ALL MY CHILDREN

May 30, 2000



Vanessa: Palmer, please, here I am on my knees. What more do you want?
Palmer: More. Much more.
Vanessa: I will do anything you ask.
Palmer: Hmm. The lieutenant should be here any moment.
Vanessa: Palmer, I truly beseech you, and have mercy.
Palmer: You want the same mercy you showed your inamorato when you killed him?
Vanessa: I explained, that was an accident.
Palmer: Cold comfort for Paolo, rotting in his grave.
Vanessa: Palmer, I'm asking you, in the name of our marriage --
Palmer: Our marriage is a farce. Now, mind you, I'm not standing in judgment, because Caselli got exactly what he deserved. But now it's your turn. You told stupid lies while you were playing musical beds with your hopped-up gigolo. Can you tell me one reason why I shouldn't turn over your taped confession and watch you twist?

[Knock on door]

Palmer: Come in!

Hayley: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! We totally hosed you.
Mateo: We got Junior next time. He's got the serve.
Hayley: And Jamie's not that bad, either. It's too bad Brooke had to bring him home.
Adrian: And, you, young lady, you've got a killer serve.
Tina: No fear, no mercy.
Mateo: Don't turn your back on her, man. She's --
Adrian: Nolans.

Eliot: Hey, guys. Man, this is beautiful. A great day for a picnic.
Tina: Hey, Rev.
Adrian: Hey, Padre.
Eliot: Hey, Tina.
Adrian, how you doing?
Mateo: Hayley, I want you to meet Rev. Freeman.
Eliot: Eliot, please.
Hayley: Oh.
Eliot: You must be Hayley, Mateo's fiancée?
Hayley: Right on both counts. This is my little brother, Junior.
Eliot: Hey.
Junior: Hey.
Tina: The Rev volunteers down at the community center.
Mateo: And we play basketball Thursday nights.
Eliot: He shoots, he scores. I dribble.
Hayley: So Mateo told you that he wants you to do the honors at our wedding?
Eliot: He did, mm-hmm.
Hayley: Did he tell you that we've had two other weddings?
Eliot: , Two weddings?
Hayley: Well, I know it sounds flaky, but --
Eliot: Sounds like you two can't get enough of a good thing.

Becca: Scott, you want me to marry you?
Scott: Yes. Becca, I know it's sudden, but think about it. In September, I got to take off for film school in New York, and it'll take the whole summer for us to find a place to crash in. We got to set up.
Becca: I mean, your father just died. Do you really think that you should be making any big decisions that are going to change the rest of your life?
Scott: Yes. It's our time. And we got to grab it. Becca, say you'll marry me. Say yes.

Adam: Why didn't I listen to you, Stuart? You knew your heart better than I did. Why didn't I believe you?

Stuart: It's Marilyn. I'll let her in.

[Knock on door]

Tad: Hello? Listen, it's me. I'm the guy that screwed up your wedding.
Esther: Don't go out there, Stuart. He's a maniac.
Stuart: He sounds like somebody I know.
Esther: Sure, you know him. It's that hound dog Elvis. He wrecked our wedding.

[Knock on door]

Tad: Hello? Listen, if it's all right, I was kind of hoping I could come in and speak with you and the groom.
Stuart: We can't just leave him out there.
Esther: I'll have a word with him. You stay here.
Stuart: But I want to know what he looks like.
Esther: He's just a cuckoo bird.
Stuart: Oh.
Esther: Yoo-hoo, Mister, are you still there?
Tad: Yeah, I am. I was hoping that you would give me a chance to apologize.
Esther: That's not possible. We're in seclusion.
Tad: Oh. I understand. Well, listen, I just want you to know that I'm very sorry, ok? I didn't mean to mess up the big day for you. Fact is lately I seem to have a talent for dropping into people's lives unintentionally and hurting them. And as much as I'd like to be the king for the day, I'm not exactly anybody's idol. Especially at home. Truth is last time I tried to help the people I care about, I hurt somebody and a dear friend of mine ended up dead. So I don't blame you. You go ahead, keep those windows and doors locked. I wouldn't wish me on my worst enemy.
Stuart: Esther, maybe we should let him in. Maybe there's something we can do for him. He sounds so sad.

Mateo: How do we get going on the wedding? I mean, having you officiate?
Eliot: Ok, but first of all, I'd like to meet with you both and just kind of, you know, get a feeling for who you are as a couple -- your goals, your expectations --
Adrian: Hey, can't you just pencil them in for June or whenever?
Eliot: Well, I get the right of first refusal.
Tina: Well, it sounds like you're going to check them out for factory defects or something.
Mateo: Yeah, we have the normal wear and tear.
Hayley: Yeah, we have a lifetime warranty.
Eliot: You know, a marriage certificate doesn't guarantee you're going to live happily ever after, you know? So I like to speak with my couples beforehand.
Adrian: Yeah, that way you don't get sued for malpractice in case the wedding tanks.
Eliot: I take it very personally, the couples that I marry, and so if I sense that they're not on the same page, then, well, I don't pass judgment, but I will pass on doing the wedding.
Tina: Oh, that's wild. So every couple at you've walked down the aisle with, then none of them have ever gotten a divorce?
Eliot: Nope. But then again, I've only been an ordained minister for a few years --
Hayley: Well, you know, Mateo and I don't have anything to prove to anybody, but we'd be happy to show you how happy we are with one another.
Eliot: Whoa! Hey! Watch this one.
Tina: Oh!
Mateo: Nice wrist action.
Adrian: The man knows how to throw a Frisbee.
Tina: Hey, do you want to get a game up?
Eliot: Keep away. You're it.
Tina: No!
Adrian: Watch out.
Tina: I wasn't ready.
Adrian: No fear, no mercy. Let's go. Come on.

Scott: I met up with Marian at my dad's grave. She helped me to realize, to see that life is too unpredictable to put on hold. I don't want to wait a year or five years or 10 years when I know that I will -- I'll always feel the same way about you.
Becca: Scott, I was totally not expecting this.
Scott: Why? I've told you. I've told you I'm in love with you. But you've never told me back.
Becca: Well, I just -- I didn't want to say anything that I wasn't sure of. I've never been in love before, and I don't know how it feels.
Scott: Well, how do you feel about me?
Becca: Well, you're incredibly smart, and you're dedicated, and so much fun. I can tell you anything.
Scott: That's you, not me.

Becca: I can think of a million reasons why I should marry you.
Scott: Except for one -- you don't love me.
Becca: Scott, you're the kind of guy that I've always dreamed about. I just -- I don't know if I'm ready to get married to anyone.
Scott: What if I was Leo?

Derek: Is everything ok?
Palmer: Well, I wish I -- wish I could report that all is well, but unfortunately, my poor wife is -- well, she's so upset about her son's arrest for murder that she's -- well, she's become careless.
Derek: And?
Palmer: Did you find what you were looking for, dear, the missing earring?
Vanessa: Oh. No. No. I'm afraid it's lost.
Palmer: Aw. What a pity.
Derek: Palmer, you call me over here saying you have some new information on Paolo Caselli's murder.
Palmer: Indulge me, Lieutenant, please. I have too much time on my hands. You see, in -- well, in ruminating about the circumstances surrounding Caselli's death, how often, that is, in your experience are the unjustly accused punished and then the guilty are set free?
Derek: Sometimes, but not often.
Palmer: But it happens. I mean, the fox does outsmart the hounds. Well, take Vanessa. You see, she protests that Leo is innocent.
Derek: Well, nobody wants to believe that a loved one is capable of murder.
Palmer: My quandary in a nutshell.
Derek: Mr. Cortlandt, well, thanks to budget cuts, the Pine Valley Police Department is overworked and understaffed. So we don't have a lot of time to just sit around discussing criminal theory.
Palmer: Well, consider me at your service.
Derek: Fine. Bottom line -- can you prove that Leo Du Pres didn't kill Paolo Caselli?
Palmer: Without a doubt.
Palmer: Now, you heard the Lieutenant, Vanessa. He wants proof that Leo didn't kill Caselli.
Derek; If proof exists.
Palmer: I assure you it does.
Derek: Then show it to me.
Palmer: Well, perhaps it would be better if I turned the evidence over to Leo's attorney. Then he can advise me what the best course would be to take.
Derek: Palmer, did you call me up here just to yank my chain?
Palmer: No, just to tell you that I have discovered a loophole large enough for Leo to walk through and hang the real culprit.
Derek: You know, Mr. Cortlandt, you have a reputation for playing hardball with your adversaries. Well, I am no corporate shark, but there is no business bigger than murder and I won't stand around here while you play head games.
Palmer: Lieutenant, I don't want you to mistake a sincere warning as a bluff. But if you hope to make chief one day, I would advise you to rethink your case against Du Pres.

Vanessa: Oh, Palmer. Palmer, darling. Oh, I knew you wouldn't go through with it. Thank you, thank you --
Palmer: Shut up, woman! I'm not through with you yet.

Becca: Scott, Leo has nothing to do with you and me.
Scott: Well, then you're in major denial or haven't been paying attention, Becca.
Becca: What's that supposed to mean?
Scott: Well, it's obvious.
Becca: Not to me.
Scott: Leo's got this -- this bad-boy thing going on. He's a rebel without a cause, and becca, the country girl, is hooked on his dark side. You better be careful. Because he's messed up, he can't love anybody. You get too close to him or try to change him, he's going to kick you all the way to the curb. I love you too much to watch you get hurt like that.
Becca: Scott, wait.

Eliot: Becca! Oh, I should've had it. White men can't jump. Adrian! Something got you down?
Becca: Is it true what they say?
Eliot: Is what true?
Becca: Are good girls attracted to bad boys?

Esther: You know, Stuart, I'd really like to help this Elvis guy, I really would, but today is my wedding day and it didn't work out. I mean, I can hardly hold myself together, I'm so tied up in knots inside. So, I mean, would you really think that I was selfish and mean if I just asked him to go away?
Stuart: No. Heck, no. You don't have a selfish or mean bone in your body.
Esther: Mr. Elvis, um -- we accept your apology, and we really think that the best thing is for you to go back to where you came from and try to fix things up with your family. I mean -- and don't fret about us. We'll be ok.
Tad: You sure you're not trying to make me feel better?
Esther: No, no. We'll be fine, really.
Tad: Well, all right. Well, listen, you ever need anything, my name is --
Esther: There's nothing!
Tad: Well, I wish you all -- I wish you both all the luck in the world.

Stuart: Esther, can I get you something? A glass of water, maybe?
Esther: Oh, no, thanks. I'm not thirsty. Now, tomorrow we'll find us a real justice of the peace and then we'll get married and everything will be hunky-dory. Right, Stuart?
Stuart: I'm not so sure.
Esther: What?
Stuart: Well, I'm just thinking maybe we're not supposed to get married again.
Esther: Stuart, why are you saying that?
Stuart: Because, when something is really supposed to happen, it usually happens. Except maybe like it's supposed to be a sunny day and you get rain or a rainy day and you get sun or vice versa.
Esther: Stuart, what in heaven's name are you talking about?
Stuart: I'm just -- I just mean that maybe -- maybe we're not supposed to get married. We tried to fix it up, and it just didn't pan out. First there was the guy, the Elvis guy, that got you all flustered. And just maybe we're not supposed to get married again. Hmm? Like the forecast was for a wedding and got rain instead. It got rained out. Or maybe something else, something you haven't told me yet. There is something else, isn't there?
Esther: There's nothing I haven't told you, Stuart. It's just that I get these panic attacks. I mean, I can't control them. It's like there's a lightning storm in my brain, and I can't think straight, and I forget to breathe, and my heart starts going a million miles a second.
Stuart: That doesn't sound like panic. That sounds like love. You must love me an awful lot if your body starts getting the shaking shimmies. Makes me feel like a jillion feet tall.
Esther: Yeah, well, careful you don't go through the roof.
Stuart: Hey, I know. I've got a wonderful idea. We're already married, right? We did the Mr. and Mrs. stuff, so what if we just made up our own wedding ceremony?
Esther: Right here? Now?
Stuart: Sure. Why not?v Esther: Well, no reason, I guess.
Stuart: We say what's really in our hearts instead of what some Elvis guy who doesn't even know us thinks we should say. What do you say?
Esther: I think it's the sweetest idea thought up by the sweetest man in the world.
Stuart: You want to go first?
Esther: Well, I pretty much know what I'm going to say. I've been waiting practically my whole life to say it.

Adam: "All is for the best in this best of all possible worlds." That was you, Stuart. That was your world. In your world, there were no stray cats, no war, no bad guys. In your world, every kitten had a home, peace broke out daily, and there were plenty of good guys. I didn't know where to look for them. And you knew where to look for them. Unfortunately, in my world, evil prevails. I'm living proof of that. I've broken every commandment there is. While my kinder, gentler, self never hurt anyone. And here you lie under the ground and I'm still up here cursing the life that you loved so much. The saint goes up in flames and the sinner survives. Now, what kind of a moral does that give us? what -- what do we learn from that? Is there any justice? If god could stop playing his cosmic jokes, you'd be up here, Stuart, and I'd be down there. And you'd be loving me, missing me, wishing you could take my place.

Hayley: You know, this is the kind of day Uncle Stuart always loved. The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky.
Junior: You think maybe we could go see his grave?
Hayley: I think that's a great idea. You want to come?
Mateo: Ok. Yeah. Maybe we can pick some flowers or something, you know?
Hayley: Yeah, there's that big, empty field behind the boathouse with all those daisies.
Junior: Ok.
Hayley: We're going to put flowers on Uncle Stuart's grave.
Adrian: We'll stay behind - do the KP duty.
Mateo: All right. We'll catch up with you later.

Tina: Nonfiction, huh?
Adrian: Yeah. I like biographies. People are always easier to understand when they're between two covers. Of a book. Oh. Hey, did I mention that Mateo and I met with the insurance rep to go over the employee benefit packages?
Tina: Really?
Adrian: Yeah. They're fully loaded, I got to tell you -- medical, dental, pension, life insurance. They even cover eye exams. You know what? The co-pay is so small, you don't even feel the bite.
Tina: Cool.
Adrian: So, what about that benefit package with the record company?
Tina: About the same but they cover the co-pay.
Adrian: So, I guess all the benefits are pretty even, huh
Tina: Yeah.
Adrian: So, all considered, just exactly what is it going to take to get you to stay at S.O.S.?
Tina: I don't know. What do you got?

Eliot: You scared me, Becca. For a minute there, I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant.
Becca: It would have to be the immaculate conception.
Eliot: It's been know
n to happen. Becca: You always do that.
Eliot: What?
Becca: Always make me feel better.
Eliot: Well, you know, some preachers just don't happen to be the fire-and-brimstone types.
Becca: You'd tell me, Rev. Freeman, if you thought I was going to hell, wouldn't you?
Eliot: Well, don't let anybody from my divinity school hear that I said this, but part of me believes that the existentialists got it right -- hell is other people.
Becca: Then I'm cooked.
Eliot: Not necessarily.
Becca: Rev. Freeman, back home in my dresser drawers, I have 12 perfect attendance Sunday school pins. 12 Years of devotion, obedience, loyalty to God.
Eliot: And you haven't missed a service since I came to Good Shepherd.
Becca: So I should want to be attracted to a guy who has 12 perfect Sunday school attendance pins in his drawer, too, right?
Eliot: Theologically correct.
Becca: Then there must be something wrong with me.
Eliot: Absolutely.

Tad: Hey. You still angry at me, like everybody else?
Marilyn: The wedding screw up wasn't all your fault. Cherry pie?
Tad: Yeah. Sure. Thanks.
Marilyn: It's obvious the lovebirds don't get out of their cage too much.
Tad: Hmm.
Marilyn: Go on.
Tad: Thanks.
Marilyn: Dig in.
Tad: You don't know how right you are. I never even got to lay eyes on them.
Marilyn: Well, the groom is kind of an odd duck. For starters, he's lost his memory, totally. He doesn't even remember that he's got this wife that's crazy about him. I mean, how sad is that?
Tad: Poor guy must be devastated.
Marilyn: His brain's a little scrambled, but don't get me wrong -- he's not dumb. He's kind of special. Like, here, see, he drew this.
Tad: Kind of familiar. He's got a lot of talent -- your friend, I mean. It's kind of nice. You mind if I keep this?
Marilyn: Yeah. It'll be a souvenir of your short stay here in this desert oasis.
Tad: Thank you. Speaking of which, what do you do for kicks around a place like this?
Marilyn: We hold cockroach races, watch the paint dry, OD. On pie.
Tad: Hmm. So what keeps you here?
Marilyn: Something that he said -- the napkin artist. Boy, he really got my number. I was going to run away to Vegas -- you know, bright lights, big city -- but he stopped me.
Tad: How?
Marilyn: He said that whatever it is I'm looking for is not out there, it's in here, in my heartland, and that I have to take care of the people that love me and the ones that I love because you never know when the next time you say hello is really going to be good-bye. When he lost his memory, he really lost himself, his whole life. What's the matter, city boy? No sarcastic remark? No snappy comeback?
Tad: No. Sounds like a smart man, your friend. And I should know. I made exactly the same mistake. And here I am, because I risked everything -- my wife and my family.
Marilyn: A hotshot know-it-all like you didn't know better?
Tad: No, I guess not. I made the number-one mistake you can make in my business. I believed my own press, thought I was the guy with all the answers and everybody else was just some sort of deluded chump.
Marilyn: Tough break.
Tad: Yeah. Excuse me for a second, would you? I want to make a phone call. I'm kind of homesick.

Tad: Hello? Can anybody hear me? Jamie? Junior? Honey? Dix, if you're there, come on, pick up the phone, sweetie, please? I -- I really want to talk to you. I miss you very much. I wanted to see if -- if you could help me undo some of the mistakes that I made.

Stuart: You ready?
Esther: You go first. You're better with words.
Stuart: But you remember more words than I do. That makes us even. Then I'll go first. Age before beauty. We've had a fine life. We have a really nice place to live. And we have something to look forward to -- the life we had. The way we were together before I had my accident. So, I can't make any real promises, I guess, but I can make a wish -- that I'll be everything that you remembered, everything you loved, and everything that you need me to be. We'll just stay right here and I'll work really hard, and someday when I'm flipping flapjacks or nailing up a loose board or something, I'll look up and I'll see you, and the life we had will come rushing back to me, full of lights and color and memories. I can't wait to remember you. Well, that's -- that's it. You're next.
Esther: I was lost in the dark before I met you, Stuart, and then it was as if, you know, someone came along and switched on the light. I learned to dance by the light of the moon. I heard music unwrapping a chocolate candy bar. You've made me feel safe and warm and loved. And I never dreamed that I was going to have a life, Stuart, until I met you. And I pray that when you get your memory back, if you get your memory back, that you will remember how much we meant to each other. Amen.

Palmer: Our marriage was nothing more than a social stepping stone, a mutual back scratch. But when you sank your claws into Caselli, you invalidated that contract. Now, I have every right to throw you out on the street with only the clothes on your back, and I am -- ooh -- one step from doing just that.
Vanessa: But you wouldn't.
Palmer: You know me too well. The fate I have in store for you is worse than you could ever possibly imagine.
Palmer: You see, Vanessa, these are my conditions. I'm not going to divorce you.
Vanessa: Oh, Palmer. Oh, thank you, darling. You won't regret it.
Palmer: But I am going to cut you off without a cent, and, of course, your credit is canceled. Oh, I will grant you a small weekly stipend until you prove yourself to be worthy of being Mrs. Palmer Cortlandt.
Vanessa: Well, how long will this probation last?
Palmer: Long as I see fit.
Vanessa: Well, you know, darling, that really isn't quite fair, because to keep up appearances, I'll have expenses.
Palmer: You're already overdrawn. And furthermore, you will volunteer your services at the local community center. That is, to help the poor and the destitute just as a reminder of where you're going to end up if you ever cross me again.
Vanessa: All right, Palmer, this is really too much. I refuse because it would be humiliating.
Palmer: You will do as I say or else.
Vanessa: Or else what?
Palmer: Or else I will call Lt. Frye back and I will tell him that you killed Paolo Caselli. I will also make another call to "The Pine Valley Bulletin" and make the following birth announcement -- revealing the true identity of Leo's not-so-proud papa.
Vanessa: You know?
Palmer: Oh, yeah. I've known for quite some time.
Vanessa: You wouldn't tell.
Palmer: Well, that's for me to know and for you to find out. I own you, madam, body and soul.

Adrian: You like playing games, one against the other.
Tina: It's not a game. It's what my life was never about when I was growing up. I had nothing, so I had no choices.
Adrian: Yeah, you did. You had two -- remain stagnant or rise above. Consciously or unconsciously, you chose to move forward and rise above.
Tina: All right. And now I've got choices galore. So, which way do I go?

Eliot: Becca, your basic flaw -- not fatal, forgivable -- is that you're human. Which means that all your plans for perfect attendance don't count in the real world.
Becca: They don't?
Eliot: Life happens when you're not watching. It's like a sneak attack or a wonderful surprise. Only you get to determine which.
Becca: Well, what if I don't want to decide? I mean, what if I'm not ready?
Eliot: Well, then you just take it one day at a time until you know in your heart that you're being true to yourself and your one true love.
Stuart: Well, I'd better -- I got to go do my shift at the Queen of Hearts. Got to keep working, save our money if we're going to keep on moving on.
Esther: Oh, I'll go with you.

Marilyn: Do you want anything else?
Tad: No. I'm fine, Marilyn, thanks. Appreciate it.
Marilyn: Well, I hope you find what you're looking for.
Tad: Thank you. You, too.
Marilyn: Thanks.

[Tad looks up and Dixie is standing watching him]


ON THE NEXT . . . . ALL MY CHILDREN

Greenlee: What happened here last night? I'm not leaving until you tell me everything.

[Esther gasps]

Hayley: How could you do that to your own son?

Edmund: Charlotte, what's really going on?





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