Donald: My -- my tongue is swollen.
David: Well, it's going to stiffen and turn black soon.

[Donald coughs]

Vanessa: Dav--
David: Isn't it ironic that a man who made his living spreading vicious lies should choke to death on his own swollen tongue.
Vanessa: Oh, come on. David, you've had your fun. Give the man the antidote.
David: Donald knows the deal -- a videotaped confession in exchange for your life. Admit that Vanessa stole those pre-op photographs of Erica's face and that you sold them to Jerry Reeves for public consumption. You have approximately four minutes and counting.
Vanessa: Oh, come on, David. This is monstrous.
David: Those are the terms, Donnie boy. Take them or rest in peace.
Donald: God. The room is starting to spin!
David: Are you ready for your close-up, Mr. Steele? No? Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you die more nobly than you lived your life.
Donald: No!
Vanessa: David --
Donald: No, no, stop! I'll tell you everything. Vanessa stole those photos from your office!
Vanessa: Shut up, Donald!
Donald: No, no, you shut up!
Vanessa: You shut up.
Donald: And then she copied Erica's photos and her diaries because we were writing a book. It was a real hatchet job!
David: All right. That sounds really good, Donald. Don't blow it all in rehearsal. Save some for the camera, ok?
Donald: No -- wait. No, hurry up. I don't have that much time. Please.
David: I'm getting to it. No problem.
Donald: Let me have the antidote.
David: Oh, no, no, no. I don't think so. If I give that to you, you might lose your edge. Ok. "Confessions of a Sleaze Peddler," take two. Ready? Action.

[Donald coughs]

Jake: Hey. Hey. You all right? It's Ryan, huh? I mean, last update you told me that you two were getting back in touch with each other.
Gillian: It's not Ryan. It's Dimitri. He's dead.

Brooke: Dimitri spent a lot of his time here.
Alex: He told me that no matter how far he strayed, he always felt that this was his true home.
Alex: Oh. I love this smell. It's so funny how smells, they just make you remember things. Dimitri on Maximillian.
Brooke: Well, Dimitri loved riding.
Alex: Yes, I know. Back home he took me riding by the seaside. That was a beautiful day. We walked along the sand and we rode the carousel. It was playing such a lovely tune. And then we had the greasiest fish and chips. We went back on the train. And I fell asleep on his shoulder just as the sun was going down. And his coat smelled of sea salt and cigars.
Brooke: Those
are wonderful memories. Alex: Not enough of them, though. We were going to come here for our honeymoon.
Brooke: You know, maybe it was a mistake to bring you down here.
Alex: No. No. He told me so many things about this place in such great detail that it kind of feels like home. This is where he used to come to brood. That's a trait that he shares with his brother, isn't it?
Brooke: Well, Edmund can be intense at times, yes.
Alex: How well do you know him?
Brooke: We run "Tempo" magazine together, and we've been close friends for a long time.
Alex: I wish I could help him deal with his loss.
Brooke: I don't think anyone can help Edmund right now.
Alex: But Dimitri loved him so much. I feel that, in honor of my husband, I ought to try.

Edmund's voice: You're all comfy up there on the high ground. You own that turf, too?
Dimitri: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Edmund. I own the whole world. See, I'm a demagogue of power, hungry demagogue just like my father. So come on, man. Get up and fight. I'm ready.
Edmund: You're ready? You're ready to shed some blood? Why don't you go get a tire iron. I'll just lie here and wait.
Dimitri: You know what you are? You are a shell of a man floating on a sea of bitterness, envy --
Edmund: They call me lyrical?
Dimitri: Blaming everyone for what you lack, which is guts. You're not a man! You stand aside, man. You judge. You throw cheap shots out at people. Then you hide right behind the nearest petticoat.
Edmund: What the hell kind of way is that to talk to your little brother?

Edmund's voice: No, I didn't say it was a stupid idea.
Dimitri: Why can't you just once let someone take the first step?
Edmund: It's a very generous offer.
Dimitri: Yes, it is. Think about it.
Edmund: It'll never work.
Dimitri: Well -- and you say I'm stubborn? You see, I think you see the worst in yourself right here. Now, like it or not, Edmund, we are brothers. And we have both -- we have both wasted a lot of time and messed up too many lives not to take what's left seriously.
Edmund: Look, I don't do well with lectures, all right?
Dimitri: We are brothers, Edmund. Now, you can't wish that away. You can't cancel it out. Now, maybe just once we could -- we could have some good come out of this unholy mess.

[Laughter]

Dimitri's voice: Edmund and I, oh, we share the misfortune of having been raised without the love and support of a warm and embracing clan. We have only recently discovered all the joy of belonging. That's why the marriage of the Maricks and the Santoses is such a coup for us. That's why, Maria, it's so important to me that you're going to love Edmund for all his life. You're also bringing to the Maricks something that we've never had. Everyone -- to family.

Edmund: Not you, Dimitri. I can't lose you, too.
Edmund: Ahem. I was -- I was remembering when Dimitri laid me out flat and -- and the uneasy truce and peace that we had. And then finally it was Maria who brought us together as a family.
Jack: I got to tell you, buddy, I don't know how you're handling this.
Edmund: Telling the kids is the killer.
Jack: Yeah.
Edmund: When -- when Maria died, I -- I had to tell Sammy that she was sleeping with the angels, and he asked if she had wings. Maddie was just a baby. As far as she knows, Maria's always been at home in heaven, you know? At night she asks -- when she says her prayers, she asks Maria to bless us. Jack, is anybody up there listening?
Jack: I don't know, Edmund. I'd certainly like to think so.

Brooke: You know, at first, I mean, both Dimitri and Edmund felt betrayed, naturally, you know, by Hugo. But -- well, they were more alike than even they wanted to admit. I mean, they -- they would have given their lives for each other. And Edmund has always loved, you know, with his whole heart and his soul.
Alex: He loved you?
Brooke: In another lifetime, yeah. Anyway, the -- Maria was the true love of his life. I'm sure Dimitri must have told you about her.
Alex: Yeah. She was his wife.
Brooke: Maria was much more than Edmund's wife. I mean, when she died, I didn't think Edmund was ever going to get over it. I mean, she still is the love of his life. And now this with Dimitri -- you know, it's just life can be very cruel.
Alex: I hope that Edmund doesn't feel I was being purposefully cruel by denying his request for an autopsy. Knowing the cause of death -- it doesn't make your grief any less.
Brooke: I just think when someone who's close to you dies suddenly, you try and understand the tragedy. You know, Edmund may never know why his brother had to die, but knowing what happened to Dimitri I think is -- it's a tradeoff.
Alex: I wish I could give him the answers he's longs for.
Brooke: You know, you were Dimitri's wife. You -- you were just starting out your lives together. You must feel very cheated.
Alex: You go where life leads you, don't you? It's led me here. I'm really grateful for that. And your kindness.

Donald: So, Jerry Reeves paid me for the photos. But he didn't tell me what he was going to do with them, and I didn't ask. There. That's my half of the bargain. Now it's your turn.
David: Good show, Donnie. I give it one thumb up.
Donald: No, come on, please. Time is running out. Give me the antidote.
David: I'm getting to it.
Vanessa: Oh, for God sakes, David! Give the man the damn drug!
David: You know, Mother, most mothers dream of their sons growing up to be doctors. How would you like to take a rotation, Mum?
Vanessa: What?
David: Let's pretend it's take your mother to work day and you get to be me. Your co-conspirator is dragged into the ER With a life-threatening case of strychnine poisoning.
Vanessa: Dav--
David: It's your job to save his scaly hide.
Donald: Oh, please, will one of you save me?
Vanessa: If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting --
David: Shoot him up or ship him out.
Vanessa: David, have you lost your mind completely? Honest -- ah!
David: Your call, Mother. Life or death? Once again, a man's fate is in your hands.
Vanessa: I can't --
Vanessa: David, I can't do this. Needles make me so nervous. But you can't stand by and watch a man die!
David: I watched my father die, and I was powerless to help him.
Vanessa: I can't --
David: You have the power, Vanessa.
Donald: Oh, for God's sakes, Vanessa, do what he says!
Vanessa: All right. What do I do?
David: Take the needle.
Vanessa: Yes.
David: Stick it into the vial and pull up on the plunger. That's right. Go ahead, pull it up.
Vanessa: Ok, ok.
David: Uh-huh, very good. Now take the needle out of the vial and press on the plunger so the antidote squirts out of the needle. An air bubble could take you just like that.
Donald: Hurry. Ah!
Vanessa: Oh!
David: What's the hurry? You have -- whoa, 10 seconds.
Donald: 10 Seconds?
David: Go ahead, mother. Do your stuff.
Vanessa: Take your coat off.
David: Seven --
Vanessa: Take your coat off! I don't know!
David: Six, five, four --
Vanessa: Hurry up!
Donald: Come on!
David: Three --
Donald: Hurry, hurry!
David: Two --
Donald: Forget it! I'll do it myself!
David: One --
Vanessa: Oh, my God.
David: Oop! Time's up. Sorry, Donald. You're a dead man.

Gillian: Dimitri was coming back from Europe to introduce his wife to the family. But he never made it. One minute we were getting ready to celebrate, and now Edmund's planning his funeral. And I never even had the chance to say good-bye or thank him for his kindness.
Jake: You can do it right now. I mean, at work, I deal with death and loss every so often, and it's hard for the families to struggle with letting go. But sometimes it's -- it's good for you if you just speak from your heart.
Gillian: You mean like a prayer?
Jake: Yeah. Yeah, like a prayer.
Gillian: One time when I was 8 years old, my father and my stepmother had a fancy dress ball, and I was banished my nursery.
Jake: Poor little princess.
Gillian: Yeah. I felt very sorry for myself. I threw myself on the bed. And then there was a knock on the door. And it was Dimitri in his full-dress uniform. And he asked me if I would have the first dance with him. And there was the most beautiful, smashing man I've ever seen in my whole life. And me in my slippers and my nightgown, standing on his feet and waltzing in my room. And I just felt like the princess of the ball.
Jake: You were a princess.
Gillian: I had a title, but I never felt like a real princess, and he did that for me, you know? And I'll always be thankful for that.
Jake: Thanks for sharing that.
Gillian: Oh, Jake. What am I going to do without Dimitri? He always made me feel so -- so safe. You know, no matter how -- how bad my problems were, he would always be there for me. And what -- what if I never feel that way again?
Jake: Come here.

Edmund: His death was so sudden. You know, maybe if I had some kind of warning, more time.
Jack: Don't. Don't do this, Edmund. Don't torture yourself thinking there's something you could have done to save Dimitri's life.
Edmund: I got to find out what happened on that plane, Jack.
Jack: Well, you've heard Alexandra's version.
Edmund: According to Alexandra, Dimitri just keeled over and died. Now, how the hell did that happen?
Jack: Is there some reason you believe that it couldn't have happened that way?
Edmund: I don't know. I don't know. I just -- I just don't -- I don't believe it. I don't believe any of this. Marriage is -- is huge. How do you just keep a wife like a secret?
Jack: Well, it would be nice if you could find some comfort in the fact that Dimitri found someone to love.
Edmund: Yeah, found somebody to love for the rest of his life -- like five minutes.
Jack: Alexandra became his widow on their honeymoon, Edmund. You can see it's had its effect on her.
Edmund: Yeah, but look closer.
Jack: What do you think you see?
Edmund: I don't know. I'm just talking out loud here, but I would bet my life that there is more to this story than she is letting on.

Brooke: How did you and Dimitri connect?
Alex: A mutual friend.
Brooke: Had you known each other very long?
Alex: Not nearly long enough.
Brooke: I'm sorry, really. I -- you know, it's -- it's none of my business.
Alex: No. Dimitri was incredibly fond of you.
Brooke: He was a very good friend.
Alex: If I said it was love at first sight, I'd be lying. We had our first fight on our first date -- something of a food fight.
Brooke: You're joking.
Alex: We didn't actually lob any food at each other, but we got into this argument about mutton.
Brooke: Mutton?
Alex: Yeah. We British are very fond of a roast leg of lamb. And this restaurant that we were at, it happens to be famous for mutton. And Dimitri said that he would prefer to eat a pair of smelly old socks.
Brooke: So, of course, you did not order the mutton.
Alex: Yes, I did. Ordered a double portion, and I chewed every mouthful 25 times, and the meal went on for hours. We closed the restaurant.
Brooke: Listen, you know, I actually -- I'm in London on business fairly regularly. You'll have to give me the name and the address of the restaurant.
Alex: Simpson's on the Strand.
Brooke: No. I was there. I was just there on business. They have the best sherry trifle I have ever had in my life.

[Knock on door]

Brooke: Excuse me. Yes.
Delivery man: Mrs. Marick?
Alex: Yes.
Delivery man: I have a package for you.
Brooke: I can take it. Thanks. Thank you. Doesn't seem to be a return address. Hmm.

[Music box plays]

Alex: "Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be."

[Music stops]

Alex: If I lose it now, I won't be able to do what has to be done.
Brooke: You know, if you need any help planning the memorial service, you know, I'm available
Alex: Thank you.
Brooke: Alex, you know, when you and Dimitri were together before you were married, was there ever any mention that he -- that his health wasn't good?
Alex: What happened on the plane was a total shock.

[Telephone rings]

Brooke: Excuse me. It's probably Edmund calling from the main house. Hello? Yes, she is. Just a moment. It's for you.
Alex: Hello? Oh, hi. Can you just hold on a sec? It's a -- it's a friend of mine from home.
Brooke: I'll just have Peggy bring your things down here. And really, you know, if there's -- if there's anything you need, just give me a call.
Alex: Thank you. Thank you for everything you've done.
Brooke: Take care.

Alex: Sean? Did you get my message? It was horrible. Dimitri -- he collapsed on the plane. Yes. It was much worse than his last episode. I had to make a life-and-death decision.

Edmund: There's something about Dimitri's wife that just doesn't ring true.
Jack: Your brother loved her. I'm assuming that must count for something.
Edmund: Yeah. Yeah, it does. It -- if I could count right now. I can't keep track of anything right now, Jack. I'm -- ahem. My brain is telling me just to eat and be strong for the children and put one foot in front of the other, and I'm having a hard time just walking. I feel like I'm in this hole and I don't have my brother here to reach down and just pull me back up.
Brooke: Are you ok?
Edmund: Remember New Year's Eve? What was it, last year, the year before? The time that I convinced my brother to shoot me. It was right here. I mean, he didn't know I was using blanks, you know. And I remember his face when I got up. I wish -- I wish his casket would just, like, pop open and Dimitri would come out and go -- [Imitating Dimitri]

"Got you. We're even."

[Normal voice] I promise I wouldn't be mad.

Brooke: I know you wouldn't.
Edmund: How are Sam and Maddie?
Brooke: They're asleep, so --
Edmund: Oh, I envy them.
Brooke: Listen, Edmund. I hope you don't mind. I took Alexandra down to the hunting lodge. She'd like to stay there if that's ok with you.
Brooke: You know, I know that it was a shock to all of us that Dimitri had a wife. But she really is a lovely woman.
Jack: What did you two talk about?
Brooke: Well, I mean, Dimitri, mostly. Edmund? You should have seen her face when she walked into the hunting lodge. I mean, it was heartbreaking when she said that, you know, it was the place that Dimitri told her he always thought of as home.
V Edmund: The hunting lodge?
Brooke: Is that so surprising?
Edmund: Well, at the airport, Alex said that Dimitri thought of Vadzel as his true home, and, I mean, that's why the plane -- they tried to turn the plane around with the pilot. That was his last request -- to die at home.
Brooke: Well, I mean, it's possible that Dimitri loved both places equally.
Edmund: Yeah. It's also possible my brother's wife doesn't have her story straight.

Vanessa: David, is he -- is he?
David: Dead?
Vanessa: Well --
David: Why don't you check for yourself?
Vanessa: Oh, my God!
Donald: Ah! Oh!
Vanessa: He's alive, he's alive. Thank God.
Donald: Oh, I am? I am?
David: Hallelujah!
Vanessa: What? What?
David: I really had you two going there, didn't I?
Donald: Oh --
Vanessa: This is vicious. This is heartless! David --
Donald: Are you trying to tell me that pate wasn't poisoned?
David: Well, you catch on fast, Donnie boy.
Donald: I got half a mind to sue you for all you're worth, pal.
David: For what? Admittedly, the pate wasn't imported, but that's only a crime in my mother's circle.
Donald: You mark your words. You're going to pay for this!
David: Oh, you go ahead and try. As long as you don't write another word about Erica, or else I'll show that videotape to the police. It's a crime to sell stolen property. You could spend the next five years in Statesville writing the advice column for the prison newsletter. "Dear bubba, my boyfriend doesn't understand me." Oh, get the hell out of here and be happy you're alive.
Vanessa: That poor man. I'm afraid this time he's in for even a longer stint at Oakhaven.
David: Yeah, well, you better pray that they put him in a padded cell and throw away the key because his five years in the jug will get you 10.
Vanessa: David, you wouldn't really let me rot in jail. Would you?
David: No.
Vanessa: I knew it. Listen, darling --
David: I have a worse fate in mind for you, Vanessa. If you hurt Erica again, you so much as look at her cross-eyed, and I will show this videotape to Palmer Cortlandt. He won't only tear up your meal ticket, he'll take the fork right out of your hand and stab you with it. Now, that is a sight that I would pay to see.
Vanessa: Oh.

[Knock on door]

Palmer: Vanessa.
Vanessa: Oh, Palmer, I am so glad you're still here because, well, I just had to drop by this little bon voyage --
Palmer: Your hands are shaking. What's the matter?
Vanessa: Well --
Palmer: Darling, sit down. Sit down over here. Come on now.
Vanessa: Oh.
Palmer: Now, you tell me what happened. Tell me what happened. I'll get you a drink.
Vanessa: Thank you. Thank you. Well, it all started -- I ran into that horrid Donald Steele downstairs in the hotel lobby. He told me that somehow he'd gotten his filthy hands on some more very unflattering pictures of Erica. Naturally, he wanted money.
Palmer: The man is a menace. He has to be stopped.
Vanessa: Well, just at that particular moment, David happened by, and that's when all hell broke loose.
Palmer: Uh-huh. Of course you were in the middle. Why didn't you call for me?
Vanessa: Thank you. Palmer, I was determine to clean up this mess all by myself. I convinced David that no price was too large to pay to protect Erica. Somehow I was pretty persuasive because David agreed to pay off that vulturous little hack so he'd get out of town.
Palmer: Mm-hmm. How do you know he's not going to come back?
Vanessa: Oh. Well, I don't. But I did something very unladylike, and I'm almost blushed to tell you.
Palmer: Don't make me guess.
Vanessa: I told Donald Steele -- I said, "If you ever show your face in Pine Valley again, I will personally rip your head off and shove it right down your scrawny throat!"
Palmer: Whoa, whoa. Remind me not to get on your bad side.
Vanessa: You? Oh, darling -- Palmer, it's impossible. Impossible. Anyway, I wanted you to know because Erica's not going to be anyone we have to worry about right now. You can go off on your cruise, and you can have a wonderful time.
Palmer: Yeah. Well, I would if I got through with this blasted packing.
Vanessa: What? Well, let me.
Palmer: No, no, no, no, no.
Vanessa: No. Packing's a woman's job.
Palmer: No, you've got enough to do of your own.
Vanessa: Oh, honestly. Come on. Mine is all finished. I put in tennis gear. I put in evening gear, polo gear, you name it. And I'm going to remember to send you a couple of post cards if you don't mind.
Palmer: How long will you be gone?
Vanessa: Oh, with Don Eladio, who knows? It could be a week, a month, a year. He's plagued by the wanderlust, you know? And, of course, that's not the least of his vices.
Palmer: I see.
Vanessa: Well, there you are, my dear. You are all packed, ready to take off on your cruise. Have a wonderful time.
Palmer: Tell me something. When you were packing your gear, did you happen to include any cruise wear?
Vanessa: Well --

Jake: Listen, tomorrow I have to go off to a medical conference for a while. I was going to see my brother Jeff and my sister Tara afterwards, but I'll cut my trip short and come back if you --
Gillian: No. No, Jake. Don't give up the opportunity to see your family. I spent so much of my time crying about my stupid problems with Dimitri.
Jake: Well, but you -- you had that night where he made you feel like a princess. You just got to remember that.
Gillian: Yeah. Yeah, I'll always have that. I have to call my grandmother now and te her about Dimitri. It's going to break her heart.
Jake: Well, will it help you if I stay?
Gillian: Yes, please.
Jake: Ok. All right.

Brooke: When Alexandra cried, her tears said more about her feelings for Dimitri than her words ever could.
Edmund: You mean she actually broke down and cried?
Brooke: I mean, she held things together for the most part. But then there was a package that came for her from Dimitri. I think he must have sent it even before they left Europe.
Edmund: What package? What was in the package?
Brooke: It was a music box. I mean, obviously it was -- you know, it had sentimental value for both of them. I think she loved your brother very much, Edmund. And I hope that gives you some comfort.
Jack: Look, it's getting late. What do you say we go back up to the house?
Edmund: Listen, you guys run along. I'm just going to stay with Dimitri for a while.
Jack: Ok.

[Edmund tries to open Dimitri's coffin]

Edmund: It's sealed?

Vanessa: This is sudden, Palmer, and I'm actually afraid to accept it -- you know, in case you think I'm one of those women who's just out there looking for the main chance. It's --
Palmer: My, my, the thought never crossed my mind. Of course not. I invited you because I -- well, I enjoy your company.
Vanessa: Oh. Well, Don Eladio, is going to be, well, just furious with me.
Palmer: Tough. Yes, well, his loss is my gain.
Vanessa: Well, I give -- in? Up? You know, Palmer, your persuasive powers literally sometimes just leave me weak at my knees.
Palmer: All right. My car and driver are waiting. And I'll tell the desk to send somebody up for your luggage. And you can use the phone here to call your son and apprise him of your change in plans.
Vanessa: Oh, you know what?
Palmer: What?
Vanessa: I would really prefer to keep our little seafaring voyage kind of a secret between us -- you know, just for now.
Palmer: Would you?
Vanessa: Yeah.

Gillian: I'll make all the travel arrangements, Grandmama. I love you, to bye.
Jake: Hey. I don't take off until tomorrow. What do you say we break open a bottle of wine and drink a toast to Count Andrassy, huh?
Gillian: You're not on-call at the hospital?
Jake: No, no. I am here as long as you need me to be, all right?

Alex: Stop! Stop it right now!