as well.
Adam: Wait a minute. That's Miss Visalia. That's Colby's doll. She can't go to sleep without it. Where did you get that?
Marian: I guess the nanny must have left it here.
Adam: The nanny is useless. She'd be -- have her walking papers right now if it weren't --
Marian: If it weren't for the fact you've been stripped of all authority around here, you mean? Where are you going now, Adam?
Adam: I'm going to take is to Colby.
Marian: You're not supposed to see Colby by yourself.
Adam: Colby can't go to sleep without it.
Marian: Well, then I'll take it to her, ok? Give it to me.
Adam: We'll go together.
Marian: Absolutely not, Adam.
Adam: Then you go to hell.
Marian: Don't you go, or I'll tell Liza you broke your promise to her once again, ok?
Adam: Why don't you take it to her. I'm sure she'll smile when she sees it.
Marian: Come on, Miss Visalia. Let's go up and see little Colby. Just the two of us.

Tad: Liza?
Liza: Tad, thank you.
Tad: What is it, honey? You sound totally stressed.
Liza: Yeah. I need you -- I need you to do something for me only you can do, and it's big. It's huge, really.
Tad: Sure. Anything. What is it?
Liza: I need you to convince Jake to drop this custody case.
Tad: Liza, I can't. You know I can't.
Liza: What would Dixie feel like if Adam just suddenly went off to court to try to get Junior away from her?
Tad: Liza, listen, if you just leave Adam, there's no problem. They disappear.
Liza: I am leaving Adam. I am. I'm leaving him. He just has to trust me that this is what I'm doing. I'm divorcing him. I swear it.
Tad: Where did Adam sleep last night?
Liza: In the house.
Tad: And he's in control and my brother's doing the right thing.
Liza: I thought I could count on you for your support.
Tad: You can. You've got it.
Liza: Then I need a month. I need a couple of weeks.
Tad: Look at yourself, ok? You're falling apart. And I got news for you. That's not Jake's fault.
Liza: I know it's not Jake's fault. I know he's doing this because he feels he's right. But believe me, so am I. Believe me.
Tad: Listen, listen, you want my help, you got it. Right now let's go to the house. Let's pick up Colby. You can stay -- you can spend the night at my place tonight. Or better yet, go to mom and dad's. They would love to have a grandchild under their roof.
Liza: It's not that simple.
Tad: Why not? What is wrong with you? What the hell is going on? Look, whatever Adam has done to you, whatever your terrible secret is -- maybe it's time you told me what it is.

Dixie: Yes, you think you have married one Martin, but actually, you've married them all.
Eugenia: Yes, that's what happened to me when I married into the Andrassys. I was expected to know the family history all the way back to Charlemagne.
Dixie: Oh, my goodness. Well, I hope it won't be as bad for Gillian, but there are a few things you're going to need to know. The Martin song, the Martin handshake, and the Martin yodel.
Gillian: I have to learn to yodel?
Dixie: No, I'm sorry. I'm totally just kidding.
Eugenia: Oh, that's so disappointing. I mean, a family with a personal yodel -- that's very impressive.
Dixie: It is. It's a good idea. I'll talk to Tad. But there actually are a few things you're going to need to know. I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but Jake can't tie his own tie. None of the Martin men can. It's this strange mystery that goes all the way back to the beginnings of time. You're going to have to learn how to do it -- and without comment, which is very hard -- either from the back or in a mirror image.
Gillian: Ok. I think I can do that. Anything else?
Dixie: Um -- can you cook?
Gillian: I'm terrible. I'm a terrible cook.
Dixie: Ok, that's good because Ruth will love teaching you.
Gillian: And what if I can't learn?
Dixie: Well, she will love that even more. Oh, actually, you know what? Always remember to ask for seconds on Ruth's Sunday morning coffee cake. It's a big deal. It's a recipe that was handed down to her from Grandma Kate, and she got from her mother-in-law. It's this big tradition.
Gillian: I've never been part of a tradition like this. Ok, so tying the necktie, being a terrible cook, Grandma Kate's coffee cake -- anything else?
Dixie: Um -- I don't know. I guess there's just really one more thing, and this is the best part. If you ever need anything, you can turn to any one of us at any time for whatever.
Gillian: I know. I'm not going to forget that.
Dixie: And pretty soon you're just going to feel like you've always been a part of the family.
Gillian: You know, the Andrassys go back all the way to Charlemagne. But except for Grandmama and Dimitri, I've never felt like a part of a family.
Dixie: Well, you know what? I mean, Grandma, you could be an honorary Martin, if you like.
Eugenia: Oh, I accept with pleasure.
Dixie: Excellent. So let's talk about the wedding. Have you decided where you're going to get married?
Gillian: No, no. Actually, it's very rush-rush, you know, because of Colby, so -- I don't know. I guess we'll just do it in front of the justice of the peace.
Eugenia: Ghastly, ghastly.
Dixie: Oh, no. I agree. I mean, you're never going to get away with it.
Gillian: Oh, well --
Dixie: Ruth -- she doesn't know that the wedding has been pushed up, right?
Gillian: No.
Dixie: Well, even though I'm sure that she will absolutely understand because of the whole Colby thing, she's never going to forgive you if you guys elope.
Gillian: So what are we going to do?
Dixie: Well, I actually know from experience that all Ruth's reservations about a quick wedding are going to evaporate if you just ask her to get married in the Martin living room.
Gillian: Oh, that's -- I would love to do that if it's ok with Jake. Then that's what we'll do.
Dixie: Great.

Ryan: Ok, great. I'll just work on the numbers, and I can show them to you before I leave.
Opal: All right. You hang out as long as you like. You spruce up the place.

Becca: Hey, so did you make the sale?
Ryan: Hey, I always make the sale -- at work.
Becca: You know, I don't me to pry, but I gave you some advice about going after miracles. And I was just wondering, was it terrible?
Ryan: It wasn't great.
Becca: What happened?
Ryan: Well, I found out that I wasn't due for a miracle. She --
Becca: Gillian? You know, I heard once how you guys were this great couple.
Ryan: Yeah, yeah, we were for a little while. But the way I look at it, the better man won.

David: You're living off of the charity of your self-centered mother and her husband, who hates you. How can you go on living like that?
Leo: I am so sick and tired of you running down our mother. Let's be honest, David. You don't care about me any more than I care about you.
David: That's what Vanessa told you.
Leo: You want me to be a pawn in your little battle with Vanessa. You want me gone because that's going to make her suffer.
Leo: You know what's funny? Vanessa told me you'd be jealous of me. And it's so sad. You're famous and you're rich, but you're all screwed-up because your mother never loved you.
David: Yeah, well, at least I had one parent who really did love me, thank God.
Leo: Oh, him. That's right. Your sainted father. Vanessa does a wicked impression of him, the way he rolls his R's all funny, like, "Vanessa, really --"
David: Don't you ever say another word against my father again. Do you hear me? At least I knew what my father sounded like. Can you say the same thing?
Leo: He comes from an ancient European family. He owns vineyards and --
David: Have you even laid eyes on him?
Leo: Once, outside of Innsbruck. He was with his other family at a ski lodge.
David: He didn't even know you existed.
Leo: Of course he did. Vanessa told me he was happy when I was born.
David: Oh, yeah, right. All you had was Vanessa's word for that, right?
Leo: It's true.
David: Is it true? Well, then all it means is that you're a bastard. He rejected you just like your worthless mother.
Leo: Thanks for your offer, brother, but I think I can get by just fine without your money -- or Palmer's. Just see if I don't.

Marian: Well, you were right, Adam. Her face just lit up when she saw her doll, and then she fell right asleep.
Adam: I gave her that doll.
Marian: Oh, really? Well, I'm sure she doesn't remember it. Eventually, she probably won't remember you at all.
Adam: You know, you have a lot of nerve accusing me of being deceitful. You pretend to be acting out of love for Liza and Colby, but it's really all about vengeance with you, isn't it? You take great delight in hurting me.
Marian: You could give me 100 polygraph tests, Adam, and they'd all read the same way. My main concern is about Liza and Colby's welfare. But, yes, I a thrilled to death that you are hurting, Adam.
Adam: It's all because of that party I threw for you and Stuart, isn't it?
Marian: No, it's much more than that.
Adam: I brought by a few dozen of your gentlemen friends to open Stuart's eyes.
Marian: That was just sheer cruelty on your part, Adam. And it was totally unnecessary. And all it ended up doing was hurting Stuart terribly.
Adam: Oh, not nearly as much as it's going to hurt him when you betray him.
Marian: I would never betray Stuart.
Adam: Come on, Marian. Stuart is the sweetest man that ever walked the face of the earth, but let's face it. He does jigsaw puzzles and talks to plants. Now, how long is a man like that going to be able to satisfy you?
Marian: Stuart and I are happy in every way. Not that it's any of your damn business, Adam.
Adam: Come on, Marian, be honest. When you're out tooling around and you stop at a stoplight, don't your eyes sort of start to wander a little bit? When you see that buffed young guy over there in the tight jeans and you start thinking about all the fun you've been missing?
Marian: You have a filthy mind, Adam. And if Liza could just be here right now and hear what you're saying to me --
Adam: Liza knows you better than I do. She knows all about those adventurous nights in roadside dives where you challenged one of the truckers to a friendly game of pool. And even if they lose, they win.
Marian: That was a lifetime ago, Adam.
Adam: Oh? Well, let's go back just a couple of years and see you in the Valley Inn bar chatting up some lonely businessman. You can make a man feel like a million bucks for the price of a vodka stinger.
Marian: I'm not like that anymore because of Stuart.
Adam: Oh. People don't change, Marian. You've told me that often enough. You were a slut once and you'll be a slut again.

Tad: Liza, trust me. Please just tell me. Has he got something on you? Is that it? Is that how he's controlling you?
Liza: What, you think he's blackmailing me? For what? He knows about my sordid past with you.
Tad: Well, I don't know. Listen, I'm afraid that, you know, your terrible secret is a little more simple than that -- that you're just in love with him.
Liza: What?
Tad: You know, that you're addicted to him like some kind of drug.
Liza: Just stop it. That's not what it is. Adam -- Adam isn't even -- all that matters is my daughter. I cannot let Jake try to take her from me. Can't you just leave it at that and help me?
Tad: No, because she belongs to Jake, too and she's part of my family. And you and I both know if Adam keeps calling the shots, then Jake's going to lose her.
Liza: Don't you get it? If Jake takes this to court, he's not going to have a daughter.

Stuart: How can you say something like that to my wife?
Adam: She got me mad. She won't let me see Colby.
Stuart: Well, she's right. You don't belong around decent people, Adam - let alone some sweet little baby.
Adam: Why do you always take her side in these things? It's as if I don't have a brother anymore. Nobody cares about what I --
Stuart: Be quiet! You deserve everything you got.
Adam: I have put up with --
Stuart: I said be quiet! If I ever hear about your talking to my wife like that again, then you're going to answer to me -- to me -- and I won't be your brother, either. I'll be a man that's fighting for the woman he loves.
Marian: Come on, Stuart. Let's go sit with Colby.
Stuart: I mean it, Adam. I mean it. You're going to be so sorry.

Adam: No, no, no. Marian -- Marian will be very sorry.
Winifred: Mr. Chandler, there's a young man here to see you. A Mr. Du pres.
Adam: I don't know any Mr. Du Pres. Tell him to go away.
Leo: Leo Du Pres.
Adam: Oh, yes, yes, yes. Mr. -- Thank you. Yes. Come on in. I -- it's been quite a while since I asked you to come over. I assumed someone had warned you off.
Leo: Yeah, I was told that you were dangerous and immoral.
Adam: But you're here.
Leo: Yeah. I like to learn from the best.

Opal: Well, come right on in, Duchess. We are all booked up today, but I can always make room for royalty.
Eugenia: Thank you. You're very nice. It's just that I want to look my best for my granddaughter's wedding.
Opal: Oh, I thought that wasn't till June.
Eugenia: Oh, the plans have changed. She's going to be married in a few days.
Opal: She is? How's -- what, is she racing the stork down the aisle?
Eugenia: I beg your pardon?
Opal: Oh. I'm so sorry. Forgive me.
Eugenia: Oh, she decided to forego a lengthy engagement and to help Jake get custody of his child, Colby.
Opal: Oh, of course, of course.
Eugenia: We would have preferred, of course, to have a real proper wedding, but we do want to help Jake. And Jake -- after all, he was more than helpful in her recovery.

Gillian: All right, let's see what else. I know Jake won the spelling bee in the fifth grade for the word "resustate." And that's when his parents knew that he was going to become this ER Doctor.
Dixie: Uh-huh. You know, he is the big baby of the family.
Gillian: It's really a wonder that he's not a spoiled brat.
Dixie: You haven't seen the shrine, have you?
Gillian: No.
Dixie: There is a shrine in the basement to Joseph Martin Jr., I mean, with little league trophies and swim team plaques and perfect attendance records, all signed "Joseph Martin Jr."
Gillian: Joseph Jr.?
Dixie: Yeah. He was Joey before he was all grown-up. Did you know that?
Gillian: No. But I like Jake better.
Dixie: I have a feeling he does, too.

Jake: Ahem.
Dixie: Oh.
Gillian: Hello.
Jake: Hello.
Gillian: Would you mind if we get married in your parent's living room?
Jake: In my parent's living room? Sure. Was this your idea?
Dixie: Oh.
Jake: Oh, well, bless your heart.
Dixie: Don't mention it. Well, I think my work here is done.
Gillian: Well, thank you so much for everything.
Jake: Thank you, thank you, and thank you very much.
Dixie: Yes, don't mention I don't mention it, and don't mention it.
Jake: Toodle-loo. Toodle-loo.

Gillian: Bye-bye. She was so sweet. She told me everything I needed to know about the Martin men.
Jake: Well, you're a natural.
Gillian: Well, thank you -- Joey.
Jake: Joe-- well, what else did she tell you?
Gillian: Don't worry. I -- I think I prefer Jake.
Jake: Oh.
Gillian: But you don't look like a Junior.
Jake: A Junior?
Gillian: A Joey.
Jake: Joey. Joey Jr.
Gillian: You look more like a Hubert.
Jake: A Hubert?
Gillian: Yeah.
Jake: Well, thank you.
Gillian: So how did it go?
Jake: Well -- oh, with the lawyer?
Gillian: Mm-hmm.
Jake: Everything's on track.
Gillian: Good. I'm glad.

Tad: What's that supposed to mean? Is that a threat? How can Jake just cease to be Colby's father?
Liza: I just meant that Colby's been very lucky to have him to play with. He can come and go as he pleases, and she loves him. And if he takes this to court, that will all change because I will do everything that is humanly possible to keep her with me. And you know courts. They give the custody to the mothers all the time. And Jake will lose her.
Tad: Listen, I agree with you. I know it's in nobody's best interests to drag this thing through the courts.
Liza: Please tell him. Tell him that, please.
Tad: I can't. The only person he's going to listen to is you. You're the only person that can reassure him. The only person that can stop him, make him drop this custody case is you.

Leslie: Liza. For you. You are hereby served in the case of Joseph Martin Jr. vs. Liza Colby Chandler in the matter of custody of Colby Martin. See you in court. Good day.
Liza: Well, it's happening. It's happening.