Becca: Please, just tell me where it hurts.
Tad: Forget it. I am not some kind of guinea pig. DIXIE!
Becca: You don't have to shout the house down. I promise, I know what I'm doing. This has worked wonders. My Granny Tyree taught me all about herbs and everything, ok? So if you'll just sit back, I'll fix you right up.
Tad: If I could sit back, I wouldn't need fixing up.
Becca: Ok, look, this recipe has been in my family forever. It's made of eucalyptus, menthol, rose hips, teaberry --
Tad: Smells revolting. I am not drinking that.
Becca: Well, I hope not. It'd probably kill you. It's like a mustard plaster, a poultice. Just tell me where it hurts and I'll put it on there and I'll have you right as rain in no time.
Tad: Dixie!

Raquel: What you doing, sweetheart?
Max: Writing my name, like we practice in school.
Raquel: Hmm. You want to show me?
Max: I have the same name as my Daddy.
Raquel: Yeah, you sure do.
Max: When I'm big, I want everybody to call me Teo, like you call Daddy.
Raquel: It's a fine name to grow into.

[Knock on door]

Mateo: Knock, knock. Let me in.
Max: Daddy! Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin.
Mateo: Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your walls in! Hey, buddy.
You taking care of your mommy? Raquel: Both duty nurses say he's a terrific helper.
Hayley: Hey, Max. How was school today?
Max: I can write my name. See?
Mateo: Very good. Very good.
Raquel: Max, Hayley said hello. What do you
say back?
Max: Hi. Mateo: How you doing?
Raquel: Better, thanks.
Mateo: Good. You ready for bed?
Max: Will you read me a story?
Mateo: You bet. That's the plan.
Raquel: Isabella took him to the library after school.
Max: I got a whole bunch of books.
Mateo: Oh, yeah?
Max: Will you read it to me?
Mateo: Ooh. Absolutely. Listen, so I'll meet you down at the club and I'll catch up later?
Hayley: No, I don't mind waiting. It'll give Raquel and me a chance to talk, anyway.
Mateo: Ok.
Max: Night, Mommy.
Raquel: Good night, sweetheart. Oh, up here.
Mateo: Up, up, up.
Raquel: Sweet dreams, baby.
Mateo: Ok, let's hit the hay. Come on, let's go.
Hayley: Good night, Max.

Donald: Ah, Vanessa. I was just going to give you a ring. I hit a snag in chapter three.
Vanessa: Well, forget chapter three, because you almost blew our deal right off the bookstalls.
Donald: Well, excuse me?
Vanessa: Thanks to you, Erica's lawyer and his loony tune wife now know that we're writing this little expose.
Donald: Hey, look, I never met Erica's lawyer or his wife.
Vanessa: Well, Trevor and Janet Dillon were right here snooping under your very nose, my dear.
Donald: No, no, no. Aside from the maid and room service, my only visitors have been you and this very sleazy agent -- what's-his-name -- Sanrio -- Johnny Sanrio and his assistant, Venus. They want to sell the screen rights to our book.
Vanessa: That -- for heaven's sakes, that was nothing more than a ruse to gain access to our manuscript, my dear.
Donald: Well, you're kidding. That's impossible. I mean, they were crude. They were rude. It was totally holly-weird.
Vanessa: Yes, yes, and they went straight to Erica. So fortunately I had you write up those dummy chapters, my loving tribute to Erica Kane.
Donald: Oh, boy. Did Erica buy it?
Vanessa: She lapped it up like cream.
Donald: Well, hey, that's great. Then we are still in business.
Vanessa: Yes. Yes, but I do not have the queen's ear any longer because Erica kicked me out right onto the street.
Donald: Ah. Not the first time that's happened, huh? Yeah, look, doll, I've been doing my homework -- Vanessa Simms I think that's the name that Dore Schary gave you, wasn't it, during your contract years at M.G.M.? Oh, god, did I say years? Because according to my sources, your rising star burned out rather quickly.
Vanessa: How dare you.
Donald: We all need insurance, don't we? And this is mine -- you know, in the event that you're thinking of cutting me out of our little deal. So now I suggest that we try to get back to work, don't you think? Hmm, chapter three?
Vanessa: Hmm. Well, to hell with chapter three. Our spotlight's going to have a new direction. I think someone else needs to shine now. What are you waiting for, Donald? To your scratching pad.
Donald: Ooh. Who we going to disembowel now?
Vanessa: Erica's dear friend, Janet geen, the crowbar killer.

[Donald whistles]

Janet: Vanessa Bennett is a menace to society.
Trevor: She's a piece of work, I'll give you that.
Janet: You see it, I see it. What, is Erica blind?
Trevor: She needs her friends now.
Janet: She's got her friends -- me and Myrtle and Opal. Vanessa manages to drive a wedge between each one of us, hinting that I was juggling the books at enchantment.
Trevor: The audit took care of that.
Janet: Yeah, I know, but it made me look bad. I didn't win any points. Divide and conquer -- that's Vanessa's plan.
Trevor: Well, she thinks on her feet, we know that.
Janet: And she just happened to have a couple chapters of her book laying around. "When I came to Pine Valley, I had no idea that the fabulous Erica Kane would not only invite me into her home, but her heart as well."
Trevor: Prose verging on purple.
Janet: Unbelievable. Just wait till she reads the real book.
Trevor: Honey, honey --
Janet: The grand slam. Erica's going to be devastated.
Trevor: Sit down and eat your cake. It'll calm you down.
Janet: Cake will not calm. I can't eat. I can't sleep. And Vanessa's perfectly calm because she doesn't know who I am, what she's up against, and what she's dealing with.
Trevor: What is going on in that brain of yours?
Janet: I just don't like it when someone I care about gets hurt. I get mad. And when I get mad, I get even.

[Doorbell rings]

Brooke: Hi.
Janet: Brooke. Just the woman I wanted to see.

Adam: Hayward's disappearance has nothing to do with me.
Derek: This says otherwise.
Liza: What's that?
Derek: It's a letter from David Hayward, dated April 23, 1999.
Adam: Shouldn't you be somewhere searching for him instead of wasting our time?
Derek: You need to hear this. "If the police receive this letter, it means that I, David Hayward, am dead. The man responsible for my demise is Adam Chandler."
Adam: I did not kill David Hayward.

[Colby cries]

Liza: Would you mind? Do you mind?
Jake: No, I'll check.
Adam: How dare you come into my house -- are you making an accusation here, Derek?
Derek: No, I'm not the one doing the accusing.
Liza: My husband may be a lot of things, lieutenant, but a murderer is not one of them.
Adam: Just because you received a letter doesn't mean he's dead, does it?
Derek: We know that you're no saint. I was around when you staged your own kidnapping.
Adam: Damn it -- I did not kill David Hayward. I haven't seen the man in weeks. I hate him -- that's very common knowledge -- and on several occasions, I've wished him dead, but that doesn't make me a murderer.
Derek: Then how do you explain this letter?
Adam: It's probably a sick joke of David Hayward's.
Derek: No, it's no joke. This letter was hand-delivered by Hayward's attorney. It also says here that Liza Colby will know why you took out Dr. Hayward.
Liza: Oh, wait. I -- I received a letter from Leslie Coulson, David Hayward's attorney. She dropped it by. Maybe that'll clear everything up.

Tad: Ew. Look, just -- becca, don't get me wrong. I'm sure you're a wonderful kid. You know, Dixie thinks you're the greatest thing since the D.V.D., But my mother taught me never to take off my clothes in front of people I don't know. Unless that marinade is FDA.-Approved, I'm afraid I'm just going to have to pass.
Dixie: Let me guess -- Tad's giving you a hard time.
Tad: I am not.
Becca: Well, I have this remedy for his back, but he won't take his shirt off.
Dixie: You have to excuse my husband. We did just get back from our honeymoon.
Tad: Dixie's the only woman I go topless for.
Dixie: Aw, honey, that's so sweet of you to save yourself for me, but this medicine really works. Grandma Tyree's recipes are famous in the Hollow.
Becca: I use them on my shin splints.
Tad: You're a runner?
Becca: Mm-hmm. Pigeon Hollow High, varsity track and field.
Dixie: And editor of the school newspaper.
Tad: Well, with all due respect to your credentials, I think I'm just going to haul my aching back down to Kresler's Drugstore and get something that I know will work.
Becca: You'll be throwing your money away. I'm telling you, this stuff is the best thing for pain and muscle aches.
Tad: Ew.
Dixie: Or you could just be an end table.
Tad: I do the hands-on stuff.
Dixie: Hey, hey. You heard the man.
Tad: Mind giving me a hand here?

Brooke: Look, Janet, you know, we all know that Donald Steele has made his reputation writing trash and flash.
Janet: That's why he has to be stopped.
Brooke: There are other ways to stop him, all right? Erica could get an injunction. She has Enchantment's entire legal staff at her disposal.
Trevor: She doesn't perceive the danger. Vanessa has dazzled her with a couple of chapters of this bogus bio she's cooking up.
Janet: Makes era look like a cross between Joan of Arc and Mother Teresa.
Brooke: Well, ok, we all know that Donald Steele doesn't do saints. I mean, I can't tell you the number of years he's tried to get "Tempo" to write excerpts from his unauthorized biographies.
Trevor: Erica could sue for slander when the book comes out.
Janet: By then the damage will be done.
Trevor: We've sounded the warning how many times? Erica just is not listening.
Janet: That's why I'm going to go see Donald Steele myself. I'm going to tell him that there will be consequences. If he publishes, he perishes.

[Door closes]

Vanessa: Ok, now, listen to this.
Donald: Uh-huh?
Vanessa: All right, this vicious crime nearly -- well, it did hit all the national headlines, but every talk show line was absolutely jammed. People were asking, why did the young man have to die like this in a pool of blood? Answer -- Janet Green.
Donald: You're kidding me. And this is the same woman who was standing right here in this hotel suite?
Vanessa: Your Venus is nothing more than the mistress of disguises. Do you know what she did? She took over her sister's life, and I mean that literally. She put Natalie right down a well. She had everyone in this town believing that she was her sister.
Donald: Why did she do that? Why?
Vanessa: Well, Janet had a thing for Trevor.
Donald: Oh, man. He married her? I mean, knowing what she did to his wife?
Vanessa: Apparently, Trevor decided to let bygones be bygones. Golly, wasn't that sweet. But Janet -- oh, ho, oh, ho -- there's another story. You see, Janet hated her big sister so much because in Grammar School, Janet lost out to her big sister for the part of the Virgin Mary in the Christmas pageant. Oh!
Donald: That's great. There is no grudge too small.
Vanessa: No, no, one does not want to get in Janet Green's way. She will pay you back with interest. Ask Will Cooney.
Donald: Cooney, Cooney -- that's the guy that, what, the guy that got crowbarred, right?
Vanessa: Mm-hmm. Right. Well, to be fair, he did a few nasty things to her niece, you know, and, well, she does ferociously care about those she loves.
Donald: What's she doing walking the streets?
Vanessa: Well, seems the prison decided to give her some sort of parole if she would be the guinea pig for some sort of cosmetic procedure.
Donald: You're kidding me. That's our cracker-jack criminal system at work, huh?
Vanessa: Yes. She does say she's reformed, however. But did I tell you she threatened me?
Donald: You're kidding me. Did you call the police?
Vanessa: No. Why bother? I've seen death up close. When your number's up, it's up. Look, I -- I'm going to grab something to eat, Donald. I think I've given you enough to get started on, actually. So I'll just check back with you later, all right?
Donald: Mm-hmm.
Vanessa: Can't blame a girl for trying.
Donald: Vanessa, I am so ashamed of you.
Vanessa: Oh, I'm ashamed of myself.
Donald: This is great. "Crowbar killer." Ooh, yes, yes, yes.

Hayley: So you feeling better?
Raquel: Yeah, I'm getting there. A physical therapist is coming tomorrow. We're going to try and get me out of this bed.
Hayley: Careful you don't overdo it, you know.
Raquel: I won't.
Hayley: It's got to be hard, you know, being laid up with a, you know, spry little boy like Max to raise.
Raquel: Ah, my son has been quite a handful.
Hayley: You know,
change isn't easy for kids. Raquel: It's not easy for grownups, either.
Hayley: Yeah, about that -- you know, Mateo and I want to have a baby.
Raquel: Ye, Mateo told me. Is that what this is about? Are you pregnant?
Hayley: No, I'm not. And I won't be anytime soon. Dr. Erle feels that Max has enough to deal with right now without having to cope with a new baby brother or sister. So Mateo and I have agreed to not have a baby right away.
Raquel: You'd put your plans on hold for Max? For my son? I don't know what to say.
Hayley: Well, it was the right thing to do.
Raquel: Well, for Max, yes, but for you?
Hayley: I had a choice. I made the right choice.
Raquel: Hayley, sit down.
Hayley: You know, Max is hurting. And the simplest changes are hard for kids at this age.
Raquel: He'll make room for you. Once he's ready, he will.
Hayley: Oh, I'm no expert on childhood, Raquel. My childhood was miserable. I -- I just feel that children should be the center of the parents' universe, you know, and my mom revolved around a vodka bottle. And so I had to tuck her into bed at night and stay with her until she fell asleep.
Raquel: And there was nobody there to hear your prayers.
Hayley: Well, it's not about me. It's about Max. You know, he's got to get to a safe place, and we have to get him there. You know, and a new brother or sister is not going to help.
Raquel: That's what I told Mateo. He didn't listen to me. But he listened to you.
Hayley: I'm just following through with the doctor's recommendation.
Raquel: You didn't have to take her advice.
Hayley: Well, it was the right advice. I'm just telling you because I don't want you to worry. I want you to focus on getting better, you know, getting max better. And there has to be a place where he can feel safe and loved and nurtured.
Raquel: And we'll find that place. You won't have to wait forever.
Hayley: Funny, isn't it? Kids think that grownups know everything. Not me. I'm learning. But I -- I just -- I want Max to know -- what I need for Max to know is that we all love him, all of us, and we will all continue to love him no matter what.

Tad: Not for nothing, but how long is this supposed to take?
Dixie: Oh, would you give it a little time?
Becca: Dixie, is there some place I can wash up?
Dixie: Absolutely. The kitchen is right through there.
Becca: Ok, thanks.
Dixie: Make a left at Albuquerque. Oh, sweetie. The whole, like, Tyree family are known as healers. You are in good hands.
Tad: Yeah, well, don't count on me for a testimonial.
Dixie: Faith and patience work wonders, along with Grandma Tyree's herb mix.
Tad: You know, to tell the truth --
Dixie: Hmm?
Tad: I feel this kind of tingly sensation across the small of my back.
Dixie: Oh, really?
Tad: Yeah.
Dixie: Why don't you see if you could straighten up?
Tad: Already?
Dixie: Yeah.
Tad: Take that thing off.
Tad: Son of a gun. That's amazing. Hey, Ma, look at this. I'm standing up like the rest of the bipeds.
Becca: Well, it's a good thing because you made a lousy end table.
Tad: Huh.

Liza: Well, the letter -- the letter was just here. Erica, you saw it.
Erica: Yes, you were about to read it, and then we got to talking.
Liza: Right, and you took it from me.
Erica: And I returned it, right to that tray.
Derek: Well, maybe it blew off when Erica opened the door.
Liza: Well -- this is ridiculous. I don't see it.
Jake: See what?
Liza: A letter. I got a letter from the attorney for David Hayward. I didn't even get a chance to read it.
Adam: More libelous ravings, no doubt.
Jake: No, you can't sue anybody for telling the truth. Look, Derek, Adam's been trying to dig up dirt on David Hayward for weeks now.
Adam: Stay out of this, Jake.
Jake: And he asked me to help him. When I didn't, he had some private investigator trail me at the hospital.
Liza: Wait a minute. You said that you called that guy off.
Adam: I did call him off as soon as I got in touch with him. Darling, all I'm trying to do is keep Hayward out of our lives.
Jake: Because he has something on you, and you're trying to figure out a way to shut him up.
Adam: Don't -- don't take me the villain in this. Hayward tried to kill me. Liza exposed him and saved your career, didn't she? Now, this ludicrous letter-writing campaign is designed to get back at us.
Jake: Well, if you're right and Hayward is after you, then Colby isn't safe here.
Adam: I know how to protect my own family, Jake.
Jake: I don't want her living in a war zone. Liza, I want you and Colby to stay with my parents until this whole mess is cleared up.
Liza: Wait a second -- you're telling me that I need to leave Adam?
Jake: Yes. This place is crazy right now. I don't want -- there's too much stress for you.
Liza: I'm not leaving here, Jake. I'm not. I'm getting married to Adam tomorrow.
Jake: Not if he's going to jail, you're not.
Liza: Jake --
Adam: I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going, and neither is Colby or Liza.
Liza: You're the one who suggested that we stay here because it would be helpful to Colby to be away from germs and viruses and everything.
Jake: Yeah, but that's before he was involved in a murder.
Adam: I am not involved in a murder. For the last time, I did not kill did Hayward.
Jake: Well, you must've done something to him because he's gunning for you right now.
Adam: You should be grateful I've kept him at bay this long.
Jake: Why should I be grateful to you for anything? What have you ever done for me?
Adam: I gave you Colby.
Jake: Oh. Oh, visitation rights for my own daughter. Gee, what a prince.
Erica: Just stop it! Now, stop it, all of you. I have information that will settle this thing, once and for all.
Adam: Erica, what -- what information could you possibly have?
Erica: Information that will clear you as a murder suspect. I happen to know for a fact that David Hayward is alive.
Derek: Have you seen him?
Erica: No, I haven't.
Derek: Well, how do you know he's alive?
Erica: Because I received a phone call from him this afternoon.
Derek: Well, what exactly did he say?
Erica: Dr. Hayward said that he needed to take some time off, that he needed to rethink his life. But he assured me that he would return in time for my next checkup.
Jake: But that doesn't explain that letter.
Erica: Well, what Adam said is true. David Hayward is not the kind of person who forgives and forgets, and he left town last year in shame and he blames all of you.
Liza: Well, Derek, David has accused Adam of killing him. I mean, isn't there something we can do to make sure he doesn't do this again? I mean, press charges?
Erica: Oh, no, I would not press charges. David is extremely dangerous when he is provoked.

[Knock on door]

Donald: Go away.
Woman: Night maid, sir, here to turn down your bed.
Donald: That's all right. I'll take care of it myself.

[Door opens]

Janet: That's no way to treat a lady.
Donald: Well, if it isn't Venus. Or should I say Janet Dillon?
Janet: Oh, you can use any one of my aliases at random, but I prefer my maiden name. Donald: Yeah, mean Janet Green? Numbers cruncher by day, crowbar killer by night.
Janet: Good, you're familiar with my work. I'm flattered.
Donald: Yeah, I'm a true crime aficionado. Hey, maybe I could do a book about you, huh?
Janet: I think you've already started. Let's see. "A true sign of Erica Kane's diminished capacity is her relationship with convicted crowbar killer Janet green. One can only imagine the small talk that passes between them la Kane launching her comeback with a daring new look -- gargoyle chic -- while Ms. Green promos crowbars with the no-slip grip, signed and numbered. Look for her at your favorite home and gardening center. Or should I say, look out?" You know, you really haven't done me justice here.
Donald: Yeah, well, this is just a first draft, you know.
Janet: Have you ever actually held a crowbar?
Donald: Oh, jeez, no. I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of doing that, no.
Janet: Oh, they're very heavy, you see. You have to use your own body weight to counterbalance them. You know, most people think you just want to crack open someone's head, you come down with a whack. That's not true. There's technique involved. It involves lifting, turning, and following through. Lift, turn, follow through. You see, it's kind of a Zen thing. You become one with your crowbar.
Donald: You know what? If you'd be willing to tell me your story, we could collaborate. I mean, it'd be great.
Janet: I get top billing.
Donald: Oh, yeah, of course.
Janet: We'd have to start right at once.
Donald: Well, the minute I finish my manuscript over there, get it to my publisher, you know, I'm all yours.
Janet: No, no, no. Trash the trash or we have no deal.
Donald: Well, all right, yeah, I could probably, you know, juggle a couple projects at the same time. That's not a big deal.
Janet: No, no, no. Drop the Erica book before I drop you.

Raquel: Hayley, I want to thank you again for -- for the sacrifice you're making.
Hayley: You gave something up, too. I guess that's what moms do.
Mateo: He's out.
Raquel: Thank you for putting him to bed. He loves it when you read to him.
Mateo: Where's the night nurse?
Raquel: She ran to the drugstore. She'll be back in a second.
Mateo: What if you need something?
Raquel: I have the phone and her pager number.
Mateo: Ok. You're all set. Let's go to work.
Hayley: Ok, yep.
Mateo: Ok. Hey, tell Max I'll swing by for breakfast.
Raquel: I will.
Mateo: All right.
Hayley: Good night.
Raquel: Good night,
Hayley -- and thank you.
Max: Mommy! Daddy! Help me!
Mateo: It's ok, it's ok.
Raquel: Max, sweetheart, did you have a bad dream? What was it about?
Mateo: I'm trying to get him to tell me. Hey, buddy, listen, it's ok to have a bad dream because bad dreams aren't real. You know, they can't hurt you.
Max: I was at a magic show. Mateo: Like we just read in the story? Was Houdini there?
Max: It was her.
Raquel: Hayley was at the magic show?
Max: She put daddy in a box and said the magic words and made daddy disappear. When I asked her to bring him back, she laughed at me and said he's never coming back. She stole him.
Hayley: Max -- honey, listen to me -- I know you're scared that you're going to lose your daddy, but I promise you on my word of honor I will never take him away from you. I would never do that -- never.
Mateo: I -- I think I should stay.
Hayley: I agree.

Adam: Oh, Derek, are you satisfied that no crime has been committed? David Hayward is lamentably but unmistakably alive.
Derek: And he's got a lot of explaining to do. Did he tell you where he was calling from?
Erica: No, I have no idea where David Hayward is, and I don't care.
Derek: Look, Erica, why didn't you just tell me where Hayward -- that Hayward was alive when I first walked in the door?
Erica: Well, when I was married to Adam, I always liked to see him sweat. So old habits die hard.
Derek: Well, if you hear from him again, would you mind asking him to call the PVPD, please? I'm sorry to bother you folks. Adam.
Liza: Well, I suppose that solves our daily murder mystery.
Adam: Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use a drink.
Jake: So that's it? David's had his fun, so we resume our regular programming?
Liza: No, no, no, no. Thatt is not it. Since we have an impressionable young mind here, I think we should just stop all conversation when it comes to politics, religion, and David Hayward. He's annoying. I want him banished from our lives.
Adam: Hear, hear.
Liza: And thank you for bringing the dress by for Colby.
Jake: Oh, any excuse to see my beautiful daughter.
Liza: You don't need an excuse.
Jake: Mm-hmm, as long as I don't mention you-know-who.
Liza: Mm-hmm, you got it.
Jake: All right. Good night. Good night, Erica.
Erica: Good night.
Liza: I'm going to go check on Colby.

Erica: Well, aren't you going to thank me?
Adam: For what? Letting me twist in the wind?
Erica: Oh, you put the noose around your neck that day in the fertility clinic.
Adam: So you keep reminding me.
Erica: So you'd better be nice to me, Adam, or I might just remember what happened to that letter from David Hayward. Oh. Look what I found.

Donald: You're going to have to leave, all right? This is totally inappropriate.
Janet: You haven't seen anything yet, honey.
Donald: If you don't go, I'm going to call the front desk.
Janet: Really?
Donald: Whoa!
Janet: You want to hear my terms now?
Donald: Hey, look, you can work on the book, you know, with me, all right? You can take care of Erica's issues.
Janet: Are you kidding me? Is there some kind of glitch in your hard drive or something? What is your problem? There is no book. It's over, finished, deleted, kaput.
Donald: Listen to me, Janet, look, I've already spent the advance, all right?
Janet: Well, that would be your problem. I suggest you save your pennies and pay it back. And don't tell me that you can't get blood out of a turnip, because I can get blood out of anything.
Donald: Calm down, will you? Calm down! What, are you nuts or something? What's wrong with you?
Trevor: What's going on, babe? You in there?
Donald: Hey, get in here, will you? Get her out of here.
Trevor: Stand back! I'm coming in! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Whoa, what's going on here?
Janet: I told you I was going to take care of this myself.
Trevor: Sweetheart, give it up with the stick. The party's over.
Janet: No, never.
Brooke: Listen, Donald, are you all right?
Donald: Yeah, I'm fine. I had to hold her off till you got here.
Brooke: Listen, Janet doesn't mean any harm. It's just that she has these episodes. I trust I can trust you to be discreet.
Donald: That's my middle name. And meanwhile, you'll figure out a way for me to get in bed with "Tempo," right?
Brooke: Just as soon as I've changed the sheets. Meanwhile, everything that happens here today is off the record?
Donald: Yeah, hey,
Brooke, could you get real, all right? I got a fallen idol and a crowbar queen. I'm going to hit the bestseller list at number one.
Janet: Not if I hit you first!
Brooke: No, no, no! He's joking! He's joking! Tell her that you're joking!
Donald: Oh, I'm just kidding. You know, I'm joking. You heard what she was saying.
Brooke: Trevor, get her.
Trevor: I got her, I got her.
Brooke: Janet! Janet, come on, come on, think of your family. Think of Amanda. Stop it.
Trevor: Oh, baby, baby, baby. What did you do?
Trevor: She's dead. You killed her.
Janet: And you didn't see a thing.
Donald: No, I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything. No.

Vanessa: Donald, what's -- what's going --
Donald: I'm saving my life. Mean Janet Green strikes again.
Trevor: One down, one to go.

Tad: He walks.
Dixie: He talks. He crawls on his belly like a serpent.
Tad: I got to hand it to you, you and your Grammy Tyree's whatever-it's-called -- I feel a lot better. Thanks.
Becca: You're welcome. I'm just glad that I could help. Now, is there someplace I could call home and tell them I got here in one piece?
Dixie: Oh, sure, yeah, but, you know, Tad and I would absolutely love it if you would stay for a couple of days. Isn't that right, Tad?
Tad: Oh, yeah.
Becca: Well, I don't want to be in the way.
Dixie: Oh, you wouldn't be. Absolutely not.
Becca: Well, I'll have to do something to earn my keep.
Dixie: Please, with Tad's back and two galumphing boys? We'll wear you out.
Becca: Well, is there someplace I can stock up on my roots and herbs?
Dixie: Yes, there is Wildwind. It's very close to here. They have a lot of territory, lots of flowers and herbs and roots, I'm sure. I'll give them a call and check with them. Welcome to Pine Valley!

Max: Is it ok if I could color with my markers?
Raquel: Hmm -- just till the Sandman comes, ok?
Max: Will you make me a picture?
Raquel: Sure. Let me just move, because my back's -- Teo, would mind --
Mateo: Yeah, I'll be right there. Hey, listen, listen, I'm really sorry about this, ok?
Hayley: No, no, no, it's ok. He can't help what he dreams. I mean, nobody can help what they dream.
Mateo: I'll be right there after --
Hayley: Just take care of your son, really.
Raquel: I just need my pillow moved, just a bit.
Mateo: Yeah. How's that?
Raquel: Oh, that's -- yeah, that's much better. I feel like a sack of potatoes here.
Mateo: You're not a sack of potatoes.
Raquel: Thank you, sweetheart.
Max: I'm going to draw an elephant.
Raquel: Hmm.
Mateo: How about you draw an elephant with your pajamas on?
Raquel: How about you draw an elephant with your pajamas eating a bagel?

Adam: Give me that.
Erica: And what will you give me in exchange?
Adam: My undying gratitude.
Erica: Oh, please. You owe me a lot more than that for saving your callous hide.
Adam: Do you know where Hayward is?
Erica: Well, even if I did, I'm not sure I'd tell you.
Adam: You two are in on this together, aren't you?
Erica: I just saved your marriage. But you know what? It's not too late for me to change my mind. Oh, Liza?
Adam: Shh, shh, shh.
Erica: Look, I found David's letter.
Adam: Erica --

[tape rewinds]

[answering machine beeps]

Erica's voice: Call me right away.
Erica: So you still want to tell Liza that Adam is the father of her baby? You still want to blow this thing wide open. You live for it, don't you? David, you're consumed with thoughts of destruction. And why? I mean, you want to ruin them just to make them pay?
David: Yes!
Erica: For what, David? Just because they one-upped you? Just because they beat you? Just because they had a little power over you, like I did? David, take it from one who knows -- it is very unsatisfying, that kind of revenge. And if it's victory you're after, believe me, it's hollow.

Erica's voice: David, if you are there, pick up the phone. You could at least return my phone calls.

[Answering machine beeps]

David: I can do even better than that