Leo: Come on, baby. Open sesame? How did I get myself into this? I'm a people person, not a handyman. I'm a mega mogul. Come on.

Leo: Gotcha.
Leo: Laura, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were there.
Laura: Wow. Uh, problems?
Leo: Yeah, yeah, the lock is jammed.
Laura: You want me to take a look at it?
Leo: No, no, it's all right. It's calling out for a professional, anyway.
Laura: No, I think I can help.
Leo: Are you kidding me?
Leo: No. By all means. Whatever floats your boat.
Leo: Get the hell out of here! How'd you do that?
Laura: Oh, it's all in the wrist.
Leo: I got a couple leaky portholes and a deck to caulk, if you're interested.
Laura: Actually, I came for a job as your photographer.
Leo: No, no, no. My modeling days are over.
Laura: No, for incredibledreams.com. You have a web site and brochures and advertising campaigns. You need a staff photographer to supply collateral material
Leo: Yeah, but I don't know if a photographer's in our budget right now. We're big on ideas but short on cash, if you know what I mean -- unless you're interested in working for fringe benefits.
Laura: Like what?
Leo: I don't know -- charming company, elegant work environment? Follow me.
Leo: Ok, this is what I was thinking. Um -- ok, here, turn around.
Laura: Ooh.
Leo: See? Fringe benefits. Laura: Ah. Well, maybe we can work something out.
Leo: So you'll come aboard? No pun intended.
Laura: Well -- oh, oh, right there. Oh, left. Little higher.
Leo: Right there?
Laura: Yes. Oh. Leo, you're the best.
Leo: Mm-hmm.

Woman: Dr. Hayward. Can I help you?
David: Yes, where have you been, Susan?
Woman: My name's not Susan. It's Charlotte.
David: Oh, yeah, right, that was the last one. So, why did you leave your desk?
Charlotte: I was down at the lab picking up your test results.
David: Ok, great. Were there any messages?
Charlotte: Yes.
David: Who? Did she leave a message?
Charlotte: It wasn't a she. It was a Dr. Forrester.
David: Oh, right, yeah. Just hold on to that, ok? If Dixie Martin calls, just put her through right away.
Charlotte: Sure.

Tad: I've been waiting for you.

Hayley: You want the world to believe you're so good and so upstanding, so much better than your mother. You've pushed me away. You've never given me the love a mother deserves. You refuse to accept how much alike we are. Well, guess what, pussycat -- pretty soon the whole world is going to know the truth. Your mama's going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget.

Mateo: Hayley? Are you here?
Mateo: Hayley?
Mateo: Hey.
Liza: Hey! Is Hayley with you?
Mateo: No. I was about to ask you the same thing.
Liza: No. We're going live at her request. She's nowhere to be found.
Mateo: I'm a little concerned. Last night she woke up, she said she heard Arlene's voice calling her name.
Liza: In our house?
Mateo: Yeah, yeah, and then when I woke up this morning, she wasn't there. She always says good-bye right before she leaves. And I just hope she's not with Arlene or -- I don't know. You know, maybe Arlene came to the house?
Liza: Ok, ok, look, don't do this, ok? Adam has called security. Arlene didn't come near us.
Mateo: No, Liza, she was back at the condo. She -- she left this doll there with a noose around its neck. She cold cocked Tina. I mean --
Liza: Is Tina ok?
Mateo: She's fine, but she's taken this vendetta thing to a whole new level and -- she's missing. Hayley's missing. I got to find her.
Liza: Maybe we should call Adam.
Mateo: No offense, but every time we call Adam, things just get worse.
Liza: Ok, we're doing -- he's doing his best to protect you guys.
Mateo: Well, he's got to do better. Arlene's still around and I can't find Hayley.
Liza: All right, I know that you and Adam don't agree with this, but he has called his security. His investigators are on this 24/7.
Mateo: Yeah. Duffy. Yeah, he really inspires confidence, that guy. Have you seen that guy?
Liza: Well, you know what? Prayer. Just pray that he finds Arlene before she makes her next move. Mateo: If she hasn't already.

Hayley: Hey. Hey.
Mateo: You ok?
Hayley: Yeah. Yeah, I just came in early to get a little work done. So much for that. I fell asleep at my desk.
Mateo: Huh.
Hayley: Why? What's the matter?
Liza: Your husband was worried.
Mateo: Yeah.
Liza: He was going to put out an all-points bulletin.
Hayley: Why?
Mateo: I woke up and, you know, you usually say good-bye. You -- you weren't there this morning.
Hayley: Oh. Well, I'm sorry, Sweetie. You just -- you were sleeping so peacefully. I mean, you were so cute. You even had a smile on your face. I thought you were having a nice dream or something. I didn't want to wake you. I mean, you stay up enough with me when I'm tossing and turning.
Mateo: Well, the next time, wake me up, please.
Hayley: Ok.
Mateo: No matter how cute I am.
Hayley: Deal.
Mateo: Ok?
Hayley: Mm-hmm.

Liza: Well, now that we have all that settled, you have a guest that's waiting in the greenroom.
Hayley: Yes.
Liza: We have a show to do. Are you ready?
Hayley: Yeah, yeah, bring them on.
Liza: Ok.
Hayley: Listen, enough with the worrying, ok? Please.
Mateo: That's not going to happen.
Hayley: Thank you. Thanks a lot. What?
Mateo: Is this new?
Mateo: It's nice.
Hayley: This is Arlene's.

Laura: Returning to the scene of the crime?
Greenlee: What the hell is going on?
Leo: What are you doing here?
Greenlee: Get off that bed.
Leo: No, no, you stay right there, Laura. There you go. Stay right there. There you go. You're trespassing.
Greenlee: I'm not the only one. What is she doing here?
Leo: None of your business.
Laura: I'm here for work -- as a photographer.
Greenlee: With the camera that I gave you?
Laura: You want it back?
Greenlee: I am so on to you. You're not here for a job. You're after Leo.
Laura: Isn't that why you're here?
Greenlee: Give it a rest, Laura. Incredibledreams.com and Leo are way out of your league.
Leo: Did you know that Greenlee once hacked the company's computer system into pieces in a fit of jealous rage?
Greenlee: It was your idea.
Leo: Oh, like Greenlee ever hears anything but the sound of those little voices in her head. Uh, Greenlee, Laura and I were sort of in the middle of a meeting.
Greenlee: Is that what you call it?
Leo: Unless you're here for a reason, why don't you beat it.
Greenlee: I have a reason -- money.
You owe me and I want it now.

David: Looking for the wife?
Tad: Nope.
David: Then why are you here?
Tad: Dixie.
David: Dixie already made her decision.
Tad: I know. She married me. Remember? I guess that doesn't matter to you.
David: You were so busy trying to do damage control, getting the wife on track, patching up this so-called marriage. You don't have a clue about what your wife really wants.
Tad: And you do? Really irks you, doesn't it, that Dixie and I are committed to each other?
David: You mean between your affairs? First it was Liza, now it's Leslie. So how many times you think you can hurt your wife and have her come back to you?
Tad: I didn't have an affair. But you're right about one thing, David. Leslie's a big part of this, isn't she? Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out?
David: Is there a mystery here? You and Leslie had sex.
Tad: Yeah. And you orchestrated the entire thing. And you did it to ruin my marriage.
David: I'm sorry to disappoint you, Tad, but I'm not the puppet master here. No one was in that stateroom except you and Leslie.
Tad: Just like you planned it.
David: I don't have time for this. I have a patient waiting.
Tad: Make time. I've had nothing but time to think. And you know what? No matter where I start, it always come back to one point -- you.
David: All right, Tad. Please, enlighten me.
Tad: The Libidozone at the party.
David: Old news.
Tad: You did it.
David: Are you saying you have proof?
Tad: Mm-hmm. For one thing, Jake told me you as much as admitted it.
David: And why would I do that?
Tad: To gloat. To rub it in his face, because as of yet, no evidence has been found. David: All right. So then why are we having this conversation?
Tad: Leslie.
David: Ah, yes, yes, the centerpiece to my nefarious scheme.
Tad: You two go back a ways, don't you? After all, she was going to be your counsel when Dixie and I threatened you with that sexual harassment suit.
David: No, you were the only one who called it sexual harassment. Dixie knew better.
Tad: Hmm. That's part of it, too, isn't it? You get me to take a shot at you, then go whining to Dixie. No. The point I was trying to make is that you've known her for a long time. You must have figured out how obsessive she is, and somehow you found out that she's had a thing for me for years.
David: All right, so let me get this straight -- you were drugged and alone with a woman who is crazy about you. You end up in the sack, and it's my fault?
Tad: That's right. Because you're the one that spiked the punch at the party. You're the one that manipulated your lawyer, tweaked her obsession for me, made sure she was on that boat and as high as I was. Then you get me to beat the hell out of you and the whole thing is like a guided missile. All you've got to do is press the button and my life explodes.
David: Hmm. That's very colorful, Tad. But good luck trying to prove that theory.
Tad: Isn't that amazing? That's exactly what you said to my brother when he accused you of drugging the guests.
David: Well, maybe it means that you're both wrong about it.
Tad: No, I'm not wrong. I'm just a little slow. See, it wasn't until about 3:00 This morning I realized that you were the one playing Dr. Feelgood at that party. First I discounted the idea because so far everybody assumes that Ryan was the victim. But that doesn't make sense because you've already had his wife. You've already ruined his marriage. And now all of a sudden -- bing -- it hit me. What you want is Dixie.
David: Hmm. You're obviously not aware of how ridiculous this sounds.
Tad: She's not going to think it's ridiculous. After all, you're the researcher. You're the only one with access to Libidozone.
David: Old news again, Tad. Dixie already defended me on that front.
Tad: And how long do you think that's going to last after she finds out you intentionally deceived her?

Greenlee: Pay up. What's so funny?
Leo: This is priceless! You can't be serious.
Greenlee: What are you laughing at?
Leo: A dry-cleaning bill?
Oh, Greenlee, really. This is rich, really. Look at this. 13-- No, wait a minute, you're rich. You pay it.
Greenlee: I'm not leaving until I get my money.
Leo: You know, I'd love to tell you what I'd like to do with this, Greenlee, but I think you know.
Greenlee: You nearly ruined my outfit.
Leo: It was an accident.
Greenlee: You poured a Bloody Mary all over me.
Leo: I tripped.
Greenlee: Liar.

Leo: Ok. Um -- I'm sorry for the interruption, but I think that you would make a great addition to the team.
Laura: Thank you. So how do we do this?
Leo: Well, I know your work, but Ryan doesn't, so -- let me think. Could you bring the portfolio by here?
Laura: Sure.
Leo: Ok. I'll show it to Ryan, talk you up, and you'll be hired.
Laura: Hired?
Leo: Yeah.
Laura: The word suggests money.
Leo: Well, chicken scratch is probably closer to the truth, but we'll figure something out.
Laura: I'm really just interested in the experience, anyway.

Greenlee: I'm sure Leo can't wait to give you more experience.

Leo: Just ignore her.
Laura: Who? I have cards made up with my numbers. So call me when Ryan's free. I'll come back with my portfolio.
Leo: All right. Sounds like a plan. So do you want to go get a drink and celebrate?
Laura: Oh, something tells me I'd be sorry.
Leo: Yeah.
Laura: Thanks.
Leo: All right, well, I'll walk you to the deck.
Laura: Ok.
Leo: All right.

Greenlee: Watch your step. If you're not careful, you might get in over your head -- again.
Laura: If push comes to shove, I can take care of myself.

Mateo: You sure that's your mom's scarf?
Hayley: I am positive. This is the first thing she bought with her "I'm Mrs. Chandler" credit card.
Mateo: Well, what are you doing with it?
Hayley: I don't know. When is this going to end?
Mateo: You know, it's just a scarf. Maybe, you know, she left it behind when she got kicked out of your dad's house.
Hayley: Yeah, you know, it was dark this morning. And I didn't turn the lights on in the closet. I just grabbed a few things & and I probably didn't even notice.
Mateo: It's no big deal.
Hayley: Well, don't worry about it. It's gone. All right?
Mateo: Yeah.

Liza: Hayley? This is Dr. Howard Brody.
Hayley: Oh, hello, Dr. Brody. I enjoyed your book so much. I think it'll be a tremendous help to our audience.
Dr. Brody: Well, thanks. It's nice to be here.
Hayley: Listen, I have the tape all cued up in the VCR, so you just press play whenever you're ready during the show. And I'll take you up on set, familiarize you.

Liza: This should be interesting.
Mateo: Uh-oh. You're saying that like it's a bad thing.
Liza: Oh, we're here to discuss Dr. Howard Brody's book, "Living With Guilt."
Mateo: Well, why would we have that kind of guest on?
Liza: Look, it wasn't my call. It was Hayley's call. She didn't even tell me until she made all the arrangements.
Mateo: She looks ok. Maybe -- maybe it's going to go fine, you know?
Liza: I don't know. I don't have a good feeling about this. I mean, Hayley has been wound tight about this whole Arlene mess. Mateo, have you thought about maybe just getting some professional help for her?

Eli: And we're live in four, three --

Hayley: Hi, everyone. I'm Hayley Santos. Welcome to "Wave." Our guest today is so important to me that I've decided to devote the entire hour to him. Please welcome Dr. Howard Brody, who wrote an incredible book about how to deal with guilt. Dr. Brody, welcome. Now, who is this book for?
Dr. Brody: Well, the book is for anyone who suffers from feelings of guilt, but it's aimed specifically at the sandwich generation.
Hayley: And that is?
Dr. Brody: People who find themselves caring for aging parents while at the same time trying to raise a family. The demands on their time, the financial and the emotional pressures can be overwhelming, and this can lead to feelings of inadequacy, guilt.
Hayley: Is it possible to live guilt-free?
Dr. Brody: That's a tough question. I think it might be better to say that it's possible to learn to live with guilt.
Hayley: Well, how do you do that? How do you get rid of the voice in your head that keeps telling you you're guilty?
Dr. Brody: Well, there are techniques you can use.
Hayley: Hair shirts? Self-flagellation?
Dr. Brody: Well, there are more modern methods.
Hayley: Like consequences? What about those? Surely there must consequences, doctor.
Dr. Brody: Yes. Guilt is a very destructive emotion, and if it's left unaddressed, it will built up and the effects can be terrible physically, psychologically. It's --
Hayley: Is there a cure? Is there a cure for guilt? Do you suppose that would be confession?
Dr. Brody: Well, it can be useful to communicate your feelings, yes. That kind of information can be very important in alleviating the stress that comes from guilt.
Hayley: So your advice would be to the guilty person to always come clean, no matter what?
Dr. Brody: It's not a question of having done anything wrong. Most of my patients are simply torn between conflicting responsibilities.
Hayley: Well, what about people who have done something wrong, something horribly wrong? What about people who've done some irreparable damage to their parents? Shouldn't they be held accountable? Shouldn't they pay for what they've done?
Dr. Brody: I'm not sure I understand your point, Hayley.
Hayley: People who have done something horribly wrong should be forced to confess for their own good, right?
Dr. Brody: Confession can be a useful tool, yes. I mean --
Hayley: I thought so. But then here's what happens -- if you confess and it hurts people you love, then what? Then you've got a whole new guilt to deal with. It's like this cycle of guilt. I mean, how do you escape? Is there an escape?
Dr. Brody: Well, as I said, there are exercises that you can do to alleviate feelings of guilt that might otherwise become overwhelming. I brought a tape and the tape deals with this subject. Why don't we take a look?
Hayley: Now from the famed --

Arlene: I did, I married your dad. I'm Mrs. Chandler!
Hayley: Famous cornbread stuffing --
Arlene: We can be a real family if you would just forgive me!
Hayley: How stuff a bird like the pros!
Arlene: Half the children in America want one mom and dad under the same roof, and I did that.
Arlene: I made that dream come true.

Hayley: Find out now who did this. Where is she? You find her!

Liza: Just cut to commercial, do something. Get us out of here.

Hayley: Arlene? I know you're here! Arlene! Get out here! What do you want from me?
Mateo: Hayley --
Hayley: Why is she doing this to me? I'm not going to calm down!
Mateo: Calm down.

David: Did you run your theory of my maniacal plot past Dixie?
Tad: Why? You need some time to make up a new lie?
David: No, I don't have to lie. She'll recognize it for what it is -- a pathetic ploy to blame somebody else for your own mistake.
Tad: She'll listen to me because she still loves me.
David: Not even your own mother could love you enough to believe such an asinine story. Why would I risk my reputation -- my entire career, for that matter -- to drug a boatload full of people so you can make whoopee with a head case who has a crush on you?
Tad: Because you're so damned arrogant and selfish, that's exactly what you would do to get what you want. And you've wanted my wife for months. I wouldn't put it past you to lace her coffee with Libidozone just so you could wear her down.
David: Yeah, much better to believe that, huh, than the fact that she came to me of her own free will.
Tad: No. She did that. But only after you manipulated her into sleeping with you.
David: Does this soften the blow to your ego, Tad?
Tad: She resisted you, didn't she? I know my wife. She fought it just as long as she could until you found her Achilles' heel. But the trick was you had to make it appear like I was unfaithful.
David: Oh, come on, Tad. You were unfaithful. Take responsibility. You demolished your marriage all by yourself when you slept with Leslie and you lied to your wife. Your marriage is over because of you.

Leo: See anything you want to take an ax to?
Greenlee: Besides you?
Leo: I've got work to do, Greenlee.
Greenlee: Don't let me stand in the way of your glorious career as a cabin boy.
Leo: Give it a rest.
Greenlee: Not until you take care of this.
Leo: Taken care of. Bye-bye.
Greenlee: You can't do that.
Leo: You wanted attention, you got it. Now shoo!
Greenlee: Don't flatter yourself.
Leo: You know, Greenlee, I'm really disappointed. A dry-cleaning bill? That's the best you could come up with? I mean, compared to the doggy kidnapping and the attempted murder, and, well, the fake drowning, I mean, come on, this is weak.
Greenlee: Just give me the money and I'm out of here.
Leo: It always comes down to the money, doesn't it, Greenlee? You had to buy Ryan's love, you got pay for Mommy and Daddy, but that's never --
Greenlee: Don't talk about my parents!
Leo: What was your idea of justice again? Is it 13.50? Is that what it was? If I give you the money, then we'll be even? That's what it's going to help me to get you out of my life? Ok, fine. Here you go, Greenlee. Let's see. Ok, here you go. Here you go, take it. Here. There you are. You happy? Do you feel better? Wait. Hold on, hold on. It's my last dime, literally. So I hope you feel all warm and fuzzy now, Greenlee. I'm broke, you're a few dollars richer. I mean, that's your idea of poetic justice, right?
Greenlee: You're not broke. I just returned your money from the loft.
Leo: I invested it.
Greenlee: In what?
Leo: Never mind. I'm broke until it pays off. But don't -- don't let that stop you. Take the money and get the hell out of here. Please.
Greenlee: I'm not taking your money.
Leo: Why not?
Greenlee: You need it more than I do.
Leo: Since when does that stop you?
Greenlee: Since now.
Leo: Take it. That's what you came here for.
Greenlee: No, it's not.
Leo: I knew it. You just wanted to see me.
Greenlee: Ok. You're right, damn it! And I hate you for it.
Leo: Greenlee, you can't keep doing this. You can't hound me into loving you.
Greenlee: I told you I'd fight for us. I'm not giving up. You've never loved anyone the way you loved me. You can't just shut that off.
Leo: No, I didn't. You did.
Greenlee: We bought a home together.
Leo: Yeah, for what, 20 minutes?
Greenlee: You promised that you'd keep me safe.
Leo: You looked me in the eyes and you lied to me.
Greenlee: I made some mistakes.
Leo: Mistakes? Greenlee, you nearly killed Laura. You blackmailed Bianca about being gay. That is not a mistake. That is evil.
Greenlee: Why can't you forgive me?
Leo: You want unconditional love? Go talk to Happy.
Greenlee: I get it -- you're punishing me. Well, I've learned my lesson.
Leo: Yeah, because you got caught.
Greenlee: Come on, admit it -- you think about me a little bit, don't you?
Leo: Yeah, ok? Every now and then I'll get a pang. Like heartburn.
Greenlee: Why are you so mean?
Leo: I'm mean? Who tried to get Gillian fired as a waitress on her first day? Who just went off on Laura for no reason?
Greenlee: She was all over you. I'm not going to let that little twit --
Leo: Listen to yourself! Listen! You're jealous! You're petty. That is not the woman I fell in love with.
Greenlee: I've been a jerk, all right, but everything I did was for us.
Leo: I thought that when, you know, two people fell in love and became committed that it would make us better people.
Greenlee: It will. I was just so afraid that I would lose you.
Leo: You already did.
Greenlee: Leo, no one can love you like I do. Laura is a snack. She will never satisfy you.
Leo: She's smart.
Greenlee: So am I.
Leo: She's pretty.
Greenlee: So am I.
Leo: She's kind.
Greenlee: I donated clothes to the community center.
Leo: And she's honest.
Greenlee: You said it yourself that honesty's overrated.
Leo: Give it up, Greenlee. It's over.
Greenlee: It'll never be over, Leo. I see it in your eyes. And all of this that you're doing -- living here, working for Ryan, making goo-goo eyes at Laura? You're just trying to forget about me, but you can't.
Leo: Because you keep getting in my face, that's why! Greenlee, you can't keep -- what did your dad call it? Cries for attention? Go find somebody else to stalk, please.
Greenlee: This isn't about me. It's you. I am the best thing that ever happened to you, and you can't handle it! Well, why didn't I see it before? You're a total loser! Well, it's over for good. I never want to see you again.
Leo: Fine.

[Greenlee gasps]

Greenlee: Damn!

Liza: I am so, so sorry. Hayley has been under a great deal of stress, and I hope that you'll let us reschedule your appearance.
Dr. Brody: She's suffering from a lot more than stress. I mean, what happened was a cry for help.
Liza: Yes, I was going to suggest that she take a vacation.
Dr. Brody: She needs more than a vacation. She needs a professional. Here. That's my card.
Liza: Oh, ok. I'll make sure I give this to her.
Dr. Brody: Well, don't wait too long. Oh -- and I would appreciate it if you could find my tape. Wherever it is.

Liza: Oh, hello. What the hell happened? We hired you to keep one person out and that's the one person that got in.
Guard: My men are at every door. They're patrolling the halls.
Liza: I see, and you have copies of Arlene's picture that you gave to each one of them?
Guard: Yes, there's no way that lady got past us.
Liza: She did.
Guard: Impossible. The place is tight.
Liza: Well, it's not tight enough.

Mateo: Let's go back to your dad's.
Hayley: Why? What's over there? She's just going to show up there. She's everywhere.
Mateo: I'm not going to let her get to you, ok?
Hayley: Mateo, wake up. Don't you see what's going on? Don't you see what she's doing? She's trying to get me to see myself for who I am. I'm a drunk. Look at her whole MO. Breaking into Adam's, breaking into our place, trashing it. The video tape, the creepy dolls, the spooky notes. She is going to push me and push me and push me until I finally take a drink. She wants me to put a bottle up to my lips and not put it down until I lose everything, just like she did.
Mateo: Arlene can't make you drink. You've got me, you've got your family. You have your meetings.
Hayley: None of those places are safe anymore because she'll just show up there, Mateo.
Mateo: Well --
Hayley: I don't know what I'm going to do.
Mateo: You can't give in to her, that's one thing. You got to be strong. I know it's going to be hard. Listen, Derek's already suspicious. We can't be letting on to anyone that something's wrong.
Hayley: Guess I blew that today.
Mateo: Why don't you let me get you out of here. Let's go somewhere for a while, like the islands or -- we'll just --
Hayley: I can't leave midseason. I've got a show to tape.
Mateo: That's what best-of shows are for, right?
Hayley: You know, you're really sweet, but no thanks. I'm not going anywhere.

Eli: Hayley? Wardrobe's asking for you.
Hayley: Got to go.

Mateo: Did we find her?
Liza: Nothing.
Mateo: What? How can that be?
Liza: Listen, for somebody who loves attention, Arlene is playing invisible brilliantly.
Mateo: Well, it's obvious that she slipped in, right?
Liza: Listen, I have hired extra guards. This place is like a prison during lockdown. Ok, nobody moves without security knowing it. How do you stop someone who can't be stopped?
Mateo: I'm going to stop her. And if I find her near Hayley, I'm not going to be responsible for what happens to her.

David: You can blame me, you can blame the drug, Leslie, the time the sun sets. But the fact remains you cheated on your wife.
Tad: And that's exactly what you used to get to her, isn't it?
David: No, that is not true. When Dixie learned about you and Leslie, she came to me. She wanted me to make love to her and I wouldn't. I told her that I would not interfere in her marriage. Go ahead, ask her. I only wanted Dixie if she wanted me.
Tad: She didn't want you. Not till you had her so confused she didn't know what she was doing.
David: Wake up, Tad! Dixie's had feelings for me for a long time now.
Tad: Oh, I wouldn't make too much of a couple kisses and a glass of brandy.
David: Do you remember the Crystal Ball? When you were looking for Dixie? She s in the turret with me. We were one breath away from making love.

Greenlee: Not a word. Ah! Help! Get me out of here!
Leo: I wouldn't do that.
Greenlee: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! I broke it! I broke it!
Leo: Oh, yeah, like you drowned yourself?
Greenlee: No, seriously, I think I dislocated it. Ow. Get away from me!
Leo: Sit down. Come here. How's that feel?
Greenlee: Embarrassing. Ow.
Leo: I think you'll live to shop another day, Greenlee.
Greenlee: You think so?

Liza: I think it's a little creepy that Arlene can go anywhere she pleases and she's never getting caught.
Mateo: Well, you know, there were people going in and out of the studio all day. Maybe she slipped in while the guard was distracted or something.
Liza: Security has been on high alert. It's impossible.
Mateo: Well, I don't know how else she got in. Maybe she got in through a window. Maybe we should check open windows around the studio.
Liza: You know what? I mean, just think about this for a second. Arlene is not that smart. She has gotten past your neighbors. She has somehow eluded the security cameras at Chandler's. She got in here with all these hired security people. She is obsessed with Hayley. And honestly, what she's doing to Hayley is un-- how are you doing?

Hayley: I'm sorry about the show.
Liza: No. I'm concerned about you, though.
Eli: Liza? We have the schedule for tomorrow's rehearsal.
Liza: Oh, yeah. All right, thanks. Take care of yourself. This is going to be over soon.
Hayley: I hope so. I can't take any more.

Mateo: So did you think about my offer? You, me, palm trees, the beach? You in a sarong, me being romantic?
Hayley: Does sound nice.
Mateo: Oh, come on. Let's do it. I'd love to whisk you off into the sunset.
Hayley: What?
Mateo: Is that Arlene's perfume?
Hayley: What are you talking about?
Mateo: Your hair reeks of it.
Mateo: I don't why I didn't see this before.
Hayley: See what?
Mateo: I know exactly what's going on.

[Knock on door]

Leslie: Tad, what are you doing here? Listen, I'll call the police.


ON THE NEXT - - - ALL MY CHILDREN

Greenlee: Please -- love me.

Palmer: If I was just five years younger, I'd kick your keister from here to the parking lot.

Mateo: What's wrong?
Hayley, what is it?

Leslie: Tell me you want me more than that backwoods hick you married.