[Doorbell rings]

Tad: Oh, good. Thanks for coming over on such short notice.
Adrian: Well, yeah, I don't have a lot of time.
Tad: Well, that's right. Neither does Mr. Simms of Simms Formal Wear. Apparently, he's doing me this huge favor by coming over here to outfit all the groomsmen.
Adrian: Well, where is everybody? I'm not the only one, am I?
Tad: No, no. Dad's upstairs on the phone to the hospital. Jake will be here any minute.
v Adrian: Don't worry. I have my own tuxedo. I got it custom-tailored, Seville row in London.
Tad: Why am I not surprised?
Adrian: Well, you know, I can't wear any rent-a-tux jobs.
Tad: You're going to have to this time. Mom and Dixie decided they wanted all the men wearing dinner jackets. That's why the rush job.
Adrian: You don't wear white before Memorial Day.
Tad: Are you serious?
Adrian: Well, any civilized person knows you don't wear white before memorial day or after Labor Day.
Tad: Adrian, relax. This isn't Hyenas Port or Martha's Vineyard. And unless Mom hasn't told us about any of the secrets she's got, we're not related to the Kennedy's. It's just a simple, small, backward wedding in little old uncivilized Pine Valley.
Adrian: Oh, I couldn't have said that better myself.
Tad: So we're pushing the season by a few days. You think you can cope with that?
Adrian: For Dixie, yeah.
Tad: Thank you.
[Laughter]

[women talking]

Janet: I hope we're not late.
Brooke: No. Well, you're the last ones here, except for Opal.
Myrtle: Ah.
Brooke: Oh, these are beautiful.
Dixie: Oh, thank you!
Myrtle: Oh, you're welcome.
Dixie: Hi.
Janet: Has anybody heard from her?
Brooke: No, but I'm sure she'll be here.
Myrtle: Oh.
Dixie: Oh, yeah, she better. I can't have both my mother-in-laws missing my wedding shower.
Brooke: Absolutely not.
Myrtle: What about Ruth?
Dixie: Oh, she had to work.
Myrtle: Oh, no.
Dixie: Yeah.
Myrtle oh, what a shame.
Dixie: Yeah.
Janet: Dixie, can I talk to you for a second?
Dixie: Oh, yeah, sure.
Brooke: Excuse me.
Janet: I just wanted to tell you how much it means to me to be invited here today to be considered among your friends.
Dixie: Well, I think you've changed a lot. And everybody deserves a second chance.
Janet: Thanks.
Belinda: Oh, there she is, girls -- Carmen Miranda!
All: Oh!
Opal: Oh, come on!
Brooke: It's the tutti-frutti woman!
Opal: All right, all right. I've had enough out of you girls.
Dixie: Thank you.
Opal: Oh, are you kidding? I'd like to meet the fella who could keep me from it. Oh, Brooke, I hope you don't mind but I have a friend visiting from out of town, and since she's already been invited to the wedding, I thought it was ok to bring her today.
Brooke: Sure, sure. Welcome.
Opal: Everybody, I want you to meet -- this is Alice Dawson. She is Adrian's mother.
Myrtle: Oh.
Alice: I'm Adrian's other mother.
Opal: Oh.
Myrtle: Well, you have a lovely son.
Alice: Thank you.
Brooke: Here. You know, we're so glad you came. Let's everybody sit down.
Opal: All right.
Alice: That's great. Thanks.
Brooke: Let's have a little champagne or mimosa.
Dixie: Hey. Are you ok?
Hayley: Not very good company today.
Dixie: Oh. What happened?
Hayley: Oh, I found out I'm not pregnant.
Dixie: Aw. Well, the best thing I can think of saying is think of the fun you'll have trying again.
Hayley: Yeah.
Dixie: Oh, you're disappointed. I'm sorry.
Hayley: It's ok. I'm going to be fine. I'm not going to be a party pooper.
Dixie: You're not a party pooper.
Brooke: All right, everybody. Everybody get a glass. Everybody have a mimosa or some champagne?
Opal: Yeah. I think we're all set.
Brooke: It's time for a toast to Tad and Dixie. Some things are meant to be.
Opal: Oh.
Janet: Hear, hear.
All: Hear, hear.

Liza: Colby, you're so good. What is -- what is that? Oh. Hey.
Jake: What? Liza: What is -- what is that?
Jake: What? What? What?
Liza: What is it?
Jake: This lint ball from your robe?
Liza: Oh.
Jake: Oh. What'd you think -- she grew chest hair?
Liza: I didn't know. You know, you read things.
Jake: You know, you're going to tape this in your baby book under "Mama's first conniption fit."
Liza: You know what?
Jake: What?
Liza: If I had a free hand --
Jake: Ok, ok. Right here, right here.
Liza: It was the light.
Jake: Right here. You know what I got here for you?
Liza: What?
Jake: Your release papers.
Liza: Really? We can go home?
Jake: Right. She passed all of her pediatrics tests.
Liza: Oh. Today?
Jake: Flying colors. Yep. I filled out all the paperwork.
Liza: Oh. Well, you know, Adam is going to be pleased because we sort of thought that maybe you'd stall us, try to keep us here a little longer.
Jake: Oh. Well, if I could swing it with the insurance company, I'd keeper here till prom night.
Liza: Mm-hmm.
Jake: Or maybe the night after prom night.
Liza: Hmm.
Jake: No, she needs to be home with her mom.
Liza: Thanks.

Adam: Erica, answer the phone. I know you're there, damn it. Answer!

[Telephone rings]

Erica: Hello?
Adam: Erica.
Erica: Adam, I'm very busy.
Adam: Don't you dare hang up on me again. What happened with Hayward?
Erica: Just calm yourself, Adam. I have bought you a little extra time to neutralize David.
Adam: You didn't confront him?
Erica: He doesn't know that I remembered exactly why we were racing home to pine valley the night of the accident.
Adam: Good. How much time do I have?
Erica: Well, you have at least today. I mean, this is his day off and he will be occupied with other matters, I'm sure. After that, who knows?
Adam: What exactly have you done to Hayward?
Erica: Adam, you have to excuse me. I have a guest. I'm being a terrible hostess. Bye.
David: Owwww. My head.
David: Erica.
Erica: Yes, David?
David: Where am I?
Erica: We're under my house, in an old laundry room. One of the things that really drew me to this old Victorian house was its system of dumbwaiters and laundry chutes. Little did I know that one day I was going to put that laundry chute to work.
David: Oh -- Erica, I don't understand.
Erica: Oh, it's so simple. I chuted you down here. And now I'm going to do to you exactly what you did to me.

Liza: I mean, I've read every book written about newborns and I feel like I don't know anything.
Jake: Well, you'll be fine. Plus, you can call me. I know everything.
Liza: Well, you know, there was this woman. She was on the sun porch. She was having baby number three.
Jake: Oh, oh. Oh.
Liza: She knew everything. She said that if they cry -- can I?
Jake: Yeah?
Liza: You're just supposed to let them cry. That's how they become independent.
Jake: Hmm. Well, that's one theory, I suppose.
Liza: But I don't know. I mean, you know, is it wrong? Would it hurt her if I went to her if she cried?
Jake: No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
Liza: Really? Because I don't think I could just let her cry and cry.
Jake: Of course not. That's ridiculous. It's nuts.
Liza: Oh. Well, thank God. Right?
Jake: I mean, if she's crying, she's -- she needs to know somebody's going to come to her, no matter what.
Liza: Yeah, well, that's what I think.
Jake: Well -- good. Good. Well, I don't want to sound like I'm giving advice from the start. You know? Like I'm meddling or anything.
Liza: Oh, no, that's ok. You can meddle.
Jake: I can meddle?
Liza: Well, not -- no. You can't meddle meddle.
Jake: Why not?

[Liza laughs]

Liza: Yeah.
Adam: Did Colby tell a great joke?
Liza: Oh, no, but Jake has great news.
Jake: Colby's ready to go home.
Liza: Look, it's Daddy.
Adam: Wonderful. Jake --
Liza: Look.
Adam: Thanks for everything you've done.
Jake: No problem. Take care of these two.
Adam: I will.
Liza: Oh, you know, I only have a couple of things -- only just a couple of things that need to be packed. But there's presents and all of Colby's things need to be taken care of.
Adam: You get the baby ready, I'll get everything else.
Liza: Oh. Uh -- where are we taking her?
Adam: What do you mean?
Liza: I mean, we're not married and none of my things are at your place, so maybe I should just take Colby to the loft.

Tad: Never fails. Tuxedo guy, this Mr. Simms, makes a big deal about everybody being here at a certain time. He says it's his day off or something. Of course, nobody's here including Mr. Simms.
Adrian: Hey, I'm here.
Tad: Yeah, I know. You want some coffee or something?
Adrian: No, thanks.
Tad: What am I saying? You probably don't drink coffee, a guy like you.
Adrian: What do you mean "a guy like" me?
Tad: Relax, it's not a shot. That just, you know -- "my body is a temple" kind of guy.
Adrian: I do drink coffee, thank you very much.
Tad: And you don't want any?
Adrian: No.
Tad: Do you smoke?
Adrian: No, I don't smoke!
Tad: Huh, uh-huh?
Adrian: "Uh-huh."
Tad: Actually, neither do I. But no, that's not true. I've been known to light a cigar every once in a while, you know, to celebrate a special occasion.
Adrian: Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, well, I've been known to light up a nice Dominican and have a little glass of scotch once in a while.
Tad: I'm not surprised. I mean, I'm sure you and your pals at the agency, you know, must have sparked a few the day the Berlin wall fell.
Adrian: Well, actually, no. The day the Berlin wall fell, I was out celebrating my Ph.D. With -- well --
Tad: No, no, no. Come on. Details, mon frere. Details.
Adrian: It's classified.
Tad: Hmm. I'm sure. Weddings! Women make such a big deal out of them. You know, Dixie and I considered eloping.
Adrian: Oh, you still could.
Tad: Be nice. You ever been married?
Adrian: You know, you really don't have to keep asking me all these questions. I'm not some guest on your talk show.
Tad: I didn't say you were. All right, fine. You know what? You go ahead and be that way. I could care less if you've ever been married. You could be the virgin queen for all I care. It's just that we agreed to try to get along until after the wedding and I was simply trying to do my best.
Adrian: All right. I've never been married.
Tad: All right, there. Was that so hard? Now I ask how come?
Adrian: Well, if you must know, in my line, 's better that we travel on the lighter side of things.
Tad: This makes sense.
Adrian: But also I grew up looking at one of the world's greatest marriages -- my mom and dad's. I just never wanted to settle for anything less.
Tad: Good. You shouldn't. I mean, look at me. I didn't settle and I got lucky. And you're almost as cute as me.
Adrian: Excuse me.
What do you mean "almost"?

Dixie: Cheesecake!

[Laughter]

Opal: All right, all right. You can take it off now.
Dixie: Oh, why? Don't I look beautiful?
Myrtle: Yes, exactly like Wilhelmina, our lying lady.
Dixie: Oh!
Opal: Myrt used to be in the Carny.
Alice: Oh, my.
Opal: Yeah.
Janet: She can guess your weight within two pounds.
Alice: Oh, oh, no, no. Don't you dare. Don't you dare!
Dixie: Presents, presents. So shall I open more presents?
Belinda: Yeah!
Brooke: Here. This is from Aunt Phoebe.
Dixie: Oh, my goodness. < Oh, Phoebe.
Myrtle: This is for your new house.

[Laughter]

Dixie: Thank you.
Myrtle: Oh. That is gorgeous.
Dixie: This is beautiful!
Phoebe: It's a Chinese porcelain rose bowl circa 1880.
Brooke: Oh.
Opal: 1880.
Dixie: Thank you, thank you.
Alice: Oh, that is gorgeous.
Dixie: Thank you so much.
Hayley: I can't wait to see Junior and Jamie use that as a basketball hoop.
Belinda: Oh, stop.
Brooke: Stop it! Don't kill her. Here. I believe this is from Janet.
Dixie: Oh.
Janet: Yes. Actually, my gift's a little more practical, you see. It's from the year of the leopard.
Dixie: Year of the leopard?

[Women gasp]

[cheers]

Dixie: Ah! I'm going to wear this?
Myrtle: Oh, you bet! I don't know if I could look at that!
Alice: Oh, sure you do!

[Laughter]

Opal: Well, it'll keep him home at night!
Brooke: Put that away now, would you? Here. Here. You have to open more gifts. Take this.
Dixie: Whoo!
Oh. Brooke: From Belinda.
Myrtle: Do you know what I hope? I hope the next celebration is to welcome Erica back to her old friends.
Janet: Well, in another 36 hours, Vanessa Bennett will be history.
Myrtle: Yeah, well, when that woman's gone, she will know who her friends really are.
Brooke: All right, everybody. It's time for the entertainment.
Opal: What? Brooke: We're going to play a game.
All: Oh!
Brooke: Oh, come on. You're going to love it. Yes, you'll love it, you'll love it, you'll love it. We're writing a little story for Tad and Dixie and you-all have to help me finish it.
Janet: I know this game.
Brooke: Oh, do you? All right. All right, listen. We're going to go around the room and ask everyone for the name of a food, any food --
Hayley: Gizzards!
Brooke: Gizzards?

[Laughter]

Brooke: Not yet. Ok? And I think we'll start with you.
Belinda: No.
Brooke: Yes, you. Yes.
Belinda: Oh, ok.
Brooke: All right. Belinda, give me the name of a food, any food.
Belinda: Uh -- butternut squash.
Myrtle: Oh, brother.
Phoebe: What did she say?
All: Butternut squash!

[Laughter]

Tad: You know, if you stick around Pine Valley long enough, you just might find somebody that turns out to be a keeper.
Adrian: Why do you think that one needs to be married in order to be happy?
Tad: I don't. But Dixie was saying to me the other night at the club what a great couple you and Belinda make.
Adrian: Well, no disrespect to Belinda, but I don't know what's going to happen between me and her.
Tad: Opal's certainly pulling for you.
Adrian: Well, I definitely won't hold that against Belinda.
Tad: What kind of shot is that? Honestly, I don't understand why mother bothers at all. You know, you're not -- you're never going to come around. You're just too flawless, too perfect, too well-dressed, aren't you? You couldn't possibly understand how Opal feels. Or is it that we're just too damned white? Is that it?
Adrian: Wait a minute. You're out of line.
Tad: No, you're out of line. If you're too thick to realize how lucky you are to have a second family, especially this one, then it's your loss, pal.
Adrian: You know what? If that tuxedo guy doesn't get here soon, I'm out of here.
Tad: Yeah, fine. Take off. Don't stick around on my account. Thanks for coming.
Adrian: Hey, you know, I said I would be in your wedding. I'll be in the wedding, all right?
Joe: Hello.
Hello, Adrian. Good to see you.
Adrian: Hello, Dr. Martin. How are you?
Joe: Yeah.
Tad: Thank God you're finally off the phone.
Joe: What do you mean? What's the matter?
Tad: I forgot my cell. I got to go track down the guy with the dinner jackets.
Joe: Well, anyway, with any luck, the guy with the dinner jackets is hopelessly lost and we'll never see him.
Adrian: Yeah. How about that?
Joe: Sit down. It's very good of you to stand up for Tad at his wedding. I know it can't be easy, not for either one of you -- finding out you're brothers at this stage of your lives.
Adrian: Well, I don't have a problem with that.
Joe: Oh. Well, good. Still, I -- I can imagine what you must be going through since we went through something very similar ourselves when opal showed up in our lives. I mean, Opal can be a -- well, I mean, you know Opal.
Adrian: Yeah, well, I don't have a problem with Opal, either.
Joe: Oh. Well, tad certainly did -- when she first showed up -- repentant, eager to make up all at once all those years of absence. Tad was in quite a dilemma -- of course, he was a lot younger than you are now. But he just didn't know where to put this new person in his life. He already had a family, a family that was strong and loving and he -- he wasn't about to give it up for this new person who was claiming loyalty and love from him. But you know what? They came to an understanding. And it's been working all these years.

[Doorbell rings]

Joe: Wonder who that can be?
Man: Mr. Martin?
Joe: Oh, you mean
my son. Do come in. Man: I'm Simms of Simms formal wear.
Joe: Yes.
Tad: I got his machine. Where is this jerk --
Adrian: He's here.
Tad: Mr. Simms of Simms formal wear?
Mr. Simms: Did my best with this last-minute order.
Tad: Oh, I'm sure you did, and I want you to know how much we appreciate it.
Mr. Simms: Like I told you, I'm closing up my shop today.
Tad: Huh.
Mr. Simms: Three hours time, I'll be on the Gulf of Tonkin.
Tad: I beg your pardon?
Mr. Simms: That's the name of my boat.
Tad: Ah.
Mr. Simms: I'm going fishing for a week. So these suits better fit because there's no time to change them now.
Tad: Oh, no. I'm sure they will, Sir, believe me. As a matter of fact, I tell you what -- why don't we -- why don't we try them on? Here, Dad.
Joe: Ok.
Tad: Adrian, why don't you go to the guest room. This is mine. That's for my brother, Jake. He should be here any minute.
Mr. Simms: He's not here yet? He's late! Where is he?

Adam: But she'll be comfortable at my house -- our house. That's her home.
Liza: Well, it will be after we're married. I don't want to move until we are.
Adam: Liza, don't be silly. All of your things are packed.
Liza: "Silly"? You think so?
Adam: Well, we're going to be married very soon. All your things were ready to go.
Liza: Not all my things. All of the presents that I got for Colby -- they're still at the loft.
Adam: Well, actually, no. I had them all moved to my place.
Liza: You what? You had all of the things moved without even consulting me?
Adam: Liza, you've had a great deal on your mind lately.
Liza: Yeah, I know I've had a lot on my mind, but it doesn't mean that you get to do something like that without even asking me.
Adam: Well if you're going to second-guess everything I do in terms of you and Colby, then --
Jake: May I say something?
Liza: What?
Adam: What?
Jake: I think Adam did the right thing.
Adam: I did?
Liza: He did?
Jake: Yeah. It's better for Colby if she goes to the place that's going to be home rather than go someplace else first for a few days and then be moved. She's exposed to less germs that way. It's just -- it's better.
Liza: Well, then, I guess -- then, fine. I'm sorry.
Adam: Oh, don't be silly. I'm sorry.
Liza: All right.
Jake: Um -- there's one other thing -- visitation rights. I don't want to make this a big, official thing between us, but I -- I want to know when I can see my child.
Adam: Well, what did you have in mind, Jake?
Jake: Um -- well, don't worry. I'm not going to barge down your door at all hours of the night. But I -- I made a copy of my work schedule for the next few weeks, and -- right there. Most of it's there. I marked down the days that I don't work, so maybe I can come by then.
Liza: It looks all right to me.
Jake: Of course, I'll call first.
Adam: Well, I -- no, I have no problem with this.
Jake: Oh, great. Great. I just want to do what's best for Colby, so --
Liza: You know, we've all been talking about doing what's best for Colby for weeks and weeks, and I think that we're finally doing what's best for her.
Adam: I feel the same way.
Liza: Yeah.
Jake: Me, too.
Liza: You know, I'm very grateful. I thought that I would be doing this alone, and --

[Colby fusses]

Liza: I'm grateful that the both of you are in her life. And I love you both for loving her. So, let's go home.
Jake: Let's get you out of here before they charge you for another night.

David: Ok, Erica. You've had your fun and games. Now it's time to let me go.
Erica: "Fun and games"? Oh, that's right. You seem to think that my life is a laugh riot, don't you? That's what you said to me. You said that someday I would just laugh at what has happened to me.
David: I see that you're obviously upset. But if you let me go, I promise you I won't tell anybody what's happened down here. Believe me, I won't. It's -- it'll be humiliating for both of us.
Erica: Not humiliating for me.
David: Erica, you really have to get to a hospital. We could talk about what's bothering you then and I can help you.
Erica: Oh, really? The way you've helped me already?
David: You're alive because of me. Don't forget that.
Erica: Oh, no. I won't forget. In fact, I remember. Surprise, I remember everything, everything that happened that night, everything that happened in your car when we had the accident, when my face was so horribly mangled. So let's just see if what I remember matches what you remember.
Erica: Oh, I remember. It was quite a night. Racing through a blinding snowstorm. You wouldn't even slow down for one minute, and why? Why were you doing that? Not to get back to a patient as you told me. No, you were racing through that blizzard so you could get back to Marian and start's wedding so you could announce to Liza Colby in public the sins of Adam Chandler.
David: You don't understand.
Erica: Oh, no? Do you remember it differently?
David: What Adam did was a terrible thing.
Erica: Yes. Yes, it was. It was selfish. And it was even criminal. But Adam has one saving grace for what he did -- he was motivated out of love. You, on the other hand, you -- you've been motivated by some -- oh, some insipid destructiveness, some revenge.
David: Erica, there's no way that you can begin to understand how I feel about Adam and Liza.
Erica: Oh, yes, I can. I'm sure it's exactly the way I feel about you. You dragged me into this disgusting, sad mess. And for that, David Hayward, you're going to pay.

Brooke: Any food, Aunt Phoebe, at all.
Janet: Any food.
Phoebe: Pasta Fazul.
Brooke: Ok. There we have it. This is it, all right? I smell Pulitzer here.
Hayley: Oh, excuse me.
Opal: I smell something.
Brooke: All right. What we have here is the story of Tad and Dixie's honeymoon night.
Opal: Uh-oh.
Brooke: Uh-oh. All right, let's start. "Tad swooped Dixie off her feet and carried her across the threshold, saying that she was as light as butternut squash."

[Laughter]

Belinda: Well? Who knew?
Phoebe: You see? That's why I had to carefully consider mine. It doesn't fit at all.
Brooke: All right. "Tad laid Dixie down on the bed, saying her hair smells like anchovies, her skin was like mashed potatoes, her breasts were like --" h -- "chocolate-covered peanuts." Well, that can't be accurate.

[Laughter]

Brooke: "Dixie told Tad he was as handsome as liver pate, as smart as cottage cheese. She said 'make love to me with your cookies.' Tad wrapped Dixie in his brussels sprouts and ravished her with his pasta fazul."
Phoebe: Oh, that's mine! Oh, dear.

[Laughter]

Brooke: "And the important thing is they lived happily ever after."
All: Yay!

Jake: Tad? Tad? Oh.
Mr. Simms: You Jake Martin?
Jake: Who are you?
Mr. Simms: Simms, of Simms formal wear. The other gentlemen are changing. You're late! Here's your suit. March!
Jake: Ra.

[Jake snickers]

Jake: They look like a bad imitation of the Four Tops.
Adrian: Yeah, well, at least one of us does.
Tad: Mr. Simms, there's obviously been a huge mistake.
Mr. Simms: I'll say. You gentlemen look pathetic.
Tad: Well, I'm glad we agree. What are you going to do about it?
Mr. Simms: Me? You picked out the suits. You wrote down the order number yourself.
Adrian: Oh. I see we like powder blue before Memorial Day.
Tad: I did not order these suits.
Mr. Simms: Here we go. Order number 7189!
Jake: That's your handwriting.
Tad: I did not order these suits.
Jake: It's sloppy handwriting. That's not a nine. That's a four, actually.
Tad: What are you talking about? It's obviously not a nine. It's a four! It's a four. You got to take these back.
Mr. Simms: That's a negative, Mr. Martin. I told you my plans. I've got a heavy date with a spotted sea trout on Chesapeake Bay.
Tad: Mr. Simms, you don't understand. My life is in your hands. If you don't help me, my wedding is going to turn into a hanging.
Adrian: Oh I'll provide that rope.
Tad: Don't enjoy this too much.
Adrian: Enjoy? This?
Joe: Oh, oh, gentle -- gents, gents, calm down. Mr. Simms, I'm sure we can reach an understanding. If you can delay your trip for just half a day, we'll make it worth your while.
Mr. Simms: No can do, sir. My buddies and I are reconnoitering at 1400 hours. Those plans are set in stone.
Adrian: Excuse me. Simms? You were in the military. Am I right?
Mr. Simms: Yes, you are.
Adrian: And from the looks of things, you were really in it.
Mr. Simms: You bet I was in it.
Adrian: Gentlemen, he's one of us. I think we can trust him.
Joe: Looks like we're going to have to.
Adrian: Simms, what we're about to tell you you never heard because there never was a mission. All right? You understand that? Good.

Dixie: Thank you so much, everybody, for all the presents and your kind words and for just showing up.
Hayley: Ok. One more time, everybody.
Opal: All right.
Hayley: To Tad and Dixie -- he's a lucky man.
Opal: And she's a lucky woman.
Hayley: And she's a lucky woman --
Belinda: Yes.
Hayley: Because they found each other.
Opal: Right.
Dixie: Luck doesn't even begin to describe it. When I first came to town, I knew nothing. And then I met tad and -- and just fell in love with him and then when I lost him -- well, it just goes to show you that life is full of miracles. Love itself is just such a miracle and I have it all around me -- tad and my friends and my family, and I just feel so very, very lucky. Thank you all.
All: Oh.
Opal: Oh, we love you, honey.
Brooke: This has to be -- this is the keeper, right?

Adam: Welcome home, Colby. You're home. This is going to be your home for, oh, a while -- I'd say till you're about 35.
Liza: Yeah, you know, good luck with him.
Adam: Come on. I want to show you the nursery.
Liza: Oh, can we -- can we wait just a little bit?
Adam: Oh, you get -- did you get tired, honey?
Liza: A little bit, walking up the walk. The thought of those stairs.
Adam: No, no, no. Sit. Sit, sit.
Liza: Thanks.
Adam: Easy, easy, easy.
Liza: Ok. Oh, did the giraffe come?
Adam: Oh, yes. Boy, wait till you see her.
Liza: Oh. Well, she's not scary?
Adam: Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. She's --
Liza: Where'd you put her?
Adam: Right by the crib. She's got great big brown eyes. She's got soft brown eyes with long eyelashes. And the -- the clouds that were painted above the crib?
Liza: Mm-hmm.
Adam: Uh-uh. The guy had no poetry in him -- flat, flat, so I brought Stuart in. Now -- voila. Heaven right above her crib.
Liza: Oh, Adam.
Adam: Nothing is too good for my two ladies.
Liza: Come here. You know, Jake helped me make her. But you made us a family.
Adam: You rest now. We don't have to rush off to anywhere. We're home.
Liza: I love you.

David: Well, what do you intend to do with me? At least take my fingers out of this vise.
Erica: I can't do that.
David: Erica, I can't operate without my right hand. It's my whole life. It's my career.
Erica: And my face was my career and my life. But that didn't stop you. Now I'm going to take away from you what you treasure most.
David: You're not going to break my hand.
Erica: Maybe by accident.
David: No. No. No, I know you feel like hurting me, but you won't do it this way. You're not a violent woman.
Erica: I don't know. I knocked you unconscious, threw you down the laundry chute. It didn't bother me at all.
David: Come on. This is ridiculous! Come on. Let me go.
Erica: Not yet.
David: Well, you can't keep me down here forever.
Erica: No. You're right -- not forever. Maybe just as long as I have these scars on my face.

Adrian: Gentlemen, we can count on Sgt. Simms.
Mr. Simms: I'll be back in an hour with the dinner jackets and trousers, General.
Joe: A grateful nation thanks you, Sergeant.
Mr. Simms: You sorry excuse for a fighting man, in my day, we would have court-martialed your butt for dereliction of duty.
Tad: What the hell was that about?
Adrian: Well, I simply told him that this wedding was a cover for an international operation, that it was almost ruined by Pvt. Martin's incompetence.
Tad: Pvt. Martin?
Adrian: I also told him there were satellite photos being taken of the wedding party, so we couldn't wear powder blue jackets. We had to wear white ones instead, or else there will be dangerous consequences for our agents in the field.
Jake: Did he buy that, sir?
Adrian: Well, of course he did. I guess he figured why else would we be wearing white jackets before Memorial Day?

Belinda: So, Dixie, what about tad's bachelor party?
Dixie: What about it?
Belinda: Well, is he having one?
Dixie: Well, yeah. I mean, I'm sure they're doing something for him.
Belinda: Uh-huh. Strippers? Exotic dancers?
Dixie: No, I hope not. Tad would hate that.
Hayley: Sure he would.
Dixie: He would. Trust me, he would.
Hayley: That's too bad.
Janet: It sounds like Tad's going to miss out, unless --
Hayley: "Unless." Oh, no. No.
Janet: How much courage do we have?
Dixie: Courage to do what? No!

Adam: Hello, mommy. All's well in the nursery. Can you hear me ok?
Liza: Yeah, I can hear you, but this thing only works one way.
Adam: Oh, that's right. This thing only works one way. I'll come down.
Liza: Oh. Oh. Adam? Adam: That thing only works one way.
Liza: I know that. Is she asleep?
Adam: Yep. Those fluffy clouds -- they helped her drift right off.
Liza: I'm sure they did.
Adam: You think she'll sing the Puccini aria again tonight?
Liza: I'm just relaxing into my new life. Do you feel it? Safer? Now that Colby and I are under the same roof?
Adam: Oh, yes. I do. I do. We're going to be very happy here, the three of us for a long, long time.

David: People will notice that I'm not there.
Erica: Not today. It's your day off.
David: Well, they'll notice soon enough. I'll scream. Somebody will hear me.
Erica: You think so?
David: Help! Help, somebody! Down in the basement! Is anybody there? Can you hear me?
Erica: No one can hear you, David?
David: Help! Help, somebody! I'm Dr. David Hayward! I'm down in the basement! Help! Can you hear me?
Erica: Oh, David, you're so funny. Someday, you'll look back on this and you'll laugh.
David: Oh, this is great. Now what?