Brooke: Let's sit down.
Laura: Oh, wait. Breathe.
Brooke: Honey?
Laura: French fries,
burgers, grease. Brooke: Suddenly I think I should've taken you to the movies. Come on, let's sit down. You know, you're on a restricted diet --
Laura: I know.
Brooke: For right now. I'm sorry.
Laura: This is perfect. Thank you for busting me out of the hospital tonight.
Brooke: It's just for a little while.
Laura: I know. Actually, I was surprised you agreed so quickly.
Brooke: Well, it's a controlled breakout.
Laura: Mom, I'm sorry about last night. I really just meant to make an appearance at Leo's party and then come right back.
Brooke: Oh, Honey. You scared me to death, but I admire your convictions.
Laura: Wow. You're being great. What, am I getting a cavity filled or something?
Brooke: What?
Laura: You know, like when you take Jamie to the dentist, you always give him a video game or something to make up for the shot of Novocain.
Brooke: Is that what I do?
Laura: Busted! So, what, am I getting a shot or something?

Leo: And you're sure I need a burger?
Bianca: Well, have you eaten today? Leo, if you have to think about it, you haven't eaten. Come on.
Leo: I can't eat, Bianca. I'm not even hungry. At least not until I find Greenlee. You should've seen her last night when she left the loft. She was -- she was so messed up. Look, I mean, I can't find her anywhere.
Bianca: I'm sure she's all right, Leo.
Leo: No, she's not. Thanks to me, she may never be fine again.

Greenlee: You want me to strip?
Jake: Yep, yep. Well, come on, come on, let's drop them.
Greenlee: I thought you were different. It hasn't even been 24 hours. And you expect me to -- you think I'd even consider it? You -- you man. Ugh!

[Walkman plays]

Mateo: What are you doing?
Hayley: What?
Mateo: What are you doing?
Hayley: I'm meeting up with a group of interplanetary protestors. We're very upset that Pluto's being removed as a planet.
Mateo: That's funny, that's funny. You see, it's really dark out. Have you noticed that?
Hayley: Get out of town.
Mateo: Yeah.
Hayley: Huh. I have noticed, and Dr. Clader said exercise is good for me.
Mateo: I know, but it's late. It's kind of late. I don't want you --
Hayley: Honey, one lap around the lake is not going to hurt, plus there's plenty of people outside, ok?
Mateo: All right, just take it easy. You have precious cargo onboard.
Hayley: I promise, no paddle boating.
Mateo: That's my girl. My girls. My girls. I just don't want you taking any chances. All right?

Judge: Let's get down to business, shall we? This is in the matter of Adam Chandler Jr. Is the young man present?
Adam: Yes, of course, your honor. I was hoping that possibly before we start I might have a word in private with you before my son comes in?
Judge: By "private," I hope you're not suggesting I clear my office.
Barry: Of course not, your honor.
Adam: No, of course not. I just mean before we bring J.R. in here
. Judge: What's on your mind, Mr. Chandler?
Barry: Your honor, may I confer with my client a moment?
Adam: There's no need, Barry. Sorry. My son is a good boy. I don't dispute any of the charges that Officer Perry has made against him. I just hope that we can be aware of the circumstances surrounding this incident. His mother and his stepfather are going through a divorce.
Dixie: No, we are not going through a divorce. We are separated. We haven't filed for divorce.
Adam: Well, not yet. My son watched them go through this once fore, and the separation and the subsequent divorce took a tremendous toll on him, and now it's happening all over again.
Tad: How many times you been divorced, Adam?
Judge: You're citing his mother's separation as the reason for your son's behavior?
Adam: Yes, yes, I certainly am. The boy's under tremendous stress. He's depressed, he's upset, and he snapped.
Officer Perry: He attacked me.
Adam: Officer Perry, you're proving my point. Look at you. You're three times his size. Did he attack you to hurt you? Or was this a desperate plea for help? Judge, if you knew my child, you'd know how uncharacteristic this all is. He's a very gentle boy who's never been prone to violence. I can't imagine him even capable of doing anything thoughtless or reckless.
Adam: J.R. feels terrible about this whole incident.
Officer Perry: He mouthed off all the way to the precinct. He didn't sound too contrite to me.
Adam: Because he was terrified.
Officer Perry: He tried to buy me off and then hollered for his old man's mouthpiece. He even threatened to have me fired off the force.
Adam: He's a sensitive boy who's going through a very difficult time.
Officer Perry: He's a rich little punk.
Adam: Well, it's not hard to see the prejudice in that statement, officer. Judge, look at his record. The boy's an excellent student, he's an outstanding athlete. He's never been in trouble like this before.
Dixie: Until he moved in with his father.

Jake: You think I was trying to jump your bones?
Greenlee: You can talk the talk oh noble one, but when it comes down to it, you can't walk the walk. And I thought you were so different. Ha!
Jake: You know what? I'm just trying to help you, Greenlee.
Greenlee: Oh, please, you were hitting on me, Jake. You figure I'm all vulnerable after what happened with Leo, but it's not going to happen, ok? Maybe in the past I would've fallen into the arms of the first handsome, warm body, but not anymore.
Jake: Why don't you just try to get over yourself.
Greenlee: And you're better off. My rebounds last a few weeks, a month tops. I couldn't do that to you. You've already been hurt by miss goulash-a-go-go. You know, you really should work on this thing you have about rescuing unattainable women.
Jake: So now you're trying to give me advice, is that what it is?
Greenlee: We're friends, right? We should tell each other the truth. And the truth is I'd just take advantage of you, Jake. Not that I don't find you attractive. I mean, I do. You're a babe. But just --
Jake: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on here. You know what? I think you and I really do need to talk this through, so why don't you come on over here to the barstool, sit right here, and --
Greenlee: Be reasonable.
Jake: I'll make us some coffee.
Greenlee: Be reasonable, Jake, you know? You and I, we just --
Jake: I know, I know, I know. I'm just going to have to handle the disappointment. In the meantime, let me get the java going.
Greenlee: Please. Don't think that I don't know you're using coffee as an excuse to keep me here.
Jake: Actually, I'm, uh, using it to keep you from going to jail, Greenlee, because you indulged in enough champagne earlier that I'm sure that you're way over the legal limit.
Greenlee: And your suggesting that I drop them?
Jake: That wasn't a sexual come-on or however you supposedly took it there, ok? What I was suggesting is that you need a cold shower. And you still need one right now, for many reasons.
Greenlee: You wouldn't know what a woman needed if your boring life depended on it. Stick that in your coffee and stir it. Now, get out of my way.
Jake: Ok, ok, ok. Hold on, hold on.
Greenlee: What?
Jake: You're leaving me no choice do to this. You know that. You know?
Greenlee: What?
Jake: Don't fight.
[Jake pours cold water over Greenlee]

[Greenlee screams]
Jake: You're leaving me no choice.

Bianca: Leo, I'm not making light of Greenlee's emotional state, but she is a natural-born survivor. Please stop worrying.
Leo: That's impossible.
Leo: Hey, there's Laura and Brooke.
Bianca: Yeah. Maybe we should go say hi.

Brooke: No wonder you wanted to come here.
Laura: What do you mean?
Brooke: Well, it's quite a coincidence that Leo and Bianca showed up, don't you think?
Laura: I suppose.

Leo: Hey, how are you?
Laura: Oh, this is a surprise.
Brooke: Yes, it certainly is to me.
Leo: So when did you get out of the hospital?
Laura: Oh, just a little while ago.
Brooke: She's not released yet.
Laura: My mother just sprung me out for a few hours. Hey, you guys, join us. Sit down. How you feeling? I was worried about you last night.
Leo: Oh, fine.
Laura: Are you? I mean, the way things happened was sort of weird.
Bianca: Brooke, it's -- it's awesome that you could bring Laura out tonight.
Brooke: Oh, well, it was very supportive of you to bring Leo out, as well.
Leo: So when do you get out for good?
Laura: Good question. Mom, you have any idea?
Brooke: Uh, the doctors don't know for sure.
Laura: Well, what's the holdup? I mean, I'm not really that sick, am I?
Brooke: Honey, you don't really want to talk about your health here, do you?
Laura: What? You can say anything in front of Bianca or Leo. And what there to discuss? I have some kind of virus, right? I mean, how bad can it be?
Brooke: Well, heart viruses are sometimes a little tricky and they want to do what they call a cardiac catheterization.
Bianca: Really? That sounds kind of serious.
Leo: Yeah, what's up?
Brooke: No, I tell you, it sounds a lot worse than it really is. It's -- basically, it's a diagnostic procedure.
Bianca: For what?
Brooke: They go in, they check the condition of your heart. In Laura's case, they want to make sure that the virus is all out of her system. They put you under a local anesthetic and, from what I understand, you don't feel a thing.
Laura: Right. Famous last words.
Brooke: Honey, I'm sorry. I know you wanted to get out of there right away.
Laura: Uh, do I have to have it done?
Brooke: Well, you know, Dr. Joe is a stickler for details and he doesn't like to leave anything to chance, and, you know, which is why we trust him. And he recommends this test, which is why I think that it's a good idea to have it.
Laura: Yeah, I trust him, too.
Brooke: Yeah.
Laura: So when does he want to have it done?
Brooke: Uh, unfortunately, he wants to do it in a couple of hours. So no hamburgers and no fries, no anything. I'm sorry.
Laura: He wants to do it tonight?
Bianca: Why so soon?
Brooke: Well, I mean, why not? You know, now that you know what it is, don't you want to get it over with?
Laura: Yeah, I guess. So I get a video game when it's over, right?
Brooke: Honey, when it's over, you can have whatever you want.
Bianca: Well, that doesn't sound so bad.

Greenlee: Why did you do that?
Jake: Because you needed to cool off.
Greenlee You pompous know-it-all.
Jake: Me? Well, listen, you're the one who convinced yourself that I was lusting after you when all I was really trying to do is sober you up. Thanks to you, now I'm the one who needs a shower.
Greenlee: Good! Soak your head while you're at it.
Jake: Well, you know what, Greenlee? Maybe next time a doctor tells you to do something you'll do it. Oh, what am I saying? You're the one who perched on the barstool at the Valley Inn when you were drinking with a concussion.
Greenlee: You are so smug, it makes me sick!
Jake: Don't get sick on my floor, and I mean it.
Greenlee: I won't. Instead, I'll catch pneumonia and sue your pants off. Now get out!
Jake: Oh, I'm sorry. This is my place now. Here, why don't you hit the shower, put this robe on, and I'm going to go dry the rest of our laundry.
Greenlee: I'm not wearing your robe.
Jake: What are you talking about? It's clean. Not that you'd know anything about laundry since you never do it. So when's your place going to be ready, anyway?
Greenlee: Oh, not soon enough.
Jake: Amen to that. Here you go.
Jake: What? What are you waiting for?
Greenlee: I don't do terry cloth.
Jake: Well, in that case, I just might have to toss you in the dryer.

Dixie: Your honor, in a way, Adam is right. My son is taking the separation of me and Tad very hard. He's a very decent boy and he takes responsibility incredibly seriously -- until he moved in with his father.
Adam: You sent him to me, remember? And since then, I have been a good father to him.
Dixie: You have corrupted him. Where do you suppose he learned how to bribe a police officer?
Adam: Are you implying that I taught him how to bribe a cop?
Dixie: Says the man who spent his wedding night in jail for the very same reason.
Paul: Is this true, Mr. Chandler?
Barry: Your honor, that's not relevant to this case.
Man: It's true. Mr. Chandler was arrested for trying to bribe a police officer while under house arrest.
Paul: That so?
Adam: Aren't we getting off the point here?
Dixie: No, this is exactly the point. My son is emulating my ex-husband's worst qualities -- cheating, lying, manipulating, trying to intimidate people.
Adam: I am not a cheater.
Dixie: Your honor, I love my son, and that's why I don't want you to give him just a slap on the wrist. Please take everything good about him that we've said into consideration, but, as his mother, I feel that it's imperative that he sees that there's consequences to his behavior.
Paul: Thank you, Mrs. Martin. I completely agree. Mr. Chandler, bring in your son. Sometime before midnight, please.
Adam: Uh -- yes.

Hayley: Mateo --
Mateo: Hmm?
Hayley: Really, I'm not going to overdo it, ok, but it's unrealistic for you to think that I'm going to sit around on my rear end and eat ice cream and tamales for the next couple of months. You know what you need to do?
Mateo: You're going to tell me, aren't you?
Hayley: You need to go to work, go to your job. I mean, who's minding the club, anyway?
Mateo: You're right.
Hayley: I know.
Mateo: Ok, I'll go, I'll go. But I'll see you later, all right? I'll see you at home. Just --
Hayley: Ok.
Mateo: Ok.
Hayley: No speed-race ring.
Mateo: Me? Never. Please, no, you know, high hurdles or anything crazy like that, all right?
Hayley: I know. Bye.
Mateo: Ok. Bye. Be careful.
Hayley: Ok.

[Walkman plays]

[Hayley hums]

Mindy: Why are there so many people out tonight?
Marcus: Hello? It's warm again.
Shannon: We can't party with all these people around. Whose parents aren't home? Ken?
Ken: Don't look at me. My parents have some symphony board meeting. They'll be back anytime now.
Heather: Well, there doesn't seem to be anybody around here.
Sweeney: True, but let's just make sure there's no cops around. I don't want any of them to pass through right now, all right?

[Tires squeal]

Marcus: What the hell was that?
Ken: I don't know. It could be the cops. You want me to check?
Shannon: Yes! I can't get busted. Come on.
Heather: It's ok.
Ken: Hey. Was that you just slamming on the brakes?
J.R.: Yeah. Why?
Marcus: You're driving?
Mindy: I didn't know you had a car.
Adam: I don't. It was my dad's.
Sweeney: Aren't you too young to have your license, or does your dad just let you drive?
J.R.: No, he doesn't let me do anything. I took it.
Marcus: Sweet. Sweet.
Ken: Yeah, man, I once took my dad's car and that was just to the Burger Barn and back and he threatened to call the cops on me. Seriously.
J.R.: See, I'm not afraid of the cops -- unlike somebody else I know.
Sweeney: Hey, I had to make tracks. I was carrying.
Marcus: Hey, how'd that court thing go, by the way?
J.R.: I wouldn't know. I blew it off.
Sweeney: Man, you are out of control. I had no idea you were such a wild man.
Mindy: Me, neither. Do you have a problem, Heather?
Shannon: So are we going to party or what, hmm?
Sweeney: Sure. Ante up. Let's go.
Ken: Damn, I'm kind of low on funds.
Marcus: Sweeney, come on, man, we're good for it.
Heather: Yeah, come on.
Sweeney: No can do, Marcus. You know the drill, man.
J.R.: It's all right, guys, I got it covered. What you got, Sweeney?
Marcus: You are the man.
Heather: Awesome!
Sweeney: What do you want? I got it all. Everything from X to speed.

Dixie: This is like my worst nightmare. All of J.R.'S life, I've been worried that his father's genes are going to someday take possession of him.
Tad: Don't say it, don't even think it. J.R. is going to be fine, I promise, ok? As soon as he gets over this hump, he's going to come home with you.
Dixie: I've just been so afraid to push, you know, because I feel so guilty of everything that happened before.
Tad: You've got to push. Now you got to get tough with the boy. This last incident proves it.
Dixie: You're right. You're absolutely right. I've just got to get him away from Adam or else he's going to grow up thinking he can get away with anything if he has the money and the power.
Tad: Yeah, but there's plenty of hope. I'd love to spend some more time with him, if it's ok with you. I mean, I could always -- I could plan a camping trip to Llantano Mountain, I mean, if it's ok. Just -- look, we're going to get him back, don't worry.
Dixie: Thank you so much.

Paul: Well? Where's your son?
Adam: I'm not sure.
Dixie: What? What are you saying?
Adam: Junior seems to have disappeared.

J.R.: Hey, guys, whatever you want, help yourselves.

[Music plays]

J.R.: That should cover it. Sweeney: Pleasure doing business with you, as always.
J.R.: You going to join us?
Sweeney: No, man, I got to stay sharp. You go on without me, though, all right? I'll hang out.
J.R.: Ok.
Mindy: Here you go, J.R.
Ken: Hey, J.R. -- Thanks, man. You the man.
J.R.: Hey, guys, why don't we do this, like, every Friday or something after school?
Mindy: Oh, that's a great idea.
J.R.: That is if I ever go back.
Shannon: Oh, that's right, you were suspended. God, do you think your parents are going to ship you off to boarding school? Mine threatened to do that to me.
J.R.: No way. My dad already tried doing that. I just ran away.
Ken: What about -- what about Pigeon Poop? Isn't that where your mom's from?
J.R.: Something like that. I -- I told them I'm never going back there, ever.
Sweeney: Hmm.
Ken: Hey, J.R., Try two of these, they'll have you twisting.
Heather: Yeah. Ken: Guaranteed. All right! Yeah, man.

Hayley: J.R.
Hayley: What's going on?

Laura: Oh, yes! Perfect bite. I give him a 10. Yep, juicy but neat.
Bianca: Yes, but watch how he executes the French fry. Total mastery. Here's the approach.
Brooke: I had no idea that eating fries and a hamburger had reached Olympic event proportions.
Laura: Well, Bianca says that Leo hasn't eaten all day. I'm really glad you brought him out tonight.
Leo: More like grabbed me by the arm and dragged me here. She wasn't taking no for an answer. Excuse my --
Bianca: Well, Leo has always been there when I needed him. Tonight is payback.
Leo: Do you mind if we don't talk about last night while I eat?
Laura: I'm all for that.
Bianca: You know, I have to give my mom a ring and let her know where I am. I'll be right back.
Laura: Oh, I'll go with you. Mother, make sure he finishes everything on his plate.
Brooke: Ok. Take it easy.

Leo: What? Oh. You're worried about the procedure.
Brooke: It's just precautionary.
Leo: No, no, I know how it is. I mean, I'm not as close as you and Laura with my mother, but when she was in the hospital, I freaked out completely. .
Brooke: I know. David's been temporarily released so that he can perform this procedure.
Leo: Well, I thought -- didn't you just say that this thing was just precautionary?
Brooke: It is.
Leo: So you're going to spring him from jail just to do a simple test?
Brooke: Let's just say sometimes I call in a favor. And you would be wise to remember that.
Leo: Ok, uh, I have to retrieve some messages, so --
Brooke: Not so fast, Leo. I want to talk to you while we are alone.
Leo: What's on your mind?
Brooke: I like to be honest with people, so I want to make myself very clear.
Leo: Ok.
Brooke: Now that Greenlee has dumped you, I don't want you getting any ideas about Laura.
Leo: Ms. English, it's not like that with me and Laura.
Brooke: I'm glad to hear it. Because Laura's already had too much heartache in her life. And I will be damned if I'm going to let you make her your next mark. Am I clear?
Leo: I'm not here to prey on your daughter. I came to have a burger, not even of my own choice.
Brooke: I'm not in the mood for games, Leo. You've been warned.
Leo: Yes, and this isn't the first time you've felt the need. Look, I realize that you don't know me, but I'm not the monster that Roger Smythe makes me out to be.
Brooke: You know what? I don't care.
Leo: Fair enough. But since we're speaking candidly, I'd like to make my position clear, too, ok? I'm not done with Greenlee. I love her very much and I intend to get her back.
Brooke: Glad to hear it. Go for it.
Leo: Ok, and as far as Laura goes, I'm the one who ended that. And not because I don't care about her -- I do, a lot -- but as a friend. I would never intentionally hurt your daughter. She's far too good of a person.
Brooke: I agree. And I certainly hope that I can take you at your word.
Leo: You can, on this matter, especially.

Brooke: Ahem.
Laura: Whoa. It's tense here. What did we miss?
Leo: Nothing. Your mother was just trying to get me to clean my plate, but I can't. I've had enough. Ladies, it's been real, but I've got to get going.
Laura: Oh, Leo, really?
Bianca: Leo, I drove you here. Where are you going?
Leo: I got to get back to the yacht. I've got to speak with my lawyer.
Bianca: Ok, I'll -- I'll take you.
Laura, I'm sorry we had to leave.
Laura: No problem.
Leo: Ok.
Laura: Good night.
Leo: Good luck with the procedure. I'll see you as soon as I can.
Brooke: No, no. No need, Leo. I'll take care of your meal this time.
Leo: Ok, thank you. I'll get you next time. See you.

Greenlee: Here.
Jake: Not on the clean -- never mind. So you feeling better after your shower?
Greenlee: Ducky.
Jake: I'll take that as a yes. How about some coffee?
Greenlee: Whatever.
Jake: Thought I'd just pour it myself in case you want to take revenge out on me, you know? Here you are. Nice and hot.
Greenlee: Where's the cream?
Jake: Drink it black.
Greenlee: But, Jake, I need it.
Jake: Oh, just drink it, Greenlee. Come on.
Greenlee: This isn't half-bad. What is it, Kenyan?
Jake: No, it's American, by way of Colombia. No, no, no, no, drink up. When you're finished with that, you can mop up. Here.
Greenlee: What?
Jake: What do you mean, "what?" You can mop up that mess over there.
Greenlee: You made the mess. You clean it up.
Jake: Oh, while you wallow in your self-pity and in injured pride right here on the sofa? I don't think so, Greenlee. Here's your mop.
Greenlee: If you don't like the picture, too bad. You insisted I stay.
Jake: Need I remind you that you are the one who begged me to stay in this penthouse while your place was under construction? Now, take your mop and get over here and clean up that water.
Greenlee: I don't beg and I'm not your maid.
Jake: You are the houseguest from hell, that's who you are. Now, pick up this mop right now or, so help me, I'm going to swab this entire floor with your robe -- and you're going to be in it.

Dixie: Did you look in the men's room?
Tad: Or the soda machines. Maybe he went to get something to drink.
Adam: No, I checked.
Paul: Officer Perry, would you mind having a look around?
Officer Perry: Not at all, Sir.
Man: This isn't helping your son's case.
Adam: Well, thank you for a blaring example of the obvious.

Tad: Don't mouth off. What did you do, stash him someplace?
Adam: I don't know where he is. I have no idea --
Dixie: This is all your fault. You should've let him come in here in the first place.
Adam: I was trying to smooth the way. All these people in here, he was completely intimidated.
Dixie: The way isn't supposed to be smooth. He assaulted a police officer.
Adam: Fine! Take Officer Goliath's side and forget all about your own flesh and blood.

Paul: If you don't stop arguing in my chambers, I'll have you all removed.
Barry: Adam, please.
Officer Perry: Sir? There's no sign of him.
Man: Your honor, it's getting late.
Paul: I agree. I have no choice but to recess this hearing. Adam Chandler is found in contempt of court. I'll finish the paperwork in the morning. Good evening.
Adam: Judge -- good night, Judge.

Barry: I'll call you first thing in the morning.
Adam: Barry, wait, wait.

Dixie: I don't know what to do. Where should we look?
Tad: Well, he hasn't got his bike with him, so he couldn't have gone very far.
Dixie: Do you think we should call Derek?
Adam: No. No cops.

Hayley: Hi, guys.
Ken and Heather: Hi.
Sweeney: Hello.
Shannon: Wow, God, J.R., Your sister is so much prettier in real life than she is on TV.
Hayley: Oh. Thanks, I think.
J.R.: What are you doing here, Hayley?
Hayley: Oh, I'm just out looking for nuts and berries to eat. Where's Dad?
J.R.: Dad?
Hayley: Mm-hmm, Dad. Yeah, I saw his car. Where is he? Where is he?
J.R.: Um -- he's in the back. You could look for him.
Hayley: So what's going on?
J.R.: I was just -- just hanging. You know, I haven't seen my friends in a long time. I got kicked out of school.
Hayley: Yeah. Yeah, I heard about that. You want to go somewhere and talk?
J.R.: Maybe not. Uh, I -- I could -- I'll call you, ok?
Hayley: Yeah. Call me. I'm going to go look for Dad. Peace out.
Marcus: Bye.
Heather and Shannon: Bye.
Shannon: It was really nice to meet you.
Ken: Yeah.

Heather: Oh, my God.
Sweeney: Dude, your sister's gorgeous, man. J.R.: Yeah, yeah, she's --
she's fine. I'm going to go.
Sweeney: All right, man.
Marcus: All right, Bro.
Shannon: Oh, bye, J.R. Drive safe.

Sweeney: That Chandler's ok, huh?
Marcus: Yeah. At first I thought he was a geek trying to be cool, but he's outrageous.
Mindy: Kind of cute, too.
Shannon and Heather: Mindy.

Hayley: Where's J.R.?
Sweeney: Oh, uh, he -- he took off.
Heather: Yeah, yeah.
Hayley: Huh. Hmm. Imagine that. My dad's not back there, and now J.R.'S gone. So who wants to tell me what's going on?

[Car starts]

J.R.: Hayley, get out of the car.
Hayley: What the hell do you think you're doing?
J.R.: All right, fine, you want to go for a little ride? Let's go.

Brooke: You know, we should be getting back to the hospital because they -- they need to prep you.
Laura: Ok. As long as they don't shave my head.
Brooke: You're taking this extremely well.
Laura: Well, I'm in a good mood. And I figure the sooner they find out there's nothing wrong with me, the sooner I can get back to the rest of my life, and I'm very anxious for that, especially now.
Brooke: Because of Leo? Please don't get carried away as far as Leo --
Laura: Mom, Mom, I know that you were hesitant about me and Leo at the start, and with good reason. I mean, it was foolish of me to think I had a chance when he was preoccupied with another woman.
Brooke: That wasn't the only reason.
Laura: Well, that was top of the list. But now, with Greenlee and Leo split, I mean, maybe it's not to late for me after all.

Greenlee: Happy now?
Jake: Yeah, I think you found your calling. Maybe not. Actually, you missed a spot right there.
Greenlee: I'll tell you where I missed a spot.
Jake: Whoa. Hey, hey. Hey! Whoa, ho, ho!
Greenlee: Ha, ha!
Jake: Try it again? Try that again. Oh, is that all you got? Oh, oh, pretty good for a wimp, huh, huh?
Greenlee: A wimp? A wimp?
Jake: Oh, yeah. Let's see what you got. Come on, let's see what you got.
Greenlee: Hey, hey.
Jake: What?
Greenlee: Hey, wait! Jake: "Hey," what?
Greenlee: Stop!
Jake: "Hey," what?
Greenlee: Jake!
Jake: Oh, aren't you tough?
Greenlee: Let go of me!
Jake: Aren't you tough?
Greenlee: Let go of me.
Jake: Think you got more mopping to do around here.

Dixie: What are you trying to pull, Adam?
Tad: And what do you know?
Adam: Nothing.
Tad: Well, then why are you so dead set against calling the cops?
Adam: Because he's already running scared. You want to put out an APB? Throw him into a panic?
Tad: Wait a minute. How do you know he's running scared?
Dixie: Did you tell him to run? Are you behind this? Because if you are, I swear I'll wring your neck.
Adam: Oh, that's lovely. Threaten physical violence. And she blames me for the boy's behavior.
Dixie: You are such a bastard.
Tad: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's all just focus on J.R. right now.
Dixie: Right, we've got to find him, Tad.
Tad: Ok. We will.

Adam: Give me your cell phone.
Barry: Where's yours?
Adam: It's in the car.
Barry: Can't you wait till you get out there?
Adam: It's not there. J.R. stole it.
Barry: Are you sure?
Adam: Well, I gave him my keys. He's not there, the car's not there. You figure it out. Come on, answer the phone, damn it!

[Telephone rings]

[radio blares]

Hayley: Mind if we turn this down a little?

[Ring]

Hayley: Your phone is ringing!
J.R.: Yeah, I don't want to talk to anybody.

[Ring]

Hayley: Oh. Oh, that's fine. Fine. Ok, just us. We'll talk, all right? Junior, can you slow it down a little bit?
J.R.: Hayley, I didn't ask you to get in.
Hayley: Please, Junior, I got in because I care about you. I know you're having a hard time right now.
J.R.: What else is new?
Hayley: Junior, pull over. Let me drive. You don't even have your license yet. You could get into big trouble for this.
J.R.: I don't care.
Hayley: I care! Now, come on!
J.R.: Look, I just want to drive. Is that ok? Don't hassle me.
Hayley: Fine fine! Just slow down a little bit.

[Chime]

J.R.: What the hell was that? What the hell was that?
Hayley: It's the fuel.
J.R.: What?
Hayley: You're low on fuel.
J.R.: Oh, great, no gas. Damn it!
Hayley: Junior, watch out!

[Tires squeal]


ON THE NEXT - - - - ALL MY CHILDREN

Laura: Since when did doctors have armed escorts? What are you not telling me?

Leo: Sign the prenup. Cut me out of your trust fund, cut me out of your will, but please don't cut me out of your life.

J.R.: The baby. What did I do?