Mateo: Thank you for letting me tag along on your shoot like that. It was nice.
Hayley: What was your favorite part of Jamaica this time?
Mateo: Oh, it would have to be Ocho Rios. You know that means "Eight Rivers."
Hayley: I know.
Mateo: Yeah, I know. And we made love in all eight of them. You know, I think we should honeymoon in Minnesota.
Hayley: Minnesota?
Mateo: Yeah, you know, because it's the land of a thousand --
Hayley: Lakes.
Mateo: Lakes.
Hayley: I just wish we didn't have to cut our trip short by a day.
Mateo: Well, you know, you have all that important editing to do.
Hayley: Yeah, but I'm not ready to face reality yet. I'm not ready to see that woman. Oh, that woman!
Mateo: You mean your mother?
Hayley: Oh.
Mateo: Well, if that woman -- maybe she used those plane tickets we left her.
Hayley: I'm sure she just cashed them in.
Mateo: Yeah. Well, if she did, I'll deal with it. Don't worry. Ok?
Hayley: Ok. I won't.

[Music plays]

[Telephone rings]

[Turns volume down]

Arlene: Hula. Dillon residence.
Man: Hello. This is Frank Tobin from "Vanity Day" magazine. May I speak with Hayley Vaughan, please?
Arlene: Oh, I'm not expecting Hayley -- did you say "Vanity Day"?
Frank: That's right.
Arlene: I love your magazine.
Frank: Could you tell me when I could speak with Ms. Vaughan? I'm in town with a photographer. I'd like to do a story on her and her television show.
Arlene: Oh, well, I'm Hayley's mother, and I'm not expecting her back -- well, until a half-hour from now, so why don't you come over and start getting set up? Great, we're at 312 Pine Street. Turn left at the Lutheran church, and there we are. Wait till my girlfriends back home see me in the next issue in living color. It'll be good for Hayley, too.

Leo: Adam gave me orders. I found Paolo and hired him to seduce your mother. But I swear to you that I didn't know he was going to drug her. I'm just thankful that nothing else happened.
Liza: You sure about that?
Leo: Paolo isn't a rapist. He romances women, and Marian wasn't interested. He used the drug just to make it look like something happened so he'd get paid.

[Stops tape]

Marian: Oh.
Liza: You see? You see, there's nothing to worry about.
Marian: Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God, Liza, he never touched me. Talk about feeling relieved. I know Stuart will, too. Stuart. He's got to see this tape right away because it proves that Adam is guilty.
Liza: Wait, wait, wait, wait, mother. Just hold on.
Marian: No, no, no. He swore he had nothing to do with this, and it proves that he was lying. Now, I want to make him pay for this right now, Liza.
Liza: All right, Mother. Do you want Adam's punishment to be short, quick, and now? Or would you like his punishment to be long, painful, and lingering?
Marian: The latter. Definitely the latter.
Liza: Then we need to plan an appropriate course of action and when I get done with Adam, he's going to be begging for mercy.
Marian: Liza, you're holding out on me. You've already got a plan. Don't you?

Tad: All right, you just make sure you get the shadows of the bars across my face, right? Then you angle, you step back, you get a clean shot, just like we talked about, ok?
Scott: Right.
Tad: Scott -- just like we talked about.
Adam: Do you have permission to do this?
Tad: Don't tell me my job, ok? I got all the permission I need.
Adam: Oh, fine, as long you don't mind humiliating yourself. Go ahead.
Tad: Adam, my new show is about getting to know people, you know, who they are, what they really think. This is a good place for that. Prison is the great equalizer. Just think of it as a day in the life of the common inmate.
Adam: You're a fool to publicize what's happened to you.
Tad: I don't mind.
Adam: No matter how you put it, how you explain it, once you put it on tape, in the public's eyes, you're a common criminal -- a petty common criminal. Is that the way you want America to see you?
Tad: Nope. That's the way I want America to see you. Hit it, Scott.

Marian: So, my darling, tell me your plan -- and I hope it's truly horrible.
Liza: Well, I don't have any of the details yet, and I can't do anything until Adam's out of jail.
Marian: How? The judge said he's going to keep him in there for the rest of his life.

[Doorbell rings]

Liza: Oh, that should be Jackson.
Jack: Hi.
Liza: Hi. Well?
Jack: Well, turns out your confidence in Adam signing those divorce papers was a bit misplaced. He flatly refused. Thank you.
Liza: All right.
Jack: "All right"? That's very Zen of you, but you realize this means a court battle now. Hi, Marian.
Marian: Hello, Jack.
Liza: I've had some second thoughts since you and I last talked.
Jack: About ending your marriage?
Liza: Oh, no. No, I'm going to get a divorce, but first I'm going to make him pay for everything he did to me and everybody that he hurt that I care about.
Jack: Well, count me in. Just remember, my actions are limited by the US. Constitution and the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.
Liza: I need to get him out of jail.
Jack: Well, to do that he's going to have to apologize to the judge that put him in there for contempt to start with, and then he's going to have to convince that judge that he and Tad have learned to play well with together.
Liza: I could maybe persuade him to do that.
Jack: Ok. Then you're going to have to refuse to cooperate with the DA's office on this sperm-switching case.
Liza: I just tell them I'm pulling out?
Jack: In a manner of speaking, yes. Problem is, you are a material witness. Your testimony -- well, they could compel you to testify. Unless, of course, you say that you had conjugal relations with Adam. And he is, after all, your husband.
Liza: Oh.
Marian: But why should she admit to doing such an unpleasant thing?
Jack: Because that way Adam can claim that this baby was conceived in the normal way, and then the state doesn't have a case.
Liza: I could just say I was embarrassed to come forward and admit it and that I don't really relish the idea of the father of my child behind bars.
Marian: Are you sure there's no other way of doing this?
Jack: Well, this is the easiest way -- not, necessarily, that your lawyer should be telling you that, but --
Liza: Well, if it works, I can do it. But I need to get Tad out of jail.
Jack: Ok, to get those charges dropped, Adam is going to have to say that he did, in fact, sign his name to the bottom of that check.
Marian: Yeah, but Stuart signed all of those checks.
Jack: Adam's going to have to take the rap for it, and he's going to have to say that he meant to give all that money away. I don't suppose there's much chance he'd do that.
Liza: Then again, he might.

Tad: Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. This is "Nothing But The Truth," coming to you directly from the Pine Valley lockup, where none other than Adam Chandler, President and CEO of Chandler Enterprises, is doing time for contempt of court.
Adam: Turn that thing off. Turn it off.
Tad: That's right, ladies and gentlemen, instead of spending his nights in the lap of luxury, this multimillionaire is cooling his heels in the clink.
Adam: Scott, I want you to give me that camera. Give it to me.
Tad: Trust me, folks, his word may be law out on Wall Street, but in here it falls on deaf ears.
Adam: Guard! Oh, oh so sorry. Guard! Guard! This is an outrage.
Tad: I think the real relevant question is, has prison made Adam Chandler violent or has his innate violence resulted in prison?
Adam: Scott -- Scott, I'm telling you, I want you to give me that camera!
Scott: I'm sorry, Uncle Adam, but Tad's my boss now.
Adam: Yeah, well, he's -- just going to be a -- a dead boss because I'm going to kill him!
Tad: The real man becomes evident in cramped quarters. Get a shot of the toilet. Get a shot of the toilet. Denied his dignity, Chandler has turned into a complete animal! Ow! The all-powerful power broker has completely popped!
Adam: Turn that off! Just turn that off!
Tad: Oh, the humanity! He's going to kill me! Get him off of me! Get him off me! He's insane! This is Tad Martin for "Nothing But The Truth"! Not the face! Oh!
Adam: Come on, get up! Get up, stupid! Come on! Give me the camera. Turn that thing off! Turn it off now!

Guard: Hey, hey, knock it off!
Adam: Just give me one more shot at you.
Derek: Hey, turn that off now!
Adam: Come on, big man! Come on!
Derek: Get back over there! What is wrong with you two?
Adam: Did you give him permission to shoot footage in here?
Derek: What? No! You can't shoot video in here. This is a security area.
Adam: Ha! He said he got permission.
Tad: Shove it, Chandler. You ever heard of the first amendment?
Adam: Put him in the hole!
Derek: Ok, quiet! Give me that tape!
Derek: Shut them up in there.

Dixie: Oh, excuse me. What's going on? Tad, honey, are you ok? Did Adam hurt you?

Adam: Oh, oh, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, I'm having a heart attack.

David: $12 Tip for an $18 check. No wonder Palmer doesn't want you signing off on your tabs.
Leo: Look, why don't you stay out of this, David.
David: A 25% tip for lunch is more than generous, Leo.
Leo: I'm a big tipper. What do you care?
David: I don't. Let's just say that $7 will do the trick.
Leo: I can figure my own tips, and I will tip however much I damn well please.
Hey, what are you doing here? Somebody's going to remember you.
Paolo: What's the matter with you? Remember me? Aw,, you flatter me, huh? But I am here to meet the enchanting Erica Kane.
Leo: Are you crazy? You actually think that you can land Erica Kane?
Paolo: Think? Did you say the word "think"? Buddy, we had dinner already, ok? I'm halfway home.
Leo: Well, it's dangerous and it's foolish, but what the hell. Knock yourself out.
Paolo: I intend to.

David: No, actually, Joe, I'm glad that you wanted to have lunch here. I can certainly do without the meat loaf at the hospital cafeteria.
Joe: Well, I didn't suggest the inn because of the menu. I wanted to get away from the hospital because we need to discuss the progress of the Andrassy Foundation -- or, should I say, the lack of progress.
David: Well, if I'm going to be called on the carpet, Joe, don't you think that my co-director should be here?
Joe: Oh, I'm having lunch with Alex tomorrow.
David: Oh. Well, I'd remove any sharp objects if I were you.
Joe: Well, there you are. That remark's a perfect example of what I'm talking about, the animosity that exists between the two of you.

Erica: Joe. What a pleasant surprise, Joe.
Joe: Erica, how are you?
David: Hello, Erica.
Erica: David. I'm fine, Joe, thank you very much. I missed you at the concert the other night.
Joe: Oh, well, unfortunately Ruth and I have been very busy.
Erica: Well, the Mozart was delightful. The Bruckner was very tedious, but, oh, well. Oh, I see my lunch date.
David: Erica, I'd like to talk to you later, after lunch.
Erica: After lunch, we'll see.

Joe: So when the board members ask these questions, I really don't know how to respond. I mean, where are the patients for the case studies? Where's the additional stats? So we're either going to have to get the foundation up and running or rethink the whole thing.

Erica: Paolo, how can you say that? I'm sure that's not true.
Paolo: Oh, I swear it. I swear it on the -- on the Holy Virgin of Sant'Andrea Della Valle.

David: Excuse me, Joe. I'm trying to place that guy that's having lunch with Erica. Do you know him?
Joe: No. No, I don't. Now, when Alex came to me and made the suggestion that we all talk about this --

Paolo: I love it. I love a woman who laughs freely.
Erica: Well, thank you, but I'm sure you didn't invite me to have lunch with you so you could hear me laugh. You said that you had a business opportunity to discuss with me. I hope it's just as attractive as your plans for our companies.
Paolo: Ah, yes. Well, I guess we'd better discuss it. Otherwise, we'll forget all about it just like we did last night at dinner, hmm? I do trust that I can count on your discretion because this venture is open only to those with the most attractive profiles and the most discriminating tastes.

Alex: Let's go and sit. So what did you find out?
Edmund: Well, I found out that Jackson petitioned the hospital in Wales for your medical records to be released.
Alex: Oh, good. Yeah, I hope he gets somewhere.
Edmund: Do you really hope he gets somewhere?
Alex: Yes, of course I do. It's important that I remember. It's the only way that I can --
Edmund: Alex, don't say it. Don't say "I just want to get on with my life."

Flight attendant: Indicating that we are beginning our descent into Pine Valley. Please see that your seat belts are securely fastened, that your seatback is in the upright position, and that all carryon luggage --

Hayley: You know what? One good thing about going home a day early is that we get to really start planning our wedding.
Mateo: Hmm. You know, just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it, right?
Hayley: You've already done it.
Mateo: Oh, yeah? What was that, ask you to marry me?
Hayley: No, you promised to get rid of my mother.
Mateo: And I meant it. You know, she's not getting near us on our wedding day.
Hayley: She can't, Mateo. If she does, she'll ruin everything, just like she's always ruined everything every day of my life since as long as I can remember.
Mateo: She's not going to ruin a thing. I won't let her.
Hayley: Like my -- my class trip to Europe. Oh, God, no wonder I hate her so much.
Mateo: What? What did she do this time? She didn't let you go?
Hayley: I don't even know what made me think of it. There was this class trip, six cities in Europe in six days, you know, and I just thought it was the coolest thing. And we didn't have any money, so -- it was really expensive. I started working every day after school, you know, babysitting and walking dogs and mowing lawns, and I didn't -- I didn't spend a penny. I saved, I mean, every dime. And when it came time to cash in my chips, the money was gone.
Mateo: No.
Hayley: Mm-hmm.
Mateo: She took your money?
Hayley: Well, you know, she said she didn't. She swore on a stack of Bibles. She cried and cried until I apologized. I actually felt bad for doubting her. But all of a sudden, a couple days later, she starts rolling around in her brand-new spring wardrobe.

Arlene: Oh, I'm Arlene Vaughan, star of "The Wave," and on today's show, we get up close and personal with Eique Iglesias.

[Doorbell rings]

Arlene: Mr. Tobin?
Frank: Mrs. Vaughan.
Arlene: Arlene. Please come in. I'm afraid Hayley's not here yet, but I'm sure we can entertain each other while we wait. Would you like a drink?
Frank: No, nothing for us. Thanks. Does Hayley Vaughan live here?
Arlene: Well, for the time being. I'm here to help her plan her wedding.
Frank: Hayley's getting married?
Arlene: Uh-huh, and, you know, at a time like this, a girl really needs her mom. Not -- you know, I mean, Hayley and I have always been more like sisters.
Frank: Who's she marrying?
Arlene: Mateo Santos. Actually, they're getting remarried.
Frank: Doesn't look like you approve of this marriage.
Arlene: Well, I'm not here to approve or disapprove. Please, would you guys sit down. But I can tell you this. Hayley -- my goodness, she is so in love with that Mateo Santos. I mean, she's so in love, and when a woman is that much in love, she can put up with anything. Believe me, I know. But even I wouldn't put up with bigamy.
Frank: Bigamy? You mean that Mateo was married to someone else when he was married to Hayley?
Arlene: Oh, you're good. You're very good. I guess I'll have to tell you the whole story.

Derek: If the doctor says you're not dying, you're going to wish you were.
Adam: Oh, where's the compassion? If I die, it'll be your fault.
Derek: Come on.
Adam: Traitor. Traitor to the Chandlers. Ohh.

Tad: They call me a ham. Scott, where's the tape?
Scott: How did you know that I gave Derek the blank?
Tad: We've been working together for a while, old pal. I was just kind of praying that something rubbed off.
Dixie: What's on the tape?
Tad: Oh, baby. Nothing. Just Adam going berserk and trying to kill me.
Scott: What do you want me to do with it?
Tad: I want you to take it back to the station. I want you to edit it, and I want you to guard it with your life.
Scott: All right, you got it. Guard? Guard.

Dixie: How long do you intend to stay in here?
Tad: How long do I intend to stay in here? Honey, I'm in jail. What do you want me to do, huh, break out?
Dixie: I thought by now you'd be ready to that deal with Adam so you can both get out of here.
Tad: Can't do it. I -- what kind of man would I be if I compromised my principles and let him weasel out of here just so I could get out of the cooler a couple days early?
Dixie: Oh, I didn't realize this was about your principles. This isn't about principles. You have a vendetta against Adam.
Tad: No, no, no this is the result of a vendetta that he has got against us. Us -- my family, the Martins. He has hated the Martins for years. You want to call it a vendetta to make him pay for what he's done to us, then fine, Dixie, it's a vendetta.
Dixie: You have a job, honey, and a wife and kids who need you at home.
Tad: I want to be at home with you, sweetheart, I do -- and I will be, I promise, ok, just as soon as this is done with.
Dixie: Don't you think I want Adam to pay for this? Of course I do. But it affects our kids. And if it affects our kids, it's a luxury that we can't afford, so would you just drop it?
Tad: Drop it? How do you expect me to do that? Think about Jake.
Dixie: Yeah, think about Jake. He did the right thing. He did the noble and sensible thing. He let it go and he dropped it because it was what was best for Colby. That's all I'm asking you to do.
Tad: No, damn it! No, it's not just about Jake and Colby. My mother and father are never going to be the same. And neither will you. I saw the look on your face when you realized Colby wasn't --
Dixie: This is very interesting, this long list of people that you have to avenge for, you know -- Ruth, Joe, Colby, Jake, me.
Aren't you forgetting somebody?
Tad: What are you talking about?
Dixie: I'm talking about Liza, Tad -- Liza. This whole little escapade. You're doing it for her.
Dixie: This was about what Liza wants, ok? What Liza wants. She doesn't give a damn about the rest of us.
Tad: How do you know that?
Dixie: Because I talked to her, ok? She's the same self-serving person she's always been.
Tad: Wait a minute. You talked to Liza? What did you say?
Dixie: I -- nothing, ok? It doesn't matter. You know, I don't want to talk about Liza.
Tad: Yeah, fine. I don't want to talk about Liza, either. Can't you see that the villain here is Adam, hmm? And only Adam? Look, you, more than anybody else, should know what he's capable of. I'm telling you I can stop him here and now.
Dixie: You can't, Tad. You can't. You can't win at a game like this. But where it matters the most, Adam has already lost because Junior loves you. He loves you more than he loves his own father. It would be a terrible waste if you ended up more like Adam in trying to best him.
Tad: That won't happen.
Dixie: It won't if you listen to me. Come home with me to Junior and to Jamie. We have a life that Adam couldn't wish for in his wildest dreams. Please. Please do it for us.
Tad: I can't. Honey, don't you understand? Adam hates my guts because I'm a better father to his only son than he'll ever be. And he hates the Martins because, as a member of my family, your son has something that Adam couldn't possibly offer him. And that's exactly why he's never going to stop coming at us, trying to find ways to hurt and humiliate us. Well, guess what -- I'm not going to stand by and let him do it again. Every single thing I am, I am because of Joe and Ruth martin. It's the last time he's going to hurt my family.
Dixie: Fine. Fine. If you don't want to listen to me, fine. Good luck. You'll need it. Liza.
Liza: Hello, Dixie.
Dixie: Hello. Tad will be very happy to see you.

Liza: What was that all about?
Tad: You don't want to know.
Liza: Well, where's Adam?
Tad: In the infirmary, faking chest pains.
Liza: Faking? How do you know that he was faking?
Tad: Do you care?
Liza: Look, you know what? I don't have time to get into this question-and-answer session here. I have a way of getting back at Adam.
Tad: How?
Liza: No, just -- I don't have time because I know I don't have time. So could you just follow along with me? Just play along.
Tad: You got to give me something. What's the plan?
Liza: No, I can't give you anything. Just go along with me, and don't contradict me.

Adam: I'm going to file a lawsuit that will bring this town to its knees. Liza. Why are you here?

Paolo: And so I asked myself, why Pine Valley? I mean, yes, it's rustic and charming and -- but a woman like you, of culture and refinement --
Erica: Well, I don't think I could ever really live in a big city again. I mean, it's very suffocating. Security issues. What?
Paolo: No, it's -- it's as though I was just hearing my dear friend Yasmeen, the Ali Khan's wife.
Erica: Yes, one of the richest women in the world
Paolo: Oh, yes, and very unhappy. Till she met me.

Joe: The hospital has allocated resources to the Andrassy Foundation which are being underutilized. And the reason is you can't get along with Dr. Marick and vice versa.

Alex: I thought this lunch was supposed to be a pleasant one. All you've done is browbeat me since I got here.
Edmund: Well, I'm not sure I want to involve my friend Jackson in your situation.
Alex: Are you ashamed of me?
Edmund: No, I just don't think you have the will to fight whoever it is that's trying to steal your memory. I think you prefer to just shut down.
Alex: I want to find out what happened to me.
Edmund: Oh, yeah, like you prefer to handle David. You know what I think? I think I've only see you run away from him or push him down a flight of stairs.
Alex: You think I can't handle David?
Edmund: I've seen no evidence that you can.
Alex: Oh. All right. Watch this.

Arlene: So Mateo buys two adjoining condos, and he puts his wife and kid right across the way from them.
Frank: So Mateo has both his wives within easy reach.
Arlene: No, no. You're making it into something smutty. No, it was for the good of the kid. Of course, it didn't work. The kid wigged out and started setting fires to things.
Frank: But Hayley did leave at some point, didn't she?
Arlene: Oh, yeah, of course she did. I mean, her husband has his legal wife right under her nose, and, I mean, she's this curvaceous, dark-eyed beauty. I mean, something else. Hayley must have been this mass of insecurity and failure.
Frank: Failure?
Arlene: Yeah. Haven't you been listening? I mean, here Raquel gives Mateo this beautiful baby boy, and while Hayley --
Frank: What?
Arlene: Well, she was having some female problems. I mean, and so then you have this kid as a living reminder to Hayley, you know, to remind her of her inadequacy as a wife and a mother.
Frank: Yeah. That must have been rough.
Arlene: Yeah, it was terrible. I mean, it was a good thing I came back to put her back together. Otherwise, I don't know if she would have made it.
Frank: What, she had a nervous breakdown?
Arlene: Oh, no. No. I mean, Hayley's strong, but that kind of stress -- it would drive even the strongest person back to the bottle, and Hayley had already gone --
Frank: Hayley's -- she's got a drinking problem?
Arlene: You know what? I'm sorry. Don't print that. Alcoholism is a disease.
Frank: Of course. Of course. No. So, what happened next?
Arlene: You know what? I don't want to talk anymore. Hey, I've been doing all the work here, and Tommy there has been sitting there with his thumbs up his nose.
Frank: Tommy! Why don't you take some shots of Arlene.
Arlene: Oh, yeah, that would be great. You could do one of those "Which is the mom, which is the daughter?" Deals, right?

[Hayley and Mateo walk in]

Hayley: Stop. Stop it.
Frank: Hayley, this won't take long. I'm Frank Tobin from "Vanity Day" magazine.
Hayley: I don't care. You have to get out of here now.
Mateo: We just had a long flight. Buddy, buddy, we had a long flight. We're not up for this now, all right?
Frank: You must be Mateo. Arlene's been telling us a very interesting story.
Hayley: I'm sure she has, but this isn't her house, and you're trespassing
Frank: Well, there are a couple of points I think you'll want to clear up before we go to press.
Mateo: Well, we'll clear them up, but just not now, ok?
Hayley: What have you done? What did you tell him?
Frank: Well, I got a deadline. I mean, when can we set something up?
Mateo: Whenever --

Hayley: You know, I knew it. I knew it would be too much to ask for you to actually be gone.
Arlene: Hayley, they were just taking my picture.
Hayley: A week in Jamaica, and in two minutes later I am --
Arlene: I don't know why you're so upset!

[Both yelling at once]

Amanda: Aunt Arlene. Hayley. What's going on?
Arlene: Well, Hayley's home, sweetie. Isn't that great?
Amanda: Why are you guys yelling at each other? And who's outside with Mateo?
Arlene: They're reporters from a magazine.
Amanda: Oh.
Arlene: Oh, it's ok. They'll be leaving. It's all right. They just came here because they wanted to ask some questions about your daddy. And I told them how great he is and brave he is, and how in no time at all he's going to come back and be with you and Mommy and me.
Amanda: Really?
Arlene: Yep. Isn't that great?
Amanda: I love you, Aunt Arlene.
Arlene: I love you, too, you sweet thing. Hey, isn't it time for your snack?
Amanda: Mm-hmm.
Arlene: Well, great. You go into the kitchen and make it, and I'll join you lickety-split.
Amanda: Ok.
Arlene: Ok.
Hayley: They wanted to know about Trevor?
Arlene: Yeah, and I was so worried they would force me into saying something incriminating about Janet, I didn't know what to do.
Hayley: Oh, so you told them all about me?
Arlene: Yeah, and it worked. You're famous now, sweetie. I couldn't believe how much it worked. You know, if you had told me that you were coming back, I would've let you do it. It was terrible.
Hayley: I could tell. I mean, it looks like you really thought it was terrible.
Arlene: Well, no. I mean, once they started taking pictures, I got a little carried away, all right?
Hayley: Have you lost your mind?
Mateo: Why are you still here?
Arlene: I am here because Janet and Amanda need me, that's why. Look, if it's about the money, I'll --
Mateo: No, no, keep the money! Every second that you're here, you're making your daughter miserable. You're making me miserable.
Arlene: Well, I'm very sorry to hear that, Mateo. But Janet and Amanda say that I am welcome in their house, and so I'm going to stay here as long as they need me.
Mateo: Fine. You stay. Hayley's going to leave.

Paolo: Oh, and you must sign autographs and allow yourself to be photographed.
Erica: Yes, always. Always with a smile on your face, you know. What would we do without our fans?
Paolo: I know your privacy must be golden to you. I can give you that and much more. My family has a beautiful island in the Mediterranean.
Erica: Oh. Oh. Don't tell me you're trying to sell me real estate.
Paolo: Uh -- no, of course not. Excuse me, my cell phone is vibrating. One moment. Yes?

Paolo: All right, look, as Al Pacino once said, I am dying over here. What does Erica bite on?
Leo: Did you try flattery?
Paolo: If I tried any more flattery, they're going to have to surgically remove my lips from her --
Leo: Look, look, look -- I know that she used to be married to a count or a baron or something. Try a title.
Paolo: You --

Alex: So I intend to put aside all our past differences and make a success out of this foundation.
Joe: The board members will be glad to hear that. David?
David: Don't ever let it be said that I'm anything less than professional.
Alex: Then I see nothing standing in our way.
David: Good.
Joe: Well, I -- that certainly is more than I had hoped. And on this happy note, I am going to take my leave. Good-bye to both of you.
Alex: Good-bye.
David: Good-bye, Joe.
Alex: Good-bye.

Dixie: Hey. Who's that guy with Erica? He looks familiar.
David: It doesn't matter.
Dixie: Come on, David.
David: I guess we all can't be as lucky as you and Tad, Dixie.

Adam: Then you don't want me to go to prison?
Liza: I don't want Colby to be in a position where she doesn't have a father, and I'm not going to cooperate with the DA. In the charges against you or testify against you. I know that I promised the Martins that I would press charges and I would make you pay. But with Jake not around, it doesn't seem fair to Colby.
Adam: That's very wise. I -- I know that the most important thing is our daughter, and she needs her father.
Liza: So I'm going to tell the DA. That we had conjugal visits around the time that Colby was conceived, and that would make the sperm switch a moot point.
Adam: You would do that to keep me out of prison?
Liza: Under one condition.
Adam: Name it.
Liza: You have to admit that it was your name and your signature on the checks that gave away millions of your money. You have to admit that you were somehow caught up in the Christmas spirit.
Adam: Who's going to believe that?
Liza: You mean you won't do it?
Adam: Martin belongs in prison!
Liza: Well, Adam, then the two of you can rot in there together.
Adam: Wait, Liza --
Liza: Yes, Adam?

Arlene: Oh, Hayley. Hayley, don't go. Can't we be just a family for once?
Hayley: Oh, she is a sketch. I'm out of here.
Arlene: You promised Brooke you wouldn't leave Janet alone.
Mateo: If you're here, Arlene, she's not alone, is she?
Hayley: That's right, she's not. And since you've sunken your claws into Amanda and have her convinced that you're the tooth fairy and Mrs. Claus all rolled into one, it would be too painful for her if you left. So I'll go.
Mateo: Yeah, and as soon as you hit the road, she'll come back. And in the meantime, she's going to stay with me.
Arlene: Ok, then. I hope you'll change your mind. I'm going to go into the kitchen and see how Amanda's doing.

Hayley: I can't.
Mateo: Let's go. Come on.
Hayley: I can't.
Mateo: Let's go, let's go.
Hayley: Aah. How can I leave Janet here with that woman? The state she's in, Arlene will swallow her whole.
Mateo: But we can watch Janet from afar. We'll keep an eye on her, ok? You need to think about yourself for once. Yeah? Let's go.

Dixie: I think your heart is showing.

Alex: So, did you think your reverse psychology trick worked?
Edmund: What are you talking about?
Alex: Oh, I haven't forgotten everything I learned in my first year of med school.
Edmund: I like what I saw. It was a step in the right direction.
Alex: Yeah. Hi.
Jack: Hi. Hi, Edmund.
Edmund: Hello, Jack.
Jack: Listen, I got to tell you, I've made more than a few phone calls. I'm getting the run-around, and in Welsh, no less.
Alex: How humiliating.
Jack: Yeah.
Alex: You have to keep going. Mustn't stop until we get the answers that we want.

Derek: What now?
Adam: Lt. Frye, you'll be happy to know that Mr. Martin and I have resolved our differences. We'll be happy to go in front of the judge and apologize for our behavior in court.
Derek: You think that's going to help you? You both have a number of charges against you from the DA's office.
Adam: They're all being dropped.
Derek: Oh, really, now?
Adam: Yes. I'm going to change my statement in regard to Mr. Martin's forgery charges.
Derek: What are you people pulling now?
Adam: We're quite serious. Liza is going to change her statement, too.
Liza: Yes, Derek. I've decided not to cooperate with the DA. In regards to the charges against my husband.
Derek: What do I care? The sooner you two stop wasting the taxpayers' money, the happier I'll be. Come on, why wait? You can give your statement now. Let's go.
Adam: I'm right with you, Lieutenant.

Tad: God, I hope you know what you're doing.
Liza: I do. And I'm doing this for all the people who have been hurt by Adam.
Tad: He's got to pay.
Liza: And he will. I'm counting on you, though. My plan is not going to work without you. And I think that you and I need to keep it between us. I don't think anybody should know. Not even Dixie.
Tad: Especially Dixie. All right. I'm in.



. On the next "All My Children"

Palmer: You have to let Erica know who's boss.

Paolo: No interruptions tonight, Erica, huh?

Greenlee: I told you he's wonderful.
Millicent: Who is so wonderful?

Tad: Why don't you just admit it? You're still in love with him.